The phases of a seduction
As we have said Seduction can be divided into phases.
It is important to know them all. If you have a clear mental scheme you will be prepared when in action. You will be then much more effective.
Once you have become an expert in seduction, you will also be able to perform variations on the theme, like a virtuoso.
At the beginning, however, try to follow these phases.
The phases of seduction are:
a. Finding a woman b. Establishing Initial contact (Opening and Small talk.)
c. Building Attraction & establishing Rapport & Comfort. I believe that these 3 stages happen contemporarily.
d. Seducing her.
e. Closing her = Seducing her into having sex with you or rejecting her and telling her why or simply rejecting her without any explanation, i.e. ending the relationship with her forever.
The Rapport & Comfort phase is not essential with all women. After you have shown Alpha qualities, some women may want to have sex with you and only after do they ask you your name. For some other women - especially those with high self-esteem and those with deep feelings of guilt about sex and attraction - Rapport & Comfort can be very important. For other women, especially those with fears or shyness, Comfort can be extremely important.
Nevertheless you can also succeed in seducing a woman without Rapport & Comfort.
You cannot succeed in seducing a woman, however, without Attraction. Psychologically disturbed women are a possible exception to this.
Ideally the phases are executed all in the course of a single meeting with the woman. They can nevertheless also be executed in the course of different meetings.
Anyway if you meet her in the course of several meetings you will often be in the situation that you have to start her seduction again from the beginning.
Women's emotions follow the law of "here and now" and in most of the cases they do not have logical and temporal continuity. With a woman you cannot count too much on the attraction she "had" for you last time you met each other, because her emotions can be totally different the next time you meet her. In most cases you will need to start the seduction game any single time from the beginning.
In the course of the first meeting you should at least obtain her telephone number or her email and have some chance of meeting her again. You have to build at least some attraction.
If the Attraction is missing, almost probably you will not get results of any kind.
We will discuss the subject of Attraction later in a whole chapter dedicated to it.
As a rule I do everything I can to bring to bed a woman between the first and the third encounter. If I do not succeed in the course of 3 encounters - it rarely happens with me - I end the interaction with her. Any other interaction would bring me more and more into the beta friendship frame and only reduce the possibilities of having sex. Exceptions to this rule are environments where you can meet her for other reasons, for example, the workplace.
So this is about having her into bed between 1-3 encounters or ending the interaction. A seduction is a "one way street." When you go into it you can get a lay. If you don't get a lay fast in the beginning of the interaction, you get a friend - or an enemy.
So you need to go for the lay as soon as possible. Let's call this Franco's rule number one: sex in between 1-3 encounters.
And now let's describe the phases of seduction:
a. Finding a woman is the first phase. Where can you find beautiful women? Answer: everywhere!
There are plenty of places where you can find beautiful women: bus stops, restaurants, shops, at the beach, at your workplace (this one not for US citizens!) and in clubs.
Remember that women have been made to feel guilty for centuries about their sexuality.
They want sex as much as men but many of them - for fear of being judged as sluts - are psychologically obliged to hide it from themselves and from others.
Your job is to help them to free themselves from their fears and inhibitions and help them to enjoy sex with you.
The majority of the women - there are of course exceptions - when put in a social context under the direct observation of the members of the group rarely will have the courage to admit their sexual desire for a stranger.
So an important skill you need to learn from the beginning is to isolate the woman from the social context.
The skill of isolating the woman is very important, especially for beginners in the field of seduction.
Once you are more expert, you will be able also to overcome the obstacle formed by the social context, especially when you have learned the meaning of the SGND (Slut Guilt Neutralizing Defense) and the meaning of Social proof.
You can find these concepts further on this book.
There is a complex you need especially to overcome from the beginning: I call it the "newbie" complex. At the beginning due to the fear of approaching women you will be prone to making two basic mistakes:
1. Doing nothing. You will not do approaches at all and limit yourself to reading this manual. Without approaching women you will not get any results at all. There is no human activity where you could get some results without constant practice.
