Female Mythic Pattern Realizing the Internal
rea iizing-->a ccepting-> opening-->connecting-->incorpora ting
External, objective challenges are "reminders" of internal, subjective issues; success comes from progressively deeper understanding ot, and connection ?o: infinitely deep "Self". NOTE: Every emotional abstraction you supply gives her a sense that she's moving further along her internal, infinite journey. Every emotion can remind her of an even deeper emotion...
targeting~> confronting-> struggling-> mastering
XIV. Penetrating the Inward Spiral, or, How to Use Emotional Cascading and Her Subjective Focus to Intensify Her Pleasure
Pleasure and success for a woman come in part from realizing and remembering that she can experience more emotions, and more complex and more intense emotions, than she's felt thus far.
To evoke strong emotional states in a woman, presuppose that any emotion she feels leads to a deeper one, which she can be reminded or encouraged to notice. As you describe it in overwrought sensory-rich language ("a bright blue flower spreading wide inside you, its soft moist petals glittering with dew, deep inside your heart"), she will begin to feel the emotion you describe.Any emotion X (example: "joy") can lead to emotion X+1 (example: "true joy") or emotionY ("surrender"). Remember, the labels for emotional experience are arbitrary.
1."I love just sitting quietly and relaxing in a cafe.it gives me a sense of calm, a sense of serenity.because, you know, when you feel this kind serenity, it's as though you're now feeling the stillness of a mountain lake inside you.as if the freshness and crispness of mountain air is filling your lungs.. .like soft blue tingling energy .the kind that speaks to that place of wisdom inside you.that place of wonder.the one that allows you to feel such security and comfort as you realize how delicious your sweet sense of yearning is, as it builds and builds with ever greater comfort, because you know this is one of those special moments of emotional opening, of spreading a deep hidden part of your inner self wide.for me.this kind of realization leads irresistibly to joy.with me.that's the way I think about this kind of wondrous transformative experience."
So the example above has 18 bubblewords:
calm^serenity^stillness^freshness^crispness^energy^wisdom ^wonder^security^comfort^yearning^comfort^opening^part ^self^ realization^joy^experience They were more or less randomly selected, and are fairly interchangeable with one another: all vaguely suggest positive emotions. For the record, though, it's often helpful to begin with relatively gentle emotions, e.g., calm, comfort, serenity, before proceeding to stronger ones, such as yearning or passion.
The structure is simple:
("I feel")Emotion x^emotion y^emotion z.etc.
Remember, emotions x and y and z need no logical connection with one another. All you need do is memorize a handful of bubblewords like those below, and then lace as many as possible into your conversation.
1. To induce intense emotions and an altered state quickly, use as many bubblewords as possible in the same sentence.
XII. The Power of "More"
A woman always wants "more". What she really wants more of, though, isn't material—she doesn't fundamentally want more jewelry, another trip to Florence, or a Jag XJS-HE in burgundy, though she may think she wants these things—she wants more and deeper emotions. She wants not just Emotionl but Emotion2 and Emotion n; and once she feels Emotion n, tell her to imagine feeling it twice, three times, a million times as powerfully...and then to realize that there is a more powerful emotion that she hasn't truly felt yet, and which she is beginning to discover now... Remember, emotions are malleable, arbitrary, and infinite, just like language itself. Any emotion implies the possibility of the next, more rewarding emotion.
For the record, men, too, want "more," but for them, it's not usually so abstract—they'll settle for more cash and the Jag. More precisely, men want more material experiences—they tend to be less drawn to the idea of deeper and more complex emotional experiences with a particular woman than to the idea of many more experiences with many more women—not a deeper appreciation of cash, but just more cash. Again: Men want stuff or experiences, and then more stuff or experiences; women want deeper emotional responses to the stuff and experiences they encounter.
Is there an easy way to give her the deep, layered emotional responses—the long chains of emotions—that she wants?
You can give her the emotions she wants, just by talking about what it would be like to feel them. In talking about these emotional states in an emotional way, you elicit within her the emotional states that you describe.
Well, you might say, I understand how that might be true with something like "contentment"—but what about "overwhelming, irresistible passion"?
That last phrase, "overwhelming, irresistible passion," exotic as it sounds, is just a phrase; it's just a set of words, a set of symbols, a code. It's a handle. You can grab that handle and do whatever you want with it. Think of that handle as having a value of X. You want to elicit an even stronger emotional response inside her, so move from X to X+1.
