The Vicious Cycle of Male Sex Desire

Why do men give up all their power to women for sex? If you can understand the vicious cycle that unravels men's posture and confidence, you can overcome this limiting belief and have enduring success with women.

The hungry never get fed ... yet, those who do not want always have plenty.

Think about your patterns with women for a moment. If a man has been experiencing a lot of pain and little success, his thoughts are only that he wants dates and sex with women, and the more he desires it, the more it eludes him. The reason is simply because the more men want and obsess over getting women, the less they get.

The reverse situation is where you want to be, where you almost never think about when you'll get a date or have sex next, and that's when you'll be able to get it more. You only want sex so badly because you aren't getting it. This begins the vicious cycle of desire, moving in too fast and too strong, and subsequently not getting any, and the desire bumps up a notch.

And so on.

Let me give you an idea of what it's like from the other side. The man who is getting regular dates without all the front-loading of expectations and desires relaxes enough to appear desirable to women. As a result, more women are interested and give him a chance. He gets more relationship and sex needs satisfied, and he never ends up having to need sex. It already wants him. He isn't hungry, so he gets fed.

What's the trick here? How does a man get from one side of this cycle (desire-need-frustration-more desire) to the other?

You have to break the cycle and jump over. You have to make what is known as a cognitive leap, where you delay your gratification (not bury it or deny it, just store it away for a

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while) and give up your need for any kind of satiation. Some men do this by satisfying their passions somewhere else, like playing music or writing, or even working on cars, and they let their need for women almost disappear. Once they get to this state, they can then go out and just be with women without projecting their need. Women lower their guards around this kind of guy because he's washed the stink of desperation off.

Part of this gratification delay can be accomplished by understanding enough about the rules of the game you're in to give up the need for results. If you've ever been fishing, you know that you don't always reel in a fish with every line you cast. In fact, you rarely do. It's when you can cast the line and pull it in, time after time, not really caring if the line comes up empty, that you can then start to refine your bait, your intuition about where to cast and when, and know what to do when you do get one on the hook.

Continue reading here: The Comfort Factor and the Novelty Syndrome

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