Seduction is not an exception to this rule.
2. You will approach, but will go fast into the friendship frame or into the role of her therapist. This is also a huge mistake because being her friend before you bring her to bed will kill the sexual tension. In that way it is like saying to her: "I am a beta male."
Entering the role of therapist is even worse: women are very effective and fast to sense unsure behavior. She will let you assume the therapist role, use you as such and consider you weak and beta.
Remember: as a rule the purpose of your approach is to bring her to bed. Be congruent with yourself as an Alpha male should be. Keep the frame you had from the beginning, i.e. the goal of laying her.
Women may do everything they can to get you out of that frame, but they will adore you afterwards for not letting them to force you out of that frame.
Remember this rule: in our society beauty gives the woman an enormous power in the field of erotic and emotional relationships. The ability to pickup and seduce women gives to YOU a power at least as great as a woman's beauty. Without these skills you will always in your relationships with females be in a position of inferiority because she will be approached by other males all the time and your choices will be greatly limited compared to hers.
Becoming an expert in pickup and seduction you will get power comparable to the power a seductive woman has when she enters a bar.
Different types of approaches:
1. The classic pickup: everyone can train himself to do it like this. This is the art of picking up women in bar, streets, restaurants and everywhere. Using the rule of the fast approach and the knowledge of the female instincts exposed in this book, you will eventually become a Pickup Artist (PUA.)
You will be able to pickup and seduce women practically everywhere.
The classic pickup requires that you have some time to dedicate to it, at least a couple of evenings every week. The classic pickup can be done in different environments. The environment also affects very much the level of difficulty.
There is the street pickup, the bar pickup, the library pickup, the mall pickup and so on.
The street pickup is the most difficult because there a woman is exposed to the maximum social pressure.
2. The social pickup: this is very good for people who work a lot and do not have too much time at their disposal such as professionals, politicians, Leaders of any kind. It is based on the art of linking your social activities with the pickup.
For example, the female secretary, the female colleague, and the lady you play tennis with, the lady booking flight tickets for you, the female salesclerk in the shop next door and so on. I do this kind of pickup when I am very busy at work and do not have time to go out at night. I dedicate myself to the classic pickup when I have more time.
3. The Internet pickup: you should do everything to avoid this when you are at the beginning of your career as a seducer and are still learning! Once you have become expert in the other forms of pickup you can also use Internet as a mean of pickup.
If you start from the Internet you will never have the ability to approach on the streets or other social situations.
The percentage of beautiful women you can meet in real life is much higher than the percentage of those you can meet through the Internet. In the Internet there are also many psychologically disturbed women. When you are expert in other forms of pickup, then the Internet will not be a danger for you anymore.
You can dedicate yourself to this kind of pickup only when you are sure you can approach anyone anywhere in real life without problems.
B. The Contact. The contact phase is divided into
In the opening phase you say something which "opens" the talk. This is the "Opener." If you don't have anything in your mind just say "Hi!" Just like that. You look at her, smile and say a simple: "Hi!"
She is sitting close to you in a bar. You are sitting close to her. You know you are strangers to each other. You assume the Alpha attitude. You demonstrate that you don't give a shit about social rules and simply say:" I!"
One important thing: if you apply the rule of the fast approach, your approach will seem spontaneous and she will notice it. Doing the approach in such a rapid way, you will come out as extremely self-confident. The worst idea you can have is to sit for hours around her, without saying anything and looking needy.
Practically speaking, if you are around a beautiful woman and you don't open the conversation in a few seconds, it will be much more difficult to do it later. Women know that unsure guys sit or stand around them and do not have the courage to approach them. Only by approaching her fast will you put yourself above all the other guys she knows.
Train yourself to evaluate women rapidly and approach within a few seconds of spotting her.
When you open, the expression in your voice and your whole non-verbal attitude are much more important than what you say. Say "Hi" in calm and reassuring way, with a smile, like you would say it to a woman you have known for a long time. For example, a few weeks ago I opened with a woman who walked close to me.
