The Myth of Game Playing

Here's the big question I hear all the time at this point:

"But, isn't this game playing? Manipulation? Do I have to be fake? Why can't I leave love to chance? Doesn't this take all the romance and fun out of dating?"

Funny enough, it's usually women who say these things. Men are usually all too eager to hear about ways to take some control of this speeding wreck called dating and not give up all control to the woman. But, even after hearing these strategies, and seeing it as the Truth, their inner voice starts to second guess them, and men start to ask the same questions. They're just scared that women will think of them as fake, manipulative, or insincere. At the core of this, they're really afraid of hurting women. Ultimately, men only wish they knew what to do when it comes to dating and women.

So why are women so hung up on the fear of dating strategies? First, women are emotionally attached to the fairytale romance part of the process, and they thrive on the drama of dating. Women know on an intuitive level that they are more in command of the dating process since these strategies are already built into their psychology. They don't understand that they are already using strategies and tactics on men every day, whether as defenses or as a method to achieve control.

Men, who are already expected to take on the brunt of the risks and initiation in dating, want some kind of game plan to work with. They're tired of making the same mistakes and wondering why women have all the power in the dating world.

To answer the question, Is this game playing? I offer you the following:

- As I said before, women are using strategies on you every step of the way. Men need the same kind of advantages. Women started out as little girls in slumber parties talking about boys and what they did on dates, collaborating and learning. They read "Teen" and "Cosmopolitan" with relationship quizzes and advice. Women exchange information more freely on the topic of relationships than guys ever do. If something was or wasn't working, they would talk about it. Boys never did, due to pride, ego, whatever. With that kind of schooling, you didn't stand a chance,

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especially when you spent your high school years throwing a football around and sneaking peeks at Penthouse. That is, you didn't stand a chance ... until now.

- Any effort you take to improve the situation is a win for both of you. You're seeking to improve the chances that both of you can get what you want and need. Everyone comes out ahead.

- Both men and women are on their best behavior in the early stages. You have to present your best self so that you can have the chance to gradually reveal yourself to the other person. This book will teach you how to do this in the least destructive way. And in the end, you'll never be able to hide the real you from her, anyways. It will come through.

- Remember that the Three S's - Self-confidence, Self-discipline, and a Sense of Humor - are behaviors. Exhibiting them may feel uncomfortable at times, but that does not make them fake or false to who you are. Only you can control the presentation of your personality. And it's up to you to present yourself in the best possible way so that she gets the right idea of who you are.

Everybody uses psychological tactics and strategies every day, whether we're aware of them or not. The concepts I'm about to tell you about have been going on since the beginning of male-female socialization. Nothing I show you will hurt or de-value women in any way. The question isn't about using manipulation; it's about whether you will recognize it when it is used on you ... and will you know how to handle it?

As long as there is no intentional harm, all that really matters in the end is the results. The ends do justify the means, as long as the means are not mean.

Pop quiz, hot shot. Review these two situations:

- You meet Ms. Right and turn her on to you, showing her your best and giving her the chance to feel attracted and interested enough to get to know you better, sleep with you, whatever. Ms. Right is yours.

- You meet Ms. Right and completely screw it up because you came on too strong, or never demonstrated a backbone, or any of a hundred other mistakes. Ms. Right never returns your calls again.

Now, which result do you prefer?

I thought so.

No one will ensure your happiness but you.

Another part of the Principle of Truth is that what you really want to happen is what actually happens.

Think about it: Whatever you really wanted in life, you got. Remember that bike you wanted as a kid? You couldn't stop thinking about it, and you bugged your parents non-stop, and when you didn't get it for Christmas, you saved your money and sold your blood plasma until you could afford it, and then you went out and bought it.

When you really wanted something, you made it happen. If you don't get what it is you say you want, then you didn't really want it. You were just wishing. You didn't allow the desire to motivate you enough.

When you tell yourself that you want to get more dates, and perhaps even a steady girlfriend, and then see no dates and no girlfriend, the only reason you don't get it is that you don't want it badly enough yet. You are where you want to be in your life right now, and you're doing exactly what you want to be doing. We almost always mistake wanting something for wishful thinking, especially when it comes time to do what it takes to get it.

Knowledge will help you understand the situation, and then coupling the understanding with motivation (wanting it enough), leads to action, and this will give you success.

So recognize that you are where you want to be, and are who you want. Accept your current reality. Don't tell yourself lies that it's others holding you back, or a million other "if only's." With the information here, you will know how to make that wish of making women and dating work for you come true.

Everyone is self-made, but only the successful will admit it.

Aggressive guys get the girls. Passive guys get the scraps from their table - if anything at all. That's the Truth, friends and neighbors. I don't care if that last sentence caused you to burst into sobbing tears - it's what you need to know. So you can whine about not wanting to change, but you have to realize that the areas you need to change to be an Alpha Male are not going to jeopardize your humanity, they will only improve you in ways you cannot imagine. Don't get depressed - get angry! Use this as motivation for positive change.

In all species, the dominant male gets to reproduce. If you aren't willing to get out there and take a few risks (risks that will never really hurt you, by the way), you're telling the world that you aren't fit to get your DNA into the next round. "You! Out of the gene pool, right now!"

In Truth, you will be like the real you if you juice up your confidence and take charge of your love life. Absolutely, positively, without a doubt. You are not being true to yourself if you are not demonstrating your inherently male traits and characteristics, or hiding behind fear and excuses.

Best Date Ever

Best Date Ever

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