Encouraging Independence In Others
• One way to strengthen your Inner-self and to move your locus of control Inside Is to constantly encourage Independence In OTHERS
• When you encourage someone else to be Independent, you are subtly communicating to yourself and the other person that YOU are an Independent person (a dependent person would never encourage someone else to do something Independent for fear of that person leaving them)
• Most men feel very clingy, needy, and dependent on women for personal affirmation, validation, attention, etc.
• The Idea of constantly encouraging women to be Independent has never crossed the minds of most men
• When you teil a woman to be more Independent, you make yourself more attractive - your encouragement Is undeniably valuable - but In a way that positions you as a strong leader that others want to be around
The Weapons Of Influence - A New Twist
Robert Claldlnl wrote a fascinating book called "Influence". In this book he describes six major "weapons of Influence" (and three minor weapons as well). By understanding these "weapons" you can begin to see how others Influence you, and begin to take control of your life In a more effective way
These weapons have Incredible power, because humans are automatically Influence by them - we feel like we're the one making the decision, so we're totally committed to It
• Commitment and Consistency
• Social Proof
• Because, Surprise, Contrast
• Because, Surprise, Contrast
■ The psychological concept "Instant Gratification" refers to the idea that humans like to have what they want RIGHT NOW - they don't want to wait
• You'll notice that products and services that promise "instant push-button results" tend to do well (think aspirin for pain and McDonald's for fast food)
• Humans are most likely short-term and instant gratification oriented because if you value results now, you stay alive -it's an evolutionary advantage that played out over millions of years, and was very valuable when we were living in different times
• The challenge is that most of us don't have to face life or death situations, seek food and shelter and defend our territory every day
■ This creates quite a challenge: Now that you don't need to work all day every day to survive, what do you do with all the free time?
• The most obvious evidence of this hard-wired internal mechanism is the way humans use CREDIT when they have access to it
• As a general rule, if a person has access to money, they spend it - no matter what the future cost or implications
• We mortgage the future for instant gratification, and lower our overall quality of life in the process
• In this new context, the kinds of results that we desire (like financial and relationship success) are most effectively created over longer time-frames
• Since humans are wired to delay gratification and think in longer time-frames, we usually sabotage our own success at one point or another by contaminating our plan with short-term thinking
• It's critically important that you iearn to think in time frames of a year or more, then put in a concerted effort every day in pursuit of your objective
• You're going to live the rest of your life in the future, so make your future great now
Shifting To Longer Time Frames
• Almost every great achievement has been created by many years of concerted effort - so how does one shift your hard-wired instant gratification oriented mind, body, and emotions to a long-term "setting"?
• It begins with understanding the inner mechanisms that trigger short-term thinking and behavior, becoming aware of them in yourself, and consciously changing them over time - and replacing them with better HABITS of thought, emotion, and behavior
Continue reading here: Day One
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