to telling your therapist everything, so it's only natural that you want to tell him or her about The Rules. We strongly suggest you don't go into great detail for the following reasons:
1. Some therapists will think that The Rules are dishonest and manipulative. They will encourage you to be open and vulnerable in your relationships with men, to talk things out; not to keep your feelings of love or hurt inside. That; of course is the basis of the therapeutic process. It's great advice for resolving issues with family and friends, but it doesn't work in to be mysterious in the beginning of a romantic relationship, not an open book.
2. Some therapists don't realize women's capacity for forcing themselves on men who don't want them and/ or trying to make relationships happen. If they only knew how we wandered around campus hoping to run into men. If they only knew about the love poetry we've sent men, the interests we've pretended to have in order to make men like us (of course that never works), and if only they knew the lengths we've gone to get friendly with men's parents so that they would make their sons propose. If any therapist knew all these things—perhaps we never told them the whole story—they too would encourage us to focus on ourselves and not force things to happen. A woman in love with a man who is not in love with her can be dangerous to herself and him. Her only hope is to do The Rules.
3. Another reason not to discuss this book with your therapist is that you don't want to debate the merits of doing or not doing The Rules, otherwise you might lose your resolve to do them. It's hard enough to do The Rules when you believe in them, it's even harder when you talk to people who are downright against them. You should also not read any books that go counter to this philosophy or preach another method, particularly books that encourage women to pursue men or express their inner child.
Self-improvement is great—we all can be better in many areas. But self-improvement still won't get you the relationship you want. You may feel "whole" and "ready" after years of inner work and wonder why you still haven't snagged Mr. Right. The reason is you're not doing The Rules! Simply bang a better person won't get you the man of your dreams. You have to do The Rules!
We suggest you try The Rules for six months before doing anything else. You can't do The Rules and something else at the same time. It just doesn't work!
If there's anything your therapist should be helping you with regarding The Rules, it's helping you develop the discipline and self-control necessary to do them!
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