About Confidence

If you want to go to the extra effort to cultivate actual CONFIDENCE, then you need to realize something: Confidence isn't a THING, it's a SKILL and a complex emotional/physical state that can be learned, which can then be transferred into an unconscious state and state of mind.

But there is another side to things...

WATCH OUT with confidence, because humans that become confident often become intoxicated with their new-found power, and they over-use or even abuse it. Overconfidence leads to real arrogance... and to the dark side. So if you're going to learn how to be confident, learn how to do it in a way that respects other people, not in a way that turns them into objects for you to manipulate.

As you learn these skills, don't get addicted to your own power and let it turn you into a manipulator.

GETTING PAST INSECURITY So how do you go about getting past insecurity? Great questions... and I have an exercise for you to use:

1) Go out and talk to 100 women over the next 30 days, and keep a record of everything that happens. Talk to 3 new women every day for 30 days.

2) DON'T make any attempts to pursue these women in a romantic way. In fact, make sure you approach each situation with the idea that you are NOT going to have any interactions with the woman ever again.

3) Your only objective when talking to one of these 100 women is to MAKE THEM SMILE. A good friend of mine who goes by the nickname of "Orion" taught me this. Your goal is to give each woman the gift of a smile.

4) After making 100 women smile WITHOUT THE POSSIBLITY THAT ANYTHING ELSE CAN COME IF IT, you will begin to realize that you DO have something to offer a woman who doesn't know you, and you'll see evidence that you can give it to her.

5) Keep a journal of all 100 interactions, so you can see your progress.

EXTRA CREDIT:

Write me an email at: [email protected] and tell me about your journey. I want to hear your story.

Of course, there are a lot of other things you can do to eliminate your insecurity. Self-Image exercises, real-world drills, visualization and affirmation, mentors, and all kinds of other great options are out there.

In my eBook "Double Your Dating" I teach some of my own personal Self-Image exercises and other techniques for eliminating insecurity. In fact, Chapter 2 is all about the "inner game" and learning how to overcome some of these issues. If you haven't downloaded your copy yet, just go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

...and get it now. (Of course, it's also jam packed with techniques for meeting and dating women!)

And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

THE MAILBAG: GREAT TECHNIQUES FOR MEETING WOMEN ***QUESTION***

Dear David

First of all, although you've probably heard it a million times - thanks for your work. It's really great stuff. I have a question for you: Why is it that women like dancing in night clubs, and many men don't? Is it important that a guy should be able to dance even if lets say I don't like dancing. How can one practice C+F attitude (which I love and I know works) if everyone has had a lot to drink and it's so damn noisy & crowded & it's impossible to have a conversation with a woman? Also is it true that if you are able to dance well, that women will be attracted to you?

I myself hate dancing, but every attractive woman I have dated loved dancing, some of them I think even dancing provocatively to make me jealous. The strange thing is that I have also noticed my mates that can dance don't particularly get anymore success with women in night clubs than I do. My female friends tell me that I must learn to dance, but for what as I don't enjoy it and my mate's that do don't get lucky.

So please can you explain what it is about dancing that women like, and is it worth becoming a good and confident dancer in order to get more dates with women and succeed once on those dates.

Thanks in advance. A.

A British fan

OK, sounds like you have two different issues that you're dealing with:

1) To dance or not to dance.

2) The noise and crowds of nightclubs.

Interestingly, my perspective is that the answer to both questions is basically the same...

There are some guys that like to go out to nightclubs to pick up women to take home THAT NIGHT.

Now, most of the guys I know who go out with this objective don't actually wind up "bringing home babes" as often as they'd like. In other words, unless this your sole objective, and you're an ABSOLUTE PRO, then you might start thinking about this situation differently.

When I go out to a club with the idea of meeting women, my main objective to get emails and phone numbers. That's it.

You can start a quick interchange with a woman, get her email and number, and be done with the whole thing in about 3 or 5 minutes. You can do this all night and wind up with information from 5 or more women each night you go out.

The interesting thing is that you don't actually have to even use Cocky and Funny very much if this is your plan. You can save it for get-togethers over tea, or phone conversations.

Of course, if you can use your Cocky and Funny attitude, all the better. But if you're dealing with noise and crowds, where you may not even be heard, just get the info!

And as for dancing, if you're getting her info in the first few minutes, then you won't have to dance, buy her a drink, or get into a long conversation that you can't understand. Getting emails and numbers quickly is usually the best way to go in these situations.

Hey Dave, I was just curious, i'm an average man who tells jokes like crazy to girls, I make tons of people laugh and friends with everyone. I can talk to a girl in a second but some are harder then others, How do you get real secrets out of them, and know what some deep things are about em. So I am asking when I go up and make fun of them teasing and being cocky, what are some more things I should say to get the conversation rolling and want them to talk to me even more. If I get a conversation its easy to tell a little joke here and there.so what are some easy ways to just to get an very high interesting topic to talk to them about?

Thanks D

First of all, why do you want to know "deep" things about a girl you've just met? And why do you want to get "real secrets" about her?

Read my last comments above... just get the info!

You can follow up later, and if you want to know "secrets" and "deep things", you can work on that later.

By the way, secrets and deep things are best not discussed early on, unless you're trying to get into a relationship in 5 minutes.

