ost men fall in love faster than women. They also fall out of love faster. They may want to see you two or three times a week, some even every day, in the beginning. If you give in and see them every time, eventually they get restless and irritable, and then stop calling. They seem moody a lot and say things 1 ikze, "I don't know what's wrong. I just have a lot going on right now."
To keep a man from getting too much too soon, don't see him more than once or twice a week for the first month or two. Let him think you have "other plans," that he is not the only man or interest in your life. When we hear someone say that she just met the greatest man and sees him every day, we think, "Uh oh, this isn't going to turn out so well." A woman must pace the relationship slowly. Don't expect a man to do it.
We know how painful this can be. It's only natural that when you meet a man you like who also likes you, you want to see him all the time. You want to know all about him—his favorite color, his past relationships, what he eats for breakfast, everything—almost overnight. So it's hard for you to say no when he asks you out for Saturday night; Sunday brunch, and a Monday night dinner and movie all in one breath. But, girls, you must put your foot down! Don't make seeing you so easy. Men like sports and games—football, tennis, blackjack, and poker—because they love a challenge. So be a challenge!
Remember, this Rule is not forever. After seeing him once a week for the first month, you can see him twice or three times a week during the second month, and three to four times a week in the third month. But never more than four or five times a week unless you're engaged. Men must be conditioned to feel that if they want to see you seven days a wedc they have to marry you. And until that blessed proposal occurs, you must practice saying no to extra dates even though you're dying to spend more time with him and even though you've mentally said to yourself, "This is The One."
If, for example after kissing you passionately at the end of your first or second date he says, "So what are you doing tomorrow?," summon up your sweetest voice and say, "I'm sorry. I already have plans." Stick to your ground, even if you feel intoxicated by the smell of his cologne on your neck. And, of course don't say what your plans are or include him in them.
A man who is in love with you and hopes to marry you won't be put off by the once-to-twice-a-week dating structure you set up in the beginning. We find that only men who are just with you for fun or sex are likely to get angry or impatient. Don't be fooled if these men say the kinds of things that make you believe they want to marry you. It happens all the time. It's called Standard Operating Procedu re.
On the first date such a man might point to a restaurant and say, "That's where my father proposed to my mother," leading you to think that he will propose to you there one day. Or he might talk about the future saying something like, "In the summer we can go to Connecticut and I'll take you to this great seafood place." You are naturally in heaven, thinking that this man has plotted out your lives forever. It might all be true and he may call again and ask you out. But it might be a ploy to get you into bed on the first or second date.
If you fall for his lines and see him every night that week—after all, you think he is serious about you—he might take you out a couple of times and have sex with you. But he may never call again or worse he may continue to date you, but you'll end up watching his interest fade away. (A very painful thing. Watching someone falling "out of love" is really awful!) If you follow The Rules and slow down the process, forcing him to get to know you and rectify fall in love, this will not happen.
The Rules will make you harder to get so that a man who doesn't really like you won't waste his or your time. So do yourself a favor and do The Rules. Don't see him more than once or twice a week!
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