Life, my friend, is not fair.
Instead life is one giant advert and in your case you are the creative director and subject of your own advert.
No one else is going to do it for you.
Get it right and you reap the rewards.
And such is the premise of life for the single dater. Life shouldn't be like this; people should love us for who we are and what we are. They should be able to see our hidden depths immediately and focus in on everything that we know to be good about ourselves.
But like any product in the world today, you don't know about it unless you sell it.
Self promotion begins with the basic product for sale - you. If it is no good, no one will buy into it. You may be able to fool the odd one or two but that's about it.
So the first step has to be to sort out your product and make sure it is as appealing as possible.
Whilst I get lots of comments about how one has matured and is able to look below the surface, the surface is the first thing we encounter so it needs to be presentable.
You have to remember when promoting yourself that first appearances count, however much you hate that truth. And worse still another cliché, people do judge a book by its cover.
Almost everything in our daily lives is marketed to us and its rare we get much for free (well this site being one of those rare exceptions!).
So in short, you need to go into the bathroom and strip and take a good hard look at yourself. Once you have done that go and put your best clothes on and take another long hard look.
Then be ruthless about your judgment.
You will never see yourself as others do but do be brave enough to ask closest friends what they think too.
Now at this juncture you must concentrate. You already know your good and bad points but be realistic, I know people should love you for everything you are, but lets get to that later.
First of all, what can you change about yourself that you can live with and that is possible and that will help you appeal to your chosen market. Don't sell yourself short though. You want to be appealing to as wider an audience as feasible. Then also make sure you know your market.
If you are 50 and overweight you may not appeal to 21 year olds however much you wish you did. People generally date within a 10-year date range maximum. Beyond that and you are generally in rarity territory.
Okay so you know what can be fixed and you know your market and so the next thing is to go and do something about it. Good intentions never solved anything so get on that treadmill, join that diet class, get yourself out shopping, do get your hair cut and sort out your image.
Once you have upgraded and maintained your image, your self-confidence will soar. In doing so you will believe in the product you are offering - you! If you believe in yourself you can do anything.
Positive mental attitude is the most ignored and underrated thing you can achieve. You can turn yourself around in days and weeks buy feeling good about yourself.
Okay so a few weeks down the line you have recreated your product and you have selected your market and you know it will sell so now its time to go out there and market yourself.
In the same was that faint heart never won fair lady, so staying at home in front of the TV never won anyone. Unless you talk to as many people as possible and socialize and join clubs and attend social functions and parties and events you won't meet people.
If you don't meet people you won't be able to make impressions on them and allow them to see what you have to offer. Marketing and self promotion isn't just about image, its a numbers game.
The more people you meet, the more chance you will encounter someone who wants your product - you!
You will find it easier to approach people because you believe in yourself and the more people you meet who express an interest so the more you will feel good.
It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Keep at it and you will never look back. But whilst being sociable and meeting people keep in mind that your self-promotion plan has a goal.
That goal may be a new relationship.
It may be many dates, it may be company or it may even be marriage and children.
But whatever it is, part of your overall promotion plan must be to set attainable goals and then go after them. Everything in life takes time and effort to achieve.
I know to all of us, some people appear to have it all, but apart from looks which we can't control, the difference between us all is largely down to pure effort. Talents don't mean much unless we use them.
These are some common traits in successful, well-liked people:
• They are reliable
• They make people feel good
• They have a good sense of humor
• They are organized
• They are confident
• They have direction
• They are good listeners and can assist
• They have goals and ambition
• They are dynamic and spontaneous
And remember that if things do take time, your life has already changed for the better and you are well on your way to meeting the person of your dreams.
I am sorry to suggest that we view ourselves using the language of commerce as it is somewhat tasteless but it is a simple truth about our modern society.
Learn from the world about you to make yourself the most attractive you can be.
When you promote yourself to people when dating try and do the following to assist you in being a successful dater:
• Be nice to all the people you meet
• Meet as many people as you can
• Learn to be sociable and willing
• Learn to smile at people naturally
• Be kind and considerate and generous
• Learn to listen and be open minded
• Lean to like yourself
• Change the things you don't like about yourself
• Give yourself a makeover and be ruthless if necessary
• Don't stay indoors unless necessary
• Learn about what makes people popular and copy their methods
• Try to be happy and content with who you are as a person
• Remove negative aspects and influences in your life permanently
• Set attainable goals for yourself
• Have a mental image of how you see yourself in 3 years time and work towards it every day
• Don't suffer fools gladly though. You are not a fool either.
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