I just looked at her, smiled and said "Hi!"
She: "Do we know each other?"
Me: "No. But we can fix that problem now. Where are you going?"
She: "Home to pack for a trip"
Me: "Oh. So that's why you're walking around with that joyful smile!"
She: "Yes. It is so nice to go on holidays!"
Me: "What is the place you have been to you have enjoyed the most?"
She: "Cape Town, South Africa. It is a wonderful place! You know it?"
Me: "Yes. It is awesome; I was there couple of years ago. What is it that you liked the most about Cape Town?"
She: "That wonderful sea in front of the town. It is such a wonderful view!"
We stopped at a bar and we went on discussing the places she had been to on vacation. In the course of the discussion I had her talking about the sensations she felt in front of the sea, in Cape Town.
So the "Hi" I told her at the beginning is the so-called opener. In this case I used the simplest possible opener: "Hi." Any phrase can be used as an opener. For example, a question about some food in a food store.
Or it could be a comment about the weather. Or it could be a question about bus schedules and so on. Use your imagination. Be natural. Let the whole thing to seem like "It just happened." Women adore things when they "just happen."
In the above example "Hi" is the opener and the phase where I start to talk about holidays with her is the small talk. In that phase we start a banal conversation about whatever theme. In this case we converse about Cape Town. It could be any other theme.
The part where we are at the bar and I have her talking about the sensations connected with the sea is connected with Rapport & Comfort. In this particular case the Attraction was built already from the beginning by the self-confident way I approached her. I could see that from her Soft Signs. You can find this very important concept further in this book. This was an exception.
Building attraction generally requires much more than only a self-confident approach.
A minute before she had told me she was divorced from a man who did not talk about feelings.
So I started to give her descriptions of South Africa - where I really had been myself - where I put forth emotions and sensations. Like this:
"A wonderful sea opens itself in front of you while looking at the horizon in that town. A strange sensation of calm and inner realization takes the soul while the warm African night slowly wields its power over the scene. Imagine that if we were sitting there now we could feel the heat of the night on our skin." And so on.
That built even more Attraction for me in her.
This was enough for her to want to see me again. We exchanged telephone numbers. I was giving her what she could not get in her former relationships. This is an example where I combined the Find out about Values with the Building of Attraction. There are many, many other ways to build Attraction in a woman. This is only one of them.
C. Establishing Rapport & Comfort & Building Attraction
Rapport is deep contact between two or more persons, which is more than superficial contact.
One or more persons are in a state of Rapport when they feel a sense of comfort in being with each other and their emotions, thoughts and ideas are in tune with each other.
Attention: rapport is not a moralistic concept!
For example, if one person shouts and the other is quiet there is no rapport. If both shout or are quiet, if they feel comfortable with each other and in tune to each other then they have Rapport.
Now, there is a basic difference between man and woman you need to keep FIRMLY in mind if you want to become an expert seducer:
Rapport means something completely different for a man and a woman.
For a man it is not a big deal if the Rapport is superficial. Men can take very well and for prolonged times superficial communication between themselves. They are able to exchange objective data and abstract values for very long time, without problems.
They don't feel bad about it.
For women things are more complicated. Women are extremely sensitive about:
1. The type of emotions words cause in them.
2. If there is emotional involvement in an interaction between two persons.
For this reason, when we deal with the attraction and rapport phase of the seduction we should remember this:
attraction building & rapport is the phases of seduction where you take note of the emotions your words and the situations, persons and environment around cause in the woman.
It is also the phase when you try to build emotional contact with the woman and have her as emotional as possible.
Attention! I said emotional and not logical OR rational.
If a woman asks "What's your job?" and you answer: "I am a banker." If a woman asks: "So why are you a banker?" and you answer: "Because it is a safe work and I am very well paid."
If you go on talking for hours about your bank without any emotional involvement then you are not building attraction & you did not really reach the rapport phase with her.
You are not really "in tune" with her. To reach deeper Rapport with a woman, to make her comfortable you need to make her emotional.