Say, "Yes, overwhelming, irresistible passion is wondrous.and now imagine feeling more intensely than ever before! Feel a deeper overwhelming, irresistible passion!"
Get it? Overwhelming,irresistible passionS Deeper, overwhelming, irresistible passion ;
You added a word, deeper, and this became a cue for getting her to imagine a stronger response than she'd imagined before.
Any given emotion can be diminished or intensified through language. An emotion with an intensity of X can become an emotion with an intensity of X+1, just by instructing that this happen. If, for example, a woman says she feels "all the love in the universe" for her boyfriend, you can say, "yes, wouldn't it be great to feel all the love in the universe for someone.. .and then meet someone new.. .and then realize you can feel all the love in the universe.and then even more? Isn't it great to know that the universe has more love than it did a moment ago, just because you realize this now?" Any Emotion X ^Emotion X+1.
For that matter, any emotion implies the possibility of the next, more rewarding emotion:
Emotion X^Emotion Y Emotion X (example: "tranquility") can be assumed to create the potential for Emotion Y (example: "centeredness"). Do you have to know what her personal sequence is? Must she already think that "tranquility" leads to "centeredness"? No—perhaps she's never thought of "centeredness" as important. What matters is that you imply, with the kind of conviction she can see in your face, in your gestures, and hear in your voice, that "centeredness" is some kind of positive emotion, and that it's deeper than whatever X is.
Remember, much of the art of eliciting strong responses in a woman consists of reminding her of her own unconscious conviction that her emotions can always go deeper and get stronger. Her depth of emotion, the Inward Spiral of her Hidden Self, is infinitely deep—or so she tends to think. And you can tap into those deeper emotions just by putting them in words.
Whatever her present emotional state, she can be reminded that she wants more.
Example: "Yeah, you love your boyfriend. That's great, that's cool. It's nice to be completely satisfied and to feel that whatever you're feeling now is as good as it can possibly get. I remember talking to my friend Talia about that. She was involved—like really, deeply, intensely involved—with a guy for what, it must have been two years. She was totally satisfied—it was all she could imagine—she couldn't imagine anything better. At least, that's what I thought. That's what she told everybody. One day she surprised everybody, though, by announcing that she'd found somebody new. When I asked her about it, she said, Yeah, she thought she was totally satisfied too. Then she met this guy, and something about being with him, just being in his presence, just talking to him made her realize that she could have more. Like all the pleasure she'd had till then had only been preparation. She realized she could have something more—as if, within that relationship she'd been inside for so long, she'd grown content, and then numbed—as if she'd stopped growing, and didn't realize it. But something about being with this new guy.. .looking at this new guy.. .feeling her heart beat as she looked at him.now.this made her realize that opening to him could introduce her to new, deeper, more meaningful experiences."
Emotions are subjective, and not bounded by sensory limits; they are therefore infinite as well as malleable. You help a woman "grow" (i.e., you create rapport and intensify her emotional response) by reminding her that a given emotion is infinite, and that she can feel "more".
Remember, women tend to believe that physical events and objects are trivial, next to the emotional responses that they generate. Everything is symbolic. The emotion that an object or event symbolizes can be manipulated through language. Example: "Wow, that's a beautiful diamond ring.it must mean a lot to you.I wonder what it would be like if someone could see that ring and then sense the feelings behind it begin to rise up, grow, become a color, grow, intensify, and then make everything you see around you and everything you're hearing begin to fill with all the beauty and wonder and connection and warmth that used to be trapped inside that piece of colorless crushed coal? Imagine feeling how much more powerful and genuine these feelings can now become, because they're now part of something real and alive and human, shared and embodied by two people, in the here and now!" The point: Don't just think buying her flowers will do the trick—if you want to have a real effect, describe the emotional effect buying flowers should have inside her. In fact, if you do a good job describing the intended emotional response, you can skip having to buy the flowers.
You can deepen rapport and strengthen her emotional responses, just by talking about the yearning for more.
XV. The Princess and the P.E.A. (Proof by Enjoyable Analogy), or How to Give Any Experience The Meaning You Want
When talking to a woman, you can connect any event to any meaning (that is, connect it to any implication or any emotional result) just by linking the event and the result with words.
How do you arbitrarily link one event, physical or emotional, to another emotional event? How do you give one thing any meaning you wish? You say there's a connection, then you describe it with some pleasant metaphor or image that her imagination can follow, and then say it results in the meaning you want to give it. The formula is this:
When you X, it's like Y, and this leads to a feeling of Z.
