en love mystery! Fifty years ago it was easier to be mysterious with men. Women lived at home and their mothers answered the phone and never told the men who else called their daughters. Dates didn't see women's bedrooms so soon. Today, men pick up women at their apartments, see their lingerie in the bathroom, their romance novels in the living room, and hear their phone messages. While such openness is good for marriage it's important to project a certain amount of mystery during the dating period.
We are all looking for someone to share our lives, thoughts, and feelings with, but as we suggested in Rule #19 wait until he says he loves you to share your innermost secrets. When he is in your apartment; don't listen to your answering machine. Let him wonder who called you besides him! You might know that the messages are probably from girlfriends feeling suicidal about their dating situation^ but he doesn't!
If your date is at your place and one of your friends calls and asks how everything is going, don't say, "Scott's over. I can't talk." That means you've been talking about Scott to your friends and he's somehow important. Even if that is the case Scott should not know that he is the subject of your thoughts and conversations or he might think he doesn't have to work so hard to get you. Simply say, "I can't talk right now. I'll call you later." After you hang up, don't tell him who called or why.
Before he comes to your apartment, tuck this book away in your top drawer and make sure any self-help books are out of sight. Have interesting or popular novels or nonfiction books in full view. Hide in the closet any grungy bathrobes or something you don't want him to see such as a bottle of Prozac.
In general, don't give away any information that is not absolutely necessary. If you are busy on the night he asks you for a date don't tell him what you are planning to do. Just say you are busy. If he asks you out for the weekend, don't say, "Ira visiting my brother this weekend. His wife just had a baby." Simply say, "I'm sorry, but I already have plans." Less is more. Let him wonder what you are doing. You don't have to be an open book. This is good for him and it's good for you. It keeps the intrigue going. You don't want to make dating you so easy and predictable that he loses interest in you. Always remember that in time you will be able to tell him just about anything!
On the other hand, Rules girls don't lie either. Don't tell a Mel Gib son-type guy that you love hiking and shop at L.L. Bean all the time when you can't stand trees, insects, and backpacks. And certainly don't tell your boyfriend that you love and want children because he does when you really don't. Take our advice. Don't lie. It's a law of the universe.
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