You cannot say that you have reached the Attraction & Rapport phases with a woman if you do not have some emotional exchange with her, if you have not made her emotional.
You are not really in tune with her because your statements are full of logical and objective data without any emotional content. That kind of speech leaves women cold and unsatisfied, even if your ideas are at Einstein's level.
If you are trying to seduce her into bed from the point of view of the seduction you are wasting your time.
After all, is it not the case that 99% of philosophers have been men?
If a woman asks to you: "What's your job?" and you answer in a cocky and funny way: "My names is Bond, James Bond. I am a spy in her Majesty's service", if you add to the joke a mysterious expression then you are already creating Rapport & Attraction.
This is because by being funny and direct you already act on her emotional level and have her emotional.
Also, in this particular example you hide yourself behind the mystery.
Women love all strong emotions - both positive and negative ones - and for that reason they love mystery.
For example, if you don't say something to a woman, if you don't give her any information then you come out as much more seductive than if you were to say the truth.
We will come to this again later.
The above example about James Bond may be banal, but it illustrates the idea very well. In reality things are much more complicated. You can do much, much more with Attraction & Rapport. Let's go on.
Women generally love two types of words and concepts:
1. Abstract words: words containing absolute concepts like "love", "freedom", "stability" and so on.
2. Emotional words: describing an emotional experience in a detailed way.
Men do not understand a woman's language because they are more interested in the logical and practical meaning of words. If they are not poets, they are not interested in the sensations & emotions connected with words.
Yes, those of you who love poetry have an advantage in the field of seduction.
Of course poetry without the Alpha attitude is a suicide in terms of seduction. In that way you easily become her "girlfriend." Poetry and an Alpha attitude put together is an irresistible cocktail for a woman.
Woman can love words like freedom or warmth or cold with the only purpose of enjoying the emotions contained in those words. Practically speaking they simply enjoy them for a hedonistic purpose.
Women are hedonists of the emotions. This is a banal example, but imagine if you were to answer in the following way to a male friend, when he asks what kind of work you do:
"This is a very exciting and interesting question. Your question shakes me so deeply. Yes! My job! Every morning I wake up and go, full of joy into a warm subway full of strangers. I feel happy when I go to the office. Yes. Think that I am a banker. I am a particular, romantic banker. During the whole day some very exciting papers come across my desk and I feel myself so important when I participate in the Nation's destiny. After all this is a work of extremely social interest and it makes me feel happy. I feel fulfilled when I take care of all those papers."
Your male friend will believe that you became crazy or will suspect that you are gay.
Well. Talking to a woman in that way you will give her exactly what she wants. Even if she is an executive in some company, if she is a modern woman trying to show the "tough guy attitude", don't let her fool you: the way to bring her into your bed is exactly the same with her as with other women.
This is exactly the way you need to talk to a woman if you want to seduce her. Also, this is one of the most important means for creating an attraction which is great for proceeding slowly to the following phase of the seduction.
So in order to seduce her you need to:
- Color your speech with emotions, sensations and universal abstract concepts, not necessarily great emotions but any emotion; both positive and negative ones are very good.
- Even more important: you need to learn to follow the course of her emotions.
- And extremely important is to learn to exchange emotions with her.
An important concept about women: never keep women from feeling negative emotions.
Women love negative emotions as much as positive ones.
This is very much different from what your parents and teachers told you, so if a woman feels negative emotions, don't try to help her, don't try to keep her from feeling these emotions or you risk coming across as an unattractive "nice guy" and breaking the Rapport with her resulting in her slowly becoming your enemy.
Follow this discussion between an expert seducer and a woman:
He: "I'm a banker. I've always wanted, since I was a little child to feel that wonderful sensation coming from taking care of exciting papers on my table and to feel the self-confidence coming from a sure job. Every morning birds flying outside my office's window give me a sense of contact with nature, when I look out."
She: "But don't you get bored when you take care of all those papers every morning? Yes. I understand you. Your deep contact with nature helps you to deal with the boredom connected with your work."
