Vocal signals

You may be surprised to see this heading in the 'Non-verbal flirting' section, but 'verbal' means 'words' and vocal signals such as tone of voice, pitch, volume, speed of speech, etc. are like body-language in that they are not about what you say, the words you use, but about how you say it. We noted at the beginning of this 'non-verbal' section that people's first impressions of you are based 55 on your appearance and body language, 38 on your style of speaking and only 7 on what you actually...

Gestures

As well as overall body posture, the gestures we use can signal interest, attraction and invitation - or discomfort, dislike and rejection. When flirting, it is important to be aware of these nonverbal cues, both in 'reading' your partner's body-language and in controlling the messages you are sending with your own gestures. In conversation, gestures are mainly used to enliven, clarify and 'punctuate' our speech, or to show responsiveness to what the other person is saying. In a flirtatious...

Flirting with intent

But flirting is also an essential element of the mate-selection process, and when you are 'flirting with intent', rather than just 'flirting for fun', you need to be a bit more selective about your choice of target. In mate-selection flirting, there are two basic rules about who to flirt with that will increase your chances of success and reduce the likelihood of embarrassing rejections. 1. Do initiate flirtation with people of roughly the same level of attractiveness as yourself This will give...

Interpersonal distance

The distance you keep from the other person when flirting is important, because it will affect his or her impression of you, and the quality of your interaction. Perhaps even more importantly, paying attention to the other person's use of distance will tell you a great deal about his her reactions and feelings towards you. When you first approach an attractive stranger, having established at least an indication of mutual interest through eye contact, try to make eye contact again at about 4ft...

How to Read Female Flirting Signals

It's a girl's non-verbal flirting signals that give a guy the green light to approach her. Guys, if you're not sure, look for several of these signs of flirting. One alone means little or nothing - her lips felt dry she has an itch or a stiff neck - but when the signs come together, she's up for it She'll give good face. From a distance, you might get a direct look, prolonged eye contact, smiling - and it couldn't be a great deal clearer than that. If she's a little more shy, there'll be short,...

Develop your sense of humor

Take note of the things that make you laugh. Pay attention to what others find humorous. You don't have to be particularly quick-witted or a great storyteller in order to make others laugh. In fact, some of the funniest (and safest) material is that which is self-deprecating. As a side benefit this approach lets your listener know that you don't take yourself too seriously. Brush up on current events. Even with limited time, you can have a cursory knowledge of what's happening in the world....

How To Make Small Talk

Lifestyle Correspondent - Every Wednesday Forget about having a whole conversation with someone the thought of making small talk, whether it's with a date, coworker or stranger, makes your palms sweat (in which case you want to avoid shaking the person's hand at all costs). And your inability to make small talk hinders your ability to approach people in the first place. Just think about all the possibilities this eliminates. When you're standing around with someone you're not that close to,...