Day One

The Difference Between Imagined Feeling And Actual Feeling

• Have you ever watched someone win a great prize, receive a great gift, or win a competition... but you hated it and them?

• It's important not to get too attached to the idea of how something is going to feel when it happens, because it doesn't usually feel the way you think it will feel

• Knowing this allows you to act with more restraint, purpose, and wisdom

• Ignoring this reality and not reminding yourself of it constantly will only lead you to continue chasing after imaginary good feelings that will probably never materialize... or worse, worrying about bad things that will happen in a future that ruin that future before it arrives

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"Realistic" and "Pragmatic" Thinking

• Men often use the labels "realistic" and "pragmatic" to describe a mode of thinking that I'll label as "negative"

• People who succeed in life to the greatest degree typically have "unrealistic" and "overly optimistic" thinking patterns

• People who are depressed and suicidal typically have the "most accurate" perceptions and outlooks on reality

• If you want to succeed with women, it's time to get away from trying to be overly "realistic" and "pragmatic"

• Think big, and you'll be more likely to achieve

Seminar Slides Day One Seminar Notes

Hubris And Humility

• There is a story In Greek mythology about a man who crested wings far his son Icarus, then watched his son die as a result.

• learus's father constructed two pairs of wings - one For himself, and one for Icarus - from feathers and wax thread. They needed the wings to escape from a prison where they were being held,

• Overcome with the understandable confidence that must have come from being able to fly, Icarus Ignored his father's specific and strict Instructions, and he flew too close to the sun. The sun melted the wax thread that held his wings together, and he fell to his death. This combination of overconfidence, blindness caused by success, and unconsciously ignoring important fcodback end available information is called HUBRIS.

• HUBRIS; Pride, presumptuousness, arrogance. The kind of overconfidence that leads to a fall. A blind faith in oneself that leads to ignoring important feedback or available information, and unknowingly walking right into and causing massive failure.

• I've found that hubris is a leading cause of failure for men in the dating world, Many men believe that they are too smart to seek the help of, and learn from a guy who's less intelligent than them (but who's also more successful with women)...

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Hubris And Humility

■ ...Many men believe that the concepts we're talking about here don't apply to them, because eventually they'll meet the ideal woman and she'll see no need for this stuff... instead choosing to spontaneously fall in love. Many men believe that they don't need to actually PRACTICE and PREPARE before using the things they're learning, because they think that "understanding something" is the same as being able to "execute something" perfectly

• Don't buy this line of thinking. Put aside your pride. Put aside your over-confidence. Put aside your hubris. Every time you prepare to improve, approach your skills as a beginner. Open your mind, and try to see new things. Become curious. Ask stupid questions

• Learn to see the clues that hubris is staring within you. Teach the concept to others around you, and ask close friends to let you know when you're getting out of control. Create a system for yourself of centering, reevaluating, and resetting your inner systems when you suspect that you might be becoming overconfident in an unhealthy way

• The folly of hubris is typically difficult for a person to see in themselves... but easy for everyone else around them to see clearly. Hubris leads not only to failure, but also to ridicule both BEFORE, and AFTER failure. It leads to people wanting you to fail, and hating you for success. Find that "sweet spot" between neutral and confident that leads to consistent improvement, and then do whatever you have to in order to stay there

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Blind Self-indulgent Humility

• The opposite of Hubris is what I call Blind Self-Indulgent Humility

• Blind Self-Indulgent Humility: The habitual, neurotic compulsion to give others control, avoid all confrontation, avoid upsetting others and take all negative communications and events personally

• Blind SelF-Indulgent Humility:

- stems from a weak self-image or distorted belief system

- Allows the person to reel superior to others while damaging themselves

• Symptoms that you might have too much of it:

• You avoid all conflict, or approach sensitive situations by apologizing

• You think that you're responsible for everything that goes wrong, and you accept responsibility publicly before even considering things

• You secretly feel better than others when you're humble, and you harbor negativity to people who are confident and strong

• Visual of the "sweet spot" between Hubris and Blind Self-indulgent Humility

Getting It In Your Head

• Too many guys (myself Included) want to learn everything Instead of DOING to learn

• When they have challenges getting started, they default to LEARN MORE before doing - which Is often a way of "creatively avoiding"

• They think "I have to work through everything In my mind before I can act"

• Knowledge - books, seminars

• Experience - doing, testing

• In most situations you have enough knowledge to go and apply some of It in order to leam from actual experience

• If you only rely on the "Informational" way of learning, you'll limit your success by probably 95%

• A good model: Plan-Do-Study-Act

The Psychology Of The Wussy

• The Wussy Is the ultimate archetype or personification of the combination of traits that add up to a man that women don't feet attraction for

• The word is a combination of the words "wimp" and "pussy"

• A Wussy has a combination of low self esteem and a feeling of not deserving success

• You can try your hardest, focus all of your energy, and do everything In your power to make a woman like you... but all of your effort actually works against you, and Instead makes a woman feel repelled by you

• The Wussy tries his hardest to be sweet, nice, understanding, and accommodating... but In the end all he has to show for it is another woman he loves who isn't talking to him Here are some of the elements that combine to create a Wussy, Avoid them...

Seeking Approval Or Validation

"Approval Seeking" or "Seeking Validation" basically comes down to the approval seeker trying to accomplish tne following:

Get others to like, approve of, and validate them, their actions and their behaviors

Do what others want or would want them to do

Please others and make others happy

Not have anyone become mad, upset, or disappointed with them

Not cause conflict, anger, or fear in others

Not experience any negative emotions themselves

Continue reading here: Day One

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