X is any emotion or event; Y is any pleasant analogy; and Z is the emotion to which you want to lead her—Z is now the meaning of X.
When you ZORK, it's like riding a bike along a beautiful country road, because it allows you to feel a profound sense of WHOOFLE.
Remember, in that sentence, ZORK can be replaced by anything, and WHOOFLE can be replaced by anything else. The more images you feed her between ZORK and WHOOFLE, the more easily she'll feel a sense of WHOOFLE. This is sometimes called the Proof by Enjoyable Analogy. When you want to seduce someone, you'll make your images progressively more suggestive, and the emotional state you're producing— WHOOFLE—progressively more about intimacy and arousal and sexual surrender.
The Proof by Enjoyable Analogy, repeated over and over with different and progressively more erotic content, can easily form the backbone of an effective seductive conversation. Just follow the pattern: XYZ, XYZ, XYZ, or better yet, X1/Y1/Y2/Y3/Z1, X2/Y4/Y5/Y6/Z2, X3/Y7/Y8/Y9/Z3.
"When you feel really connected to someone, it's like there's a glittering, iridescent chain connecting your hearts, and this is a sign you and this person are meant to be together."
"When someone really has an impact on you, it's as if you can feel everything special and powerful about this person penetrating ever more deeply into your mind and body and soul, and you feel flooded with this tremendous desire to open yourself even more completely, so as to experience even more of these special feelings."
"My friend Chandra says that when a man really feels right for her, it's as if everything that's been numb or bored or disconnected inside her suddenly begins to melt like the wax of a candle, and the more she feels this warmth and this liquid melting feeling inside her, the more deeply she knows this experience is going to enter her and give her a true feeling of being totally filled, as if she can now truly sense how much she's been waiting for an experience just like this, and now she truly feels herself yearning for this even more powerfully, as if a voice inside her is saying, "You need this now. Surrender, and take this pleasure and grace and power inside you, because this is what you need right now." We'll explain why this works in the next chapter.
1. Proof by Enjoyable Analogy (P.E.A.) allows you to assign "meanings" (conceptual evaluations) to emotions and events.
2. Taking a P.E.A. has this structure: Emotion or Experience X is like Enjoyable Experience Y, which leads to a feeling of Emotion Z. Again: X is like Y, which leads to Z.
XVI. How Women Decide What Something "Means"
As we've mentioned, women have a much stronger response to language than do men. Language induces very strong emotions. Women create complex emotions, complex metafeelings, by layering and linking and stacking abstract words—abstract concepts about feelings--together. And just as they use complex language to create complex feelings, they use complex language to create meaning.
Men and women determine the "meaning" of something in different ways. This, in fact, is one of the most important differences between them. Fortunately, the way women construct a sense of meaning makes it very easy for you to help them create meaningful experiences and help them arrive at interpretations that you want. All you need are words and metaphors.
If men and women abstract the meaning of an experience in different ways, how do men do it? Men mainly consider physical events— we look at how one physical event affects another physical event, how going into protracted negotiation on a big deal affects that vacation to Rio planned for next week. The meaning of something is how it affects a physical event.
For women, on the other hand, meaning comes primarily from how something affects an emotion. The thing that affects the emotion will often be another emotion. Meaning, for women, is in emotional response. The meaning of that protracted negotiation will largely be in the emotions that flow from it, and the degree to which she feels she's adhering to her personal values. She might think, "Maybe missing out on that vacation is just one more example of how I'm always putting work before pleasure. I'm always losing touch with myself, always putting off what I really want. Why do I always do this? What does this say about me? I'm always fighting to prove myself. Am I still trying to please Daddy? Why can't I just move on? What does this say about me?" Etc. For women, emotions are just as real as physical events.
You create rapport with women by interpreting events through the lens of emotional abstraction. Talk as if your emotions drive your perceptions--as if your emotions are the real-world, and the physical world is something far away and not very important.
1. Men and women create "meaning" (and therefore establish priorities) in different ways.
2. Men assign meaning based on consequences in the physical world; the meaning of an event or an emotion is its probable effect on a future event.
3. Women assign meaning based on emotional response; the meaning of an emotion or event is its effect on emotions.
4. For women, emotions are just as real and compelling as physical events.
Continue reading here: Xvii
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