Flirting floparoos

ClubCard readers reveal some of the dodgiest pick-up lines they have ever heard.

'Those must be mirror pants, 'cos I can totally see myself in them' was pretty presumptuous. Claire, student 'Can I buy you a drink or would you rather have the money?' The cheek! Patsy, estate agent 'You sure must be tired, 'cos you've been running through my mind all night.' Can you say unoriginal de luxe? Deepah, accountant

'You must be a Jamaican 'cos Jamaican me crazy!' Yawn.. .Lauren, personal trainer 'So I noticed you're a girl.' Um, ja?! Kim, human resources manager

SEXY TEXT DECODED

If you know how to send a flirty SMS, telling someone they're on your mind has never been easier. However, like flirting, there are a few basic rules of textual etiquette that - if followed correctly - should get the best results (and, hopefully, replies).

Being clever or cute will score you more points than vulgar or crude, especially if you have only just met the recipient.

Some people consider it rude to text in capital letters because this is the SMS equivalent of SHOUTING.

Sending the odd message now and then lets someone know you care, but a daily barrage of picture messages or silly rhymes just reads: desper8 (desperate).

Be careful of your tone, because without 'emoticons' (the little smileys below), messages can easily be misinterpreted and a joke may not read as funny as it sounds.

Finally, don't get upset if you don't get an immediate reply. People do switch off their phones, especially if they're in a meeting, watching a film or just plain busy.

E Z ways 2 show sum1 you think theyr gr8 (Easy ways to show someone you think they're great) @}--\-,--- a rose :-) friendly smile ;-) flirty smile ;-P cheeky tongue {you} hug xxx kisses

Would Like To Meet

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