Turntaking

Once you have initiated a conversation with your chosen target, your success in making a favourable impression will depend as much on your social skills as on what you say.

We have probably all met at least one person who is highly articulate, witty and amusing, but who loses friends and alienates people by hogging the conversation, not allowing others to get a word in. You may also have come across the equally irritating strong, silent type who makes you do all the 'work' in the conversation - who never asks a question, never expresses interest and makes no effort to keep the conversation flowing.

What you have to say may be fascinating, and you may express it with great eloquence, but if you have not grasped the basic social skills involved in conversational turn-taking, you will be perceived as arrogant and unpleasant, and neither your target nor anyone else will enjoy your company.

The basic rule on how much to talk is very simple: try to make your contribution to the conversation roughly equal to that of your partner. The essence of a good conversation, and a successful flirtation, is reciprocity: give-and-take, sharing, exchange, with both parties contributing equally as talkers and as listeners.

7' tef awkward gaps and lengthy pauses in the conversation.

Continue reading here: Talking

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