I just wanted to let you know you information is the best material I ever decided to invest in. I know you told people that you have tried everything and these techniques work best, so let me make a comment to any of the skeptics out there. I have personally invested money in material which discussed being touchy feely and complementing women as many times as you can on a first date while making lots of cheesy smiles to show attraction. I've also purchased book & tape packages which told me to touch women in various places while in clubs talking to them, to get them aroused (I am surprised I didn't get a drink thrown in my face!), I memorized paragraphs (literally) of things to say when out with women(once a women told me I seemed false) and NONE of these get the reaction I get from using the material in your book. Oddly enough the only reason I didn't want to get the double your dating material in the beginning is because it wasn't as expensive as the other BS material I wasted so much money on, so I figured it can't be as good. I am in grad school right now and I realized after reading your newsletters(which had questions from the rich to average) that making good money was not going to give me success with women, and besides I don't want anyone putting me in the long-term lover withhold sex category explained in your book anyway.

Since I have been using your techniques I have been seeing a women that is very attractive and used to date a pro athlete. She just told me recently (without me asking of course) that the reason she felt so attracted to me was my care free, take no crap off her attitude I developed from your book. She tried to throw a tantrum when we were leaving a club wanting me to chase her, so I laughed and told her "when you think you can control your alcohol maybe you can regain your privileges of talking to me again!" then I walked off grinning (love it!). She explained to me later that she was putting me through a series of test and I was doing things that other guys just didn't do (by the way she called ME first thing the next morning to apologize.) She told me the others just kiss her ass and try to make her happy. Now I just reread your book so I remember not to become one of them.

This brings me to my question. I know you don't specialize in the long term stuff but I would like your opinion. Her birthday is coming up and I wanted to know what would be something special I can do without over doing it. Fathers day just passed (I have a daughter not from her)and she got me a designer shirt, so I don't want to do anything lame either. Can you help me.

Thanks, N.

Texas

It's not often that an attractive woman will actually TELL you explicitly that she's testing you. You have a gal there that is unusually open.

I included your email because it's a great example of how women test men. Most guys FAIL MISERABLY when tested, and they lose the girl in the process. It's sad, but true.

When a woman tests a man, it's like a blind psychological experiment. She's doing the testing, but she knows that she can't TELL you what's going on, because then you'll know it's a test and not respond authentically.

How else could she find out the TRUE nature of your character? How else could she find out if you're actually a strong-willed man with inner power, or just another actor playing pretend in order to conceal the INNER WUSS?

Think about it.

Women typically love SURPRISES and THOUGHTFUL expressions of your feelings. As you know, I don't like to comment on the relationship stages, but if you want to make her see you as different from other guys, plan a few thoughtful surprises for her. Think about experiences that she's always wanted to have, or things she really likes, then combine together to create a time she won't forget.

It doesn't take money to do this, and it's actually better if you DON'T spend a lot.

Remember, what I'm talking about here is to be used when you know a woman and have been dating her for at least a little while. This is the kind of thing that has the word "relationship" all over it, and you don't want to do things like this too soon, or you run the risk of coming across the wrong way.

[As a side note: I want to re-affirm that even though I choose not to comment on the "relationship" stage very often, that doesn't mean that I don't like relationships or have a problem with the idea. I think that a great relationship with a great woman can be one of the best experiences in life... But I also think that to attract a really amazing woman you need to know what you're doing. And that's what I focus on: How to be more successful with women and DATING - not women and RELATIONSHIPS.]

Well I got a question here. I have a great resource to meet women, but I am unsure on how to go about milking it.

I work at a children's museum. Occasionally a group of some kind would come in, kids camp, YMCA, etc. Well usually with these groups there are quite a few women my age. They are usually supervising the children they bring in.

Last time a group came in some women made a point to kino. Some would brush against me when they walked passed me even when there was a lot of room on either side of me. Or if I was in the way they would touch my back rather than say something. This happens more than often to be a coincidence.

I have no idea how I should milk this resource. I am friggin stumped.

Well, if I were you, I think I'd sit down and make a list of all the kinds of conversations that you could possibly get into with these women, then create Cocky and Funny lines for each. Finally, come up with some great ways to get emails and numbers.

You might say:

"Where did you find time to have all these children?"

...or some other line hinting that these are her own children.

Then, after a little banter, say:

"You know, I don't usually date women that already have 27 kids, but give me your email, and maybe we can talk about it."

You have all kinds of great options. Just think of some great things to say!

I was in a VERY noisy club the other night in Cabo San Lucas (I'm on vacation) and spotted this babe dancing alone away from the crowd. I approached her with your, "Hi! I noticed you over here and thought I'd take a sec to find out what you might be like... are you friendly?" with a cocky sort of smile. She warmed up instantly and conversation flowed into an eventual makeout session there in the club. It was the first of three successes I've had in one week... more than I typically had in 6 months before reading your book... so Muchos Gracias!

However, I want to get REALLY good at the Cocky & Funny (C&F) thing and hone that skill so I come across that way in ALL of my interactions with women (not just when I happen to be "on"). Can you recommend some drills/exercises or some kind of action plan to RAPIDLY hone this skill in the next couple months? How did you develop it?

Thanks,

Online Dating The Easy Way

Online Dating The Easy Way

Online dating is not all fun and games and there are a lot of things that a person has to know about online dating before one gets into the intricacies of it. Online dating may seem to be the simplest thing in the world but it is not. It should be viewed in all earnestness or things could go haywire. Every game has its rules and unless you know all the rules you just cant become a good player and eventually a winner.

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