Attraction Attraction Attraction

OK, so what are some of the things that make women FEEL that GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION?

More importantly, how can us guys do some of these things to make women feel attracted to US without having to be abusive jerks?

My answer is to learn about how the "Attractive Jerk" personality acts, but leave out the ABUSIVE aspects... and mix in a few other surprises to make an irresistible combination.

Here's an example:

Women are attracted to men who aren't easy to pin down, who are busy with their lives, and who they have to work to get and keep the attention of.

It's hard to get a Jerk's attention because he's so consumed with himself. He's busy being selfish, so it's just natural that a woman will find it hard to get his attention.

If you want to use this psychology to your advantage, you can do things like:

1) Talk about times you're busy before talking about times you're available.

Example: You're talking on the phone and making plans to get together. Most guys will say something like "How about tomorrow at 3?" The smart guy will say "Let's see, I'm busy tomorrow morning and the next day. And I'm going out of town this weekend... But I can do it tomorrow at 3."

See the difference? It may not sound like much, but when you start saying things like "Well, I'm busy at this time...

and I'm busy at that time... etc." the person listening starts to unconsciously think "Uh oh, it sounds like they're busy... I wonder if they're going to have time for me..."

2) Leave her alone once in awhile when you're out together.

Example: You're out together at a store window shopping. Most guys will stick right along side of the girl that they're with the entire time. Instead, walk away from her into a different part of the store once in awhile and let her come find you.

Again, see the difference? At a subtle level, walking away from a woman communicates "I'm confident and independent. I do what I want with my life, and I don't need to stay right next to you every second to get your approval."

In the two above situations, a Jerk might do these things anyway, but it's always from a SELFISH, OFTEN ABUSIVE place inside.

It's funny to me, because Jerks attract women by accident. By acting like Jerks, they often naturally attract women, then say "Hey, cool. I can act like a Jerk and women love it."

Unfortunately, acting like a nice, sensitive guys usually won't lead to women falling all over you... so you don't have that same experience of figuring out what works early on by "accident."

If you want to learn dozens of other ideas to make women feel that ILLOGICAL GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION, then I would highly recommend that you download your copy of my online book "Double Your Dating." You'll learn the secrets that have taken me YEARS to figure out, all in an easy, simple format that anyone can use to attract women. Just go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

now and download your copy.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend, David D.

DATING TIP: RIGHT AFTER YOU GET HER NUMBER DATING TIP: What To Do RIGHT AFTER You Get Her Email Address And/Or Phone Number

And as a quick note, I have to say that I love the emails that I get that say things like "Please don't print this in your newsletter... but send me a detailed answer as soon as you can" and "I'm upset because you didn't email me back with free advice". lol... I have hundreds of emails in my [email protected] inbox from just the last couple of weeks. So if you're upset that you're not getting a reply, please get over it. And don't expect to hear back from me if you say things like "Please don't print this in your newsletter", because my newsletter is the vehicle I use to respond to questions. Duh. You can't even give away free advice these days without someone whining...

Onward.

>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: The Guy in the bar Story...

"Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got the waitress' phone number?"

This is "Ultra Extra Important" you said. I think I know why he should have left, he was probably starring at her all night and she was turned off by it, but give me your complete insight on why he should have left immediately after getting her e-mail.

Thanks, R.

As I said in the newsletter you quoted above, this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this point is part of understanding the dynamic called ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let's talk about the underlying process that creates ATTTRACTION...

1. ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.

ATTRACTION is natures way of taking over our minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we mate with someone with the best possible genes.

2. ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it isn't created by things that "should" create it. Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when you first meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get their approval are examples of "logical" thing that SHOULD create attraction... but don't.

When you understand how attraction works, you begin to see that it has a logic all its own.

3. Women aren't attracted to guys who act like needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to go out of their way to be overly "nice", it usually backfires. Women run from wussy men.

4. Unfortunately, many guys are mentally programmed to a sort of "default wussy" mode of behavior when they encounter a woman that they're attracted to.

When you combine this default wuss mode with nervous body language, you create an almost impossible barrier between you and success.

5. Just like a painting or a song, too much can ruin an interaction with a woman. You must know when to leave. Leaving at the right moment creates tension, anticipation and mystery.

Of course, there are more ingredients to ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where I'm going with this...

In every situation, you can do something to INCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can do something to DECREASE it. In other words, there's always a way to dial up this magical emotion.

And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even when you've just met. In fact, this is often the best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question...

What would most guys do in the situation with the waitress (or maybe a bar tender)?

Imagine it.

You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're being Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's enjoying your company. You say "Hey, do you have email?" and she writes it down for you...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

You could.

1. Sit there and keep talking.

2. Stay and talk to her a few more times.

3. Wait around hoping that you can go home with her.

So let's do a little critical thinking about this situation before I comment (or maybe this will be the comment, we'll see).

If you (1) sit there and keep talking, what's likely to happen?

In my experience, unless you're the ultimate Mac Daddy of all time, the only place to go is DOWN.

Think about it... you got her info. You did it. She's working. She's only going to get busy, which will probably make the conversation more difficult.

And then there's the risk of saying or doing something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense, or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of anything good happening, and a great chance of having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

If you (2) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends that show up), and talk to her a few more times while ordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we're dealing with a situation that almost can't get any BETTER. Remember, she already gave you the info. Now she might start thinking "Oh, this is just another loser that hangs out all night and gets drunk with his buddies... like the other 47 guys who hit on me."

Or you might say something dumb... or you might tip her too much or too little and make a strange impression... or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you (3) wait around hoping that you can go home with her, I think you're REALLY taking your chances in the situation.

