Day One

The Victim

A victim is someone who feels that others are in control of their lives and destinies

A victim takes the position "Others are hurting me, and I can't do anything about it"

Victims tend to use their unfortunate situations to get pity and attention from others

Victims tend to not take personal responsibility for their own lives and situations

Victims often use unfortunate past events to attempt to make others feel bad for them

Victims often dramatize their stories in order to maximize the attention and pity that they get

Victims tend not to notice that their attitude does not bring healthy, successful people closer to them... that, rather, it drives them and keeps them away

The "Nice Guy"

The "Nice Guy" is someone who believes that he should go out of his way to always be sweet, nice, generous, and understanding... no matter what the circumstances

Nice guys don't draw boundaries, they don't stand up for themselves, and they don't say "no" very often

Usually Nice Guys harbor a secret belief: That they're better than everyone else because they're so "nice"

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth... when you're being nice In order to get something back, you're being manipulative

Secondary Payoffs Of Being A "Nice Guy":

Get to feel better than other guys

Get to do things you feel "owed" for

Get that selfish good feeling of doing "nice things"

The " Yes But She's Different" Wussy

• I have watched one man after another screw up their cJiances with attractive women - and screw up their long-term relationships with attractive women - because they just reused to integrate the "Don't Be A Wussy" mindset

• These were sharp, intelligent guys... in many cases they were men who were very good with women... but they always found ways to convince themselves that the particular woman they were dealing with was DIFFERENT

• I can't help but confront my guy friends when I see them potentially screwing up their chances with a girl (or a girlfriend, or even a wife).,. and they always give me that same shoulder shrug with the "Yea, you're probably right" look

• There's usually some comment about "this girl is really special" or "I think that this one is different"... and it always ends up the same way

• When you let your Inner WussBag out to roam freely, only bad things will happen

• Don't say I didn't warn you about this one

The "I Want Her To Like Me For Me" Wussy

* Many guys I know (some that have been good friends for many years) will argue wilh me tooth and nail about my concepts

' The basic argument is that they donl like the idea that Ihey need to "learn" my "techniques" in order to meet a woman

■ They typically have an idealistic fantasy of meeting a woman who just falls for them and loves Ihem for who they are... without Ihem having to actually DO anything

* Most of these guys go months and months without dates, which isn't at all surprising

■ The common ending to this story Is that they meet a girl that they think is all kinds of fun... and she realizes alter not too long that she's dealing with a Wussy who wants to kiss her ass and be Mr. Super Nice Guy... and she hits Ihe road or makes his life hetl

The "I'm Hung Up On This One Special Girl" Wussy

If there's one question I get so often that I wish I had a Tazer Stun Gun to use on guys who ask it... it's the 'There's this one special girl, and I have GOT to have her,., how do I get her?" question

What's funny is that I often get emails that start with "I've been using these techniques to meet and date some amazing women,,. right now I'm dating two models and a lifeguard..." and then they drop the bomb... "But there's this ONE SPECIAL GIRL that I really want... and I have to have her"

The only thing that this obsession says about you is that you're secretly a WORLD-CLASS WUSSBAG

If you really like a girl, fine... but don't get obsessed with her -it's a Wussy move

Center Yourself

Stand up straight, balancing perfectly on your spine

Three deep breaths, slowly taking control of your body and life

Relax your shoulders, stomach, Jaw, and forehead as you exhale each time

Look up and to the center, open and notice the edges of your peripheral vision

Inhale slowly, and notice both the feeling of air rushing Into your nose, and your stomach expanding and contracting at the same time

Pay attention to your vision, the air rushing Into your nose, and your stomach moving at the same time... maintain that attention to quiet your mind

As you exhale, release emotional tension, anxiety, pressure, and III feelings toward yourself or others

In your Imagination, open up your chest and your heart, allow that opening to envelop everything and everyone around you

Getting Leverage On Yourself

• In any situation, there is a place that you can use LEVERAGE to get magnified results

• The keys to using leverage effectively are to always look for it, understand it, and have the balls to use it when necessary

■ Tony Robbins has done a lot of work on this topic... and I recommend that you read his books

- List 10 things that you REALLY don't like doing, then make a deal with a friend that you're going to do one of those things If you don't accomplish a certain task by a certain time

- Think of something you have wanted for a long time, then commit to buying It or getting It for yourself If you put in an hour a day at something for one hundred days In a row


Getting Leverage On Yourself

• Tell five people that are close to you that you're going to do something, and if you don't accomplish it you're going to give each of them a hundred dollars in cash - so they make sure and ask you

• Hire a personal coach to keep you accountable. Send your coach a list of the things you want to accomplish, then break each up into smaller tasks and have your coach ask you for personal commitments. Have regular meetings with your coach, and have your coach ask you point-blank questions about whether or not you're keeping your word

• Spend some time thinking about what NATURALLY motivates you (both positively and negatively) and then use those things as tools to get leverage on yourself

• One more way to get MASSIVE leverage on yourself is to understand and use what is called "Logical Levels"...


% % Logical Levels

• Gregory Bateson and later Robert DiIts and others have discussed the concept of "Logical Levels'" or "Logical Types"

• The basic concept is that there are different levels of context and meaning in brain structure and perceptual systems, and if you can put these levels into a useful and meaningful structure, you can accomplish amazing things for yourself and others

• Spirit/Physics

• Identity


Logical Levels






Each of the "higher" levels acts as a context around all levels below it

Changing something at a higher level automatically changes ail the levels below it

Changing something at a lower level can change a higher level, but doesn't always


Examples Of Working With Logical Levels

• Let's take three levels as an example,.. Identity, Skills, and Situations

• For our example, let's say that we have a man who Is forty years old, recently divorced, and has been out of the "dating game" for twenty years

• He has decided that It's time to get back Into the game, meet some women, and get some dates

• If he were to work on "Situations" he might spend time trying to figure out where he should GO to meet women

• If he were to work on "Skills" he might spend time every day starting conversations with women so he could become comfortable Introducing himself

• If he were to work on "Identity" he might spend time hanging around guys who were naturally good at meeting women and doing exercises to cultivate a strong self Image of a man who has so many women around him that he doesn't have time for them all

■ If he could only choose one, which one would be the best place to focus his energy and why?

Continue reading here: Day One

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