Good Attitude

■ Is she a giver or a taker? Does she seem as concerned about your well being as her own?

■ Does she manipulate you or others?

■ Is she growing as a person? Does she work on the relationship as hard as you?

■ Does she have a positive outlook? There's nothing more draining and soul-sucking than being with someone who sees everything in life as a problem or a reason to cry or bitch at you.

■ A compatible sex drive: Does she want sex about as frequently as you do?

Every woman you meet and date should be put on an eight-week probation period. If you see any yellow or red flags, you may need to extend the period. Until she gets through her probation, proving her ability to meet your requirements, you are watchful and wary of her actions. You are not going to "fall" for her until you can be sure that she is a good candidate. Any large issues you have while dating or are in courtship will NEVER get better by getting married or in moving in together. In fact, most will get worse. Make sure you resolve red flags before further commitment.

I know that all the Nice Guys out there are saying, "But it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...""Love is risking..." and a thousand other platitudes. I actually do believe in most of the romantic ideals, but the Truth is that most men (and women) don't have the emotional reserves to risk themselves too far, too many times. You don't invest more than you can afford to lose, or you will wind up bitter and dysfunctional in whatever relationship you end up in. Yes, you can and should risk in order to further your romantic situation - it is a necessity. But don't overextend your credit! The world is full of emotionally bankrupt people, and you have to avoid this trap.

The majority of people spend more time planning a vacation than they do planning their lives or a simple path to a goal. Don't be one of them. Think differently, for therein lays the success you are looking for. Decide what is important to you in a woman.

Continue reading here: The Three Stages of the Continuum

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