The Human Shadow
• Carl Jung coined the term "The Shadow* to describe a particular aspect of ourselves that Is almost entirely unconscious
• As the name suggests, this part of our Inner selves can be a dark, elusive, frightening thing
• As we grow up, we are confronted by parents and other authority figures who tell us that certain things are "bad" or 'wrong* and that WE are bad or wrong for even THINKING those things
• As we develop, we repress these important aspects of ourselves and put them "into the shadow"
• We can only become aware of our own shadow by watching carefully for it, then taking advantage of the fleeting moments when It sneaks up and rattles our world - The Shadow can only be seen by looking at its own shadow
• A moment of Intense Irrational anger... or a murderous thought... a feeling of envy about someone we want to be like... are all dues that your Shadow is active
• Carl Jung said that The Shadow is where your personal gold Is... ifs the place where your greatest treasure waits for you
• As you get to know your Shadow, Ifs Important to embrace, welcome, and Integrate it., only by including it will you be able to transcend it
• Every virtue has a dark side, especially when taken to an extreme
• Every strength can turn into a weakness
• Confidence can become overconfidence and then Hubris
• Hard work can become an addiction, leading to "workaholism"
• Don't take any strength too far... or it will turn to its opposite and possibly destroy you
The Bright Side Of Eveiything
• Just like everything can have a dark side, every negative thing has a bright side
• Arrogance can be toned down and turned into strong confidence
• Liars are often fantastic at building rapport with people and persuading
• A child that starts out breaking everything by taking it apart often grows up knowing how to fix anything
• But use good judgment... too many people ONLY see the good in others, and ironically allow this Shadow trait to harm themselves over and over
The Two Sides Of Winning In The Shadow
• Does it bother you when another guy gets a girl that you wanted?
• Do you like the idea of taking a woman from another guy?
• Which would you enjoy more... getting a girl that you wanted but no other guys seemed to want... or getting a girl that you know every other guy wanted... and a girl that would make every other guy jealous?
• Is it enough to win by getting what you want... or do you feel the need to win by beating other guys and getting the thing that THEY want?
The Shadow Side Of Self Awareness
• Self awareness is a double-edged miracle sword
• Being aware of yourself allows you to see things you need to improve, see the progress you're making, etc,
• But it also allows you to feel "self conscious", and insecure because you don't "measure up"
• When you compare yourself to others, it can be very negative, or very positive... depending on how you do it
• It's important to use your self awareness to constantly work toward evolving yourself and getting what you want, and not to put yourself down, beat yourself up, or make yourself feel like less than others
Other Shadow Levels
• I've found that there are different levels to the concept of The Shadow
• Some are psychological, some are biological, some are physical, and some are social
• This is a complex topic, as all levels interact with each other... but becoming aware of the levels creates its own kind of energy toward understanding and integrating them
Befriending Your Shadow
• Think of the last three times you had a strong, instant, overpowering emotional response to something that took over your mind and body
• Think of the three things in life you fear most, and how you respond when confronted with them
• Think of those things you desire more than anything, and the reasons you desire them
• Recognize these elements as parts of your own unconscious mind that you're not integrating into yourself, and commit to integrating them in the future
The "Finding Your Own Gold"
• Make a list of the three people you admire most in life
• Next, write down three things about each person that you really admire
• Now make a list of the three people you disrespect most or hate most in life
• Finally, write down three things about each of those people you disrespect or dislike most
Our bodies, minds, and emotions are an active part of how we perceive the world and the meaning we make of the events around us - there isn't an "objective reality" that "everyone can agree on"
Most of our perceptive ability Is actually PROGRAMMING that Is LEARNED... not the objective, accurate, perfect set of equipment we think of It as
A loud bang outside will be perceived as a car backfiring by one person, a car accident by another, and a gunshot by another - all projections
You can only perceive something relative to what is already programmed In your mind - this Is why we often see things that arent there, and miss things that are - because our minds are playing an active role In their "being there"
Projection comes up often In relationships between men and women -we often project our own negative aspects onto people we dislike and we project our own positive qualities onto those we are attracted to
This leads to many problems, as we're not recognizing our own "dark side" or seeing our own "light side" when we do this
Carl Jung: Perception Is projection
Shadow And Projection Exercise
• Read the list of people you don't admire, and the traits you disrespect most about them. Think about YOURSELF, and review these things in your mind, realizing that these are, to same degree, aspects of yourself that you previously didn't want to accept, acknowledge, or admit to yourself or others. As you think about yourself, allow your body and mind to relax, and make a personal commitment to begin working with these areas of yourself more, instead of only projecting them onto others
• Find one person to do the next part of this exercise with, all the better if you don't know the person you're getting to work with you. I want you to" sit across from them, and:
• 1) Confidently tell them about three of your strengths.,, the strengths that you've projected onto others and haven't acknowledged in yourself, but that you're now going to lead with, develop, and acknowledge in the future as use more as the basis for your own success
• 2) Authentically and directly tell them about three of the repressed, dark traits you have that you have been projecting onto others
« The story of the farmer who broke his plow, and of using personal challenges, emotional triggers, and shadow issues as the guiding path to your own "Personal Gold"
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