Being in rapport shows you have appreciation of the other persons point of view even if you dont agree or understand it

This is a very attractive and open quality that will make the other person very comfortable and will give them the impression that you are a grounded and well-rounded individual. It will also help you engage with many people on many levels.

It's a great quality to have, especially when being introduced to his or her friends. Getting his/her friends on your side can only be a bonus. It is critical that you are not only showing a genuine interest in the other person, but you are also interested in how they think and have an openness to see the world from their point of view. Combine this with mirrored body language and tone of voice and you will find it very easy to gain rapport.

If the relationship is new, rapport can be broken very quickly, so make sure that you pace the interaction and stay relaxed. Friends of many years will stay in rapport with little effort because they have built trust. You don't yet have that trust so tread carefully. You will also notice that frineds will use similar language, tone of voice and speed of speech. When you first meet the trust is not there so you have to work harder at staying in rapport. Watch listen and mirror.

This has always fascinated me especial when people first meet. You fancy the pants off this person, things are going well, sparks are flying and you are just dying to touch. Again guys, be under no illusion, if a woman has touched you, no matter how accidental it may seem, the brush of your hand whilst reaching for her drink, the glance against you as she leaves the table, the hand on your arm or a touch on the knee, none of this is an accident - she wants to touch you, she likes you.

A touch of the upper arm every so often is acceptable and is far away from any intimate areas, so you're safe with this one, guys. There are no set rules from here on, but just tread carefully. Contact will escalate equally as you both become more comfortable. You will be now giving each other signs through multiple facial signals and reciprocated frequent touches and mirroring.

You are now in full-flirt and it's probably safe to ask for her number at the end of the night with a view to getting to know her better on a date. Who knows, she might not want to wait. Each to their own - just make sure you are having fun and not hurting anyone. Now that you have read the 5 basic steps it all just comes down to confidence and trying things out. After all, what's the worst thing that can happen? She says 'no' and she may have 101 reasons, so don't be down hearted. If you have read the signals properly, chances are she won't.


Here is one I tried. Whilst sat in an airport, bored with waiting for a plane in the lounge, I sat next to my travelling partner. She and I just watched and talked about the people around us. After about 15 minutes, I noticed this lovely looking lady walking towards us.

She sat down on the other side of my friend and after about 10 minutes, I felt I really wanted to say hi, but was not really sure how to go about it.

I wanted the approach to be fun for both of us and not uncomfortable for her in any way. So I took out my mobile phone and called my friend who was sat no more than 2 feet away from me. She pulled her phone out of her handbag and was slightly confused to see the call was from me. She looked at me confused. I nodded towards her phone with wide eyes. Still confused, she said "What are you doing?" And I said "Answer to phone and hand your phone to the lady to your right and tell her it's for her."

"No," she said. "Just do it," I answered. So she leant over to the lady and said "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I have a call for you". "For me?" She said, shocked and confused, but she still took the phone and tentatively said "Hello..." I asked her to look to her left and she saw me. I then explained over the phone that I thought she was lovely looking and would love to get to know her.

She really laughed and then held up her wedding ring. I was gutted! I hadn't spotted that. But the three of us laughed and whiled away the next half an hour chatting.


Even though she was not interested, she did have fun. So did I and I bet she won't forget it.

Continue reading here: Reading Body Language

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