ating married (or unavailable) men is not only an obvious waste of time but also it's dishonest and stupid. So why do so many women do it? Some feel it's better than dating no one some find the very wrongness and danger of it (the secret hotel rendezvous) fun and exciting, and some hang on to the hope that one day the men will leave their wives for them.
All these women suffer from low self-esteem, or why would they settle for so little? We are not big advocates of therapy, but we believe it would be worth $125 an hour to find out why you would do this to yourself.
When you date a married man, you basically spend your life waiting for him to get separated. The deadline keeps changing from Thanksgiving to Christmas, then Easter, then Labor Day. You wait and you sit by the phone on the off chance that his wife took the kids to her parents' house and he can spend an hour or two with you. And you cry when he can't see you on Valentine's Day or on his wedding anniversary or his wife's birthday. You are always second. In the beginning, affairs are full of promise and great sex. By the end, you are always crying on the shoulders of girlfriends and wishing his wife would die.
You will not get much sympathy from us. Dating married men is dishonest and totally contrary to The Rules. We do not take what is not ours. We don't date married men because then we get a reputation for it and no one will trust us around their boyfriends or husbands.
If you have recently met a married man that you are mad about; then you must practice self-restraint. If he is everything you ever wanted in a husband, be friends with him and hope he gets divorced. Until then, you must say to yourself that a single man like him exists somewhere out there for you. Then you must get busy, go to a singles danc^ answer a personal ad or put one in a magazine ask your friends to fix you up with someone. Take action. Join a gym, a church, or synagogue or do volunteer work at a hospital. Never sit around dreaming about him or you might end up acting on your thoughts.
Dating a married man is easy because you can fantasize about his future availability. But; at the risk of sounding preachy, it bears repeating that you won't be at peace if you date a married man. Even if he leaves his wife, how do you know he'll actually marry you?
You're a Rules girl! Your life is never on the edge because of a man. Either a man is available and in love with you or he's taken and you have nothing to do with him romantically. You are not desperately waiting in the wings for his situation to change. You are not someone who waits and hopes while he takes his wife and kids to Disney World. You have a life of your own.
Lest you think we are being naive, we know that extramarital affairs happen all the time and that married men do at times divorce their wives and marry the girl they've been seeing on the side. We know one such woman who waited five years for a man to break up with his wife. They are now very happily married. She was very lucky. Are you willing to take that chance?
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