Again, unless you're the ultimate pick-up artist of all time, you're not likely to be taking home the bar tender by sitting in front of her and drinking all night... for the same reasons listed above.

But what if (4) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you: What effect does disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes the other person think "I wonder where he/she had to go so fast?"

You can also combine this with having something very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might say:

"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun."

This technique of leaving the moment I've gotten a woman's information has worked WONDERS for me... and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you stick around after you get the info, you create no tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, and have something interesting (even if you don't say what it is) to go do, then you're seen as busy... the kind of guy who has a life... someone who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging, and generally NOT having other things to do.

It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you from other guys, and something that will demonstrate all the right qualities with a single move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I recommend that you start thinking of how to increase it as much as you possibly can, because if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing else matters.

...and if you'd like to learn even more of my personal secrets, from psychology to specific techniques for all kind of situations, then I'd recommend that you download a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating". Just go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

...for all the details. There are more sample ideas and techniques on my website, so go check it out!

And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

DATING TIP: WHEN TO CALL HER BACK DATING TIP: "How Long Should I Wait To Call Her Back?"

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If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", then you probably remember the part where the guys are discussing how long a guys should wait to call a woman after he's gotten her phone number.

The scene really hits home for a lot of guys, because it gets down to a real-world situation that we all confront and ponder.

I get lot of emails from guys asking me what to do in this very situation

The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this particular question (and the answer to it) are part of a bigger, more important CONCEPT about how to deal with women.

Let me explain.

When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?" this immediately tells me a few of things:

1. The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation. If he felt like he was in control, then it he wouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.

2. The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attraction works. If he did get it, then he'd be thinking in those terms rather than trying to figure out the exact best amount of time to wait before calling.

To put it differently, the "when do I call her back? problem is part of a bigger concept, and once you understand that bigger concept better, then you'll have an automatic feel for when to call a woman back.

Most guys don't "get" one simple point:

If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave differently than if you want her to feel that "just friends" feeling.

In the world of ATTRACTION, things can be completely different.

For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "be nice" to women. This usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them, answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want when they want it.

But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you're going to have to put aside this kind of thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.

For instance:

1. A challenge is generally attractive to women.

2. Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.

3. Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.

I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you're dealing with ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal" ways of thinking and behaving.

I would like to mention one more point before getting into the specifics here...

These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having "techniques" used on them.

If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediately get defensive and resistant.

If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of "technique" we pass them by without pity.

If a business treats us like a "thing" or a number instead of an individual person, we avoid them or buy elsewhere.

We humans don't like having manipulation techniques used on us, and when we detect that someone or something is using one to get the better of us, we resist.

So let's get back to the "how long to wait before calling her back" issue.

If you think about it, every situation is slightly different. One time you might meet a woman in the morning at coffee, and another time you might meet a woman at a club at 1 in the morning.

If you wait too long to call her back, I think you run the risk of seeming like you're just using a technique on her, and you come across as a player who's trying to do your thing on her.

When deciding how long to wait before you call or email, I think it's important to ask yourself this question:

"What will be likely to INCREASE THE ATTRACTION in this situation?"

Here are a couple of ideas I have used with great success:

1. Email instead of calling first. I personally email the next day. I'll start with a charming email to get the conversation started, then tell her that I'm going to call in a day or two. This has the effect of making contact with her relatively quickly, but still creating anticipation because you haven't actually talked.

2. Call the next day, and make a joke about the situation. I might call and say "Yea, I was watching Swingers and they said to wait three days to call, but I was kind of in more of a one day mood... "

If you didn't get her email address, and you MUST use the phone, just do your best to avoid being AVERAGE.

I personally believe that our attention spans as humans are getting shorter and shorter. We have more and more information coming in from television, newspapers, and other sources, and we're getting cultural ADD. I think that if you wait too long, you're risking either being seen as using a technique, or risking being forgotten altogether.

But if you make the opposite mistake and call too soon (for instance a few hours later), you run the risk of being seen as a needy wuss who has no life.

In a recent newsletter, I wrote about why it's important to leave immediately after getting a woman's email and/or number.

How long you should wait to call her back is a natural extension of this.

As a matter of fact, if you get a woman's email/number and then you keep coming over to talk to her, it can almost be seen as waiting 5 minutes to call her.

There's no anticipation, and it says all the wrong things.

A couple of other quick pointers for when you're making that first call:

1. Be busy. If you're going to ask her to join you for tea or something similar, make sure you mention two times that you're busy for every one time that you're available.

2. Don't linger on the phone. Make that first call short and to the point. If you stay on the phone for more than a few minutes, you're running the risk of getting into a normal "What do you do?" "Where do you live?" "Where did you go to school?" conversation. Avoid.

To summarize, when in doubt wait a day or so to contact her again.

But more importantly, think about the situation in terms of anticipation and ATTRACTION, so when you do make contact it creates the correct context.

Of course, if you'd like to get ALL of my best thinking on how to deal with different situations and make a woman feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for you, then you need to read my book "Double Your Dating". It's full of all my best thinking and ideas about how to attract the kinds of women that you've always wanted. Just go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

DATING TIP: HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN DATING TIP: "How Do I Approach And Start Conversations With Women?"

>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: David,

I've been receiving your E-mails for about 2 months now And I, being the shy guy, am breaking out of my shell. But My question is this...

I'm around women all the time. At work, at the bars, everywhere...what is the best way to train myself to be able to talk to these girls. So many times I'm sitting there and this Absolutely Beautiful girl walks in and I'm stunned. But I don't really know what to say to this girl so she leaves and that's it. I'm getting better but how do I get more consistent with my Cocky + Funny lines.

Any Exercises?

Love Online

Love Online

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