He: "Also there are human relationships with co-workers. When they are satisfying they open up new horizons." And so on.
I know that most of the men reading this text are already laughing like hell. Some of you are already bored to death.
I could not keep myself from laughing when I was writing this. As you can tell from the subject I choose it was very difficult for me to create a really serious content for the above speech.
Now, before you grab your gun, do me a favor. Go out and try to seduce a woman talking to her in the above described way.
Then come back and tell me what happened. You will be surprised yourself about the wonderful results you will get.
The approach described above will bring into your bed an incredible amount of really beautiful and sexy ladies!
When you notice that you are exchanging emotions and sensations with the woman you want to seduce and when you have succeeded in getting her emotional, then you are at having real Rapport with her.
Other signs that you are in the Rapport & Comfort phase are:
- She feels comfortable around you.
- She feels trust towards you.
For a woman, entering rapport on an emotional level with a man - as described above - means much more than for a man. For her this is like being one step closer to the bedroom.
Of course also the kind of more superficial, less emotional and more logical rapport which men have between each other is a form of rapport but that is not the kind of rapport which will get you laid.
If a man succeeds in getting a woman into an emotional kind of rapport and manages to keep an Alpha attitude at the same time in most cases, he has practically got the keys for getting her into the bedroom.
With practice you will notice that women will defend themselves in several ways against the rising of desire connected with being emotional. One typical way is this:
"I'm going to the bathroom now."
When she comes back she is colder and more in control. You need to start again to build rapport and attraction. She did that because she felt she was becoming horny, while having an emotional exchange with the guy.
I will tell more about these kinds of female defenses against getting horny in the upcoming books of my Encyclopedia of Pickup, Seduction and Female Relationships for the modern man.
Attraction might be referred to in a more appropriate way with the terms creating attraction/building attraction.
In my opinion it can happen with certain women at the same time while there is deep emotional rapport and with other kind of women without rapport at all.
Attraction is created by using several techniques meant to have her feeling special emotions and feelings when she is in your company.
As women are extremely emotional creatures, the more they feel strong emotions in your company, the more they get convinced that you are one hell of a guy.
So attraction = "I feel special emotions and feelings when I am in your company."
You will get a clearer idea of what the attraction phase is when you will read the chapter I have written about it.
This subject is so important to seduction that a separate chapter is devoted to it in this book.
The seduction phase follows naturally upon the phases of Building Attraction, Rapport & Comfort. When a woman feels herself attracted to you, in your company sex will seem to her a natural consequence of the feelings and emotions she feels in your company.
The seduction phase = "I feel myself so attracted to you in your company that I want to give myself to you as a woman and to let you take me sexually."
We will get back to both attraction and seduction further in this book.
F. The close.
The Closing phase is the phase of seduction where you:
1. Make love to her.
2. She let's you touch her or kiss her.
3. She gives you her telephone number, an e-mail address or some other way to contact her and so on.
Of course, a seduction can be considered really complete only when you make love to her at least once. Kisses, hugs, telephone numbers or e-mail addresses are signs that you have become expert in pickup and seduction. These are signs that you are now able enough to attract women.
Nevertheless, full sexual intercourse with her is the only clear sign of the fact that you have succeeded in seducing her. A full sexual intercourse means that her evolutionary detectors considers you good enough genetic material for her to take the chance of a pregnancy caused by you.
However, nowadays some women with psychological disturbances and total inability to share their life with men may try to get pregnant in the course of a one night stand.
Still, with them too, you will notice how thoroughly their evolutionary detector will screen you before the one night stand.
So this applies with some variations also to psychologically disturbed women, a woman with big psychological problems may also agree to sex with a man she is not attracted to as a part of her self-destructive behavior.
When you make love it is very important that she leaves the experience with the sensation that she had never in her life made love like she did with you.
You have to make her enjoy it so that she says: "You are the first man in my life who really made me feel myself like a woman."
Never consider a woman a serious option if you did not make love with her.
Continue reading here: Find out about her values and give her what she wants
Was this article helpful?