In the introduction I hinted at something I call the Principle of Truth. Simply stated, the Truth is the bottom line of results are all that matters and don't argue with reality. Nothing else really matters, in the end. If you want a date with Fantastic Redhead, and you fail to get it, you didn't get it. End of story. You can tell yourself clever fictions about why she didn't go out with you, like her childhood had been traumatic and that led to her shyness and inability to commit. But in the end, you have to deal with the results you got. Some guys will sit there for days trying to argue their way through her thoughts and never get anywhere, driving themselves crazy and obsessed the whole time. You'll be tempted, my brothers, to find exceptions to what I tell you, or find some reason why this girl is The One, if only you could find a way to make her see it.
Don't go there.
You do what you can with what you've got, and face the reality of the results you get. Use these results to improve, adjust your course slightly, and you will get what you want. Guaranteed. If your conviction is strong enough, you'll be able to stand up to the constant barrage of negativity that the world gives you. Believe in something. I believe in the information I'm going to pass along to you, and I'm willing to evangelize for this cause. I'm not a fanatic, blind to other information or opinion, but I put a stake in the ground and decided this is where I'd start.
In Buddhism - as well as a great many other religions and philosophies - self-illusion is seen as the basis of all man's suffering. All pain can be defined as wanting things to be different than they really are. The answer to this anguish? Acceptance. You must face what is, not what you want. (Or what should be, as the Pundits will mislead you.)
Joe goes out to a bar. He walks up to Janet and starts talking with her. He proceeds to tell her all about his car, his house, his salary, himself, yadda yadda yadda, for the next ten minutes. When he's ready to go, he asks her for her phone number. Janet smiles and says, give me your card and I'll call you. Joe obliges, all too happy to give out his new fancy business card, and goes home. Joe never hears from Janet ever again. He thinks, huh, she must be a lesbian/cold-fish/weirdo. Joe goes out the next night, same results. Again and again.
Joe will suffer like this until he stops, pauses, confronts the Truth that he's got to change his behavior and start listening to improve his situation, and makes those changes. But if your ego is too easily bruised, or your self-esteem is down in the crapper, it will always be easier to think like Joe, that the world is against you, rather than face the fact that you need to learn a new skill.
At the risk of sounding like one of the Pundits, I propose that the first place you should start working be on your own self-esteem. This will be the topic of the first section. The reason this is so important is that ultimately your happiness is not dependent on having a woman in your life. It's not her, really; it's how she makes you feel about yourself. The reverse is also true, as we'll explore in female psychology review. The more you feel good about yourself before you start meeting and dating women, the more success you'll have, and the better prepared you'll be for when things get difficult.
There's the joke about the drunken guy who calls up his ex-girlfriend at 2:00 AM and tells her how he hates her, she's a bitch, an evil soul-stealer ... but there's still a chance if she wants to try again.
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