Day One

Negative Self Deception Habits

Doing something and not being aware that you're doing It leads to the perception that it's not happening, you're not doing it, and If you did do it, you didn't mean to do It so Its not your fault

If you're getting a "secondary payoff" from this particular habit pattern, then the chances are that you will both keep doing It and keep repressing It are strong

The place to start Is these "major" areas of self deception that are habitual, recurring, and more "obvious"

One might be making an excuse for not starting a conversation with a woman you'd like to talk to

Another might be not cleaning up and preparing yourself to meet women before you leave the house because you're probably not going to meet any women anyway

Another might be not Improving an area of your life because It SHOULDN'T matter to the type of woman you want to meet anyway... and you don't want a woman that cares about that thing because It would mean she's shallow

© <% Idealizing Women As Self Deception

• One recurring theme with men Is their pattern of Idealizing women, projecting positive qualities onto them that they repress In themselves, deceiving themselves about her flaws, then becoming emotionally involved with a woman and using her to fill In holes In their own character

• Of course, the women always wind up being more Imperfect than the man could have Imagined, the Image that the man had turns out to be completely Inaccurate, and he ultimately winds up hurting himself badly (and often the woman as well)

• Part of this recurring theme Is the part of us as men that want to rescue women who are In trouble, are damaged, or are broken

• Unfortunately, trying to rescue a woman who you've idealized before hand is almost certainly a losing battle

• You must first become brutally honest with yourself, then learn to see women more accurately, and then choose your relationships carefully based on a more mature foundation of knowledge and understanding

Avoidance And Self-Medication


• We humans are incredibly good at avoiding even the THOUGHT of things that we don't want to face

• When we do have to face things that make us uncomfortable, we can go to great lengths to "tune out" and "numb" ourselves so we don't feel their effects

• One way we deal with issues we don't want to confront is called "Self Medicating"

• We self medicate with:

- Food

- Sex

- Fantasy

- Sympathy From others

- Guilt From others

- Attention From Others

* More ->

Avoidance And Self-Medication

• Complaining

• Dissociation From Responsibility (interesting concept)

• Avoidance

• The reality is that it's usually easier to deal with the actual issue than it is to deal with the negative psychological, emotional, and physical patterns that we use to avoid

• Deal with the underlying issue, arid be aware when you're medicating yourself


Seminar Slides

Day One

Seminar Notes


Addiction is the Shadow side of habit

Here are a few commonly known and uncommonly known addictions...

Addiction To Struggle

Addiction To Ideal

Addiction To Projection

Addiction To Story

Addiction To Self Image

Physical Addiction (to a substance, physical pleasure)

Emotional Addiction (to love, or the desire for love... missing someone)

Psychological Addiction (to a thought, ideal, image.,. CONTENT)

The Difference Between Imagined Feeling And Actual Feeling

• I'm fascinated by the concept of the difference between the way you THINK you should feel when something happens and the WAY you feel about something when the event ACTUALLY happens

• Have you ever made yourself sick by worrying about a future event, only to experience it and wind up saying "That wasn't bad at all"?

• Have you ever had something great happen in your life that you've waited years for it to happen... only to be disappointed when it was real?

• Have you ever watched someone make a mistake or lose, and you felt GOOD about it... you enjoyed watching them in pain?


Continue reading here: Day One

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