Good Posture Ebook
There are three basic head positions. The first is with the head up (Figure 93) and is the position taken by the person who has a neutral attitude about what he is hearing. The head usually remains still and may occasionally give small nods. Hand-to-cheek evaluation gestures are often used with this position. When the head tilts to one side it shows that interest has developed (Figure 94). Charles Darwin was one of the first to note that humans, as well as animals, tilt their heads to one side when they become interested in something. If you are giving a sales presentation or delivering a speech, always make a point of looking for this gesture among your audience. When you see them tilt their heads and lean forward using hand-to-chin evaluation gestures, you are getting the point across. Women use this head position to show interest in an attractive male. When others are speaking to you, all you need do is use the head-tilted position and head nods to make the listener feel warm...
I Focus on your goals before you speak . This will motivate you, making your words feel real, which should make your gestures feel genuine, rather than coming across as rehearsed I Sell your message to yourself first . Ifyou believe what you're saying, then your body will fall into synchronization I Avoid exaggerations when you're trying to be convincing. The more you stress your point the more chance your gestures will let you down I Control your breathing and de-stress your body before you speak When pressure builds up your muscles tense, making natural-looking body language impossible Breathe out slowly to relax your body and give your hands and feet a little shake to relax the muscles in your arms and legs I If your shoulder muscles are tense, then your entire body will look awkward Drop them back and down and stretch your neck upward as this will unlock your posture
The most important part of dating for men is maintaining a good attitude, and a correct attitude. It's one thing to not be bitter when you face rejection and your fears with women, but it's another to make sure that you're keeping up your posture. In short, your posture is your overall status level with a woman. Your posture can range from total supplicating wimp on the far left end of the scale, and hardcore self-interested jerk on the far right. The tactic I'm about to teach you is exceptionally effective, as it communicates your posture right away. (This technique is also an excellent variation of the neg-hit or negative hit technique where you let a woman know she isn't getting any breaks for being attractive.) Used judiciously, The Point System will help you weed out the women with poor attitudes, as well as improve your posture in the eyes of the ones with good attitudes.
What we are really interested in is your body language. They may bring up hair and dress sense. All valuable, but let's just focus on body language for the moment. They must be honest and write it all down. Both positive and negative feedback at this stage is really valuable for your development. If they are negative, remember every intention has a positive outcome. In this context they might say you always walk with you head down, or you have bad posture. This is all good stuff, starting to build an image of yourself as you are today, through the eyes of others. Write them down in two columns, negative in one and positive in the other.
I Recognize that your responses to any scenario or transaction can be courtesy of your inner demons These are all natural, instinctive voices but your leader voice will need to be developed to control all these others to help achieve your own image goals I Now's the time to identify that leader voice. It will stand for logic and reason It will need to be able to take control in any emergency and it will need to be able to self-coach, reminding you of all you stand to gain and everything you could lose if you allow your child animal diva voices to take control . I The name of this voice or state is adult . I When you feel emotions taking over, focus on this adult state and allow it to steer your body language Think positively and tell yourself to expect positive outcomes Let this reflect in your posture and gestures I Visualize your adult self . Put a face to it and even a name to it, if it helps See it coping in an emergency
Being knowledgeable of body language grants greater control to those wishing to influence any conversational ambiance. Through our actions we can set the tone - positive or negative - of any negotiation, meeting or one-on-one conversation. A master of this art will always adopt an open, non-hostile body posture to encourage cooperation. Also, he will scrutinize his partner's body posture for signs of discomfiture in order to reassess topics that cause unease. Knowledge of body language minimizes conflict and allows conversationalists to be sensitive to each other's needs.
There's one more lesson to learn about your posture and walking style. The loser walking styles that you've observed resulted from the fact that those men felt unhappy, trapped, undesirable, worthless, and impotent and those feelings showed through in the way they walked.
But before attempting to lead or persuade the other person, find out first if you have successfully established rapport. Do this subtly at a nonverbal level by first synchronizing with some aspects of the other person's body language like facial expression, posture, or speech rate. Mirror that person briefly. After awhile, change your posture and wait to see if the other person responds. Rapport has been generated if the person moves to a mirror position of your new posture. If you get this complementary and positive response, it indicates that rapport exists and that persuasion efforts are primed for execution.
You're about to enter section covering engagement approaches for most of the situations you will encounter in the wild single's jungle. What we're going to cover here is a simulation of the situations where you're most likely to encounter with a woman, and how to begin your seduction. Each situation will be explained, as well as your likely goals given the circumstances, the approaches, and the dangers of each. Where it is relevant, I'll slip you some details to help you properly address your attire, your posture, etc.
Add in touch and voice inflection to sound very reasonable and soothing. Whatever you do, you want to avoid any hint of begging in your tone. If you sound like you're saying, Please, please sleep with me, you're going to lose all your posture. If you feel that you might succeed by using a begging tactic, you may win the battle, but you'll lose the war. You'll have succeeded in undermining your entire seduction attitude. It's far better to accept and learn from this failure than it would be to lose your dignity in the long run. And in reality, there is no failure in seduction - only improving your skills through experience.
Without looking at him, gradually shift your posture to erect then turn so your body is facing him. Pull your shoulders back slightly to make your breasts more prominent. Now, look directly at him. Continue to stare until he looks at you. When he does, hold his eyes for longer than socially appropriate, then smile briefly and look down in a slightly submissive way to break off eye contact. WHEN HE COMES OVER
For example, when you are with someone that is a friend, you often naturally mirror each other in body posture, language, even breathing and tonality. This is a natural instinctive reaction that helps the bonding process. But you can also CONSCIOUSLY applying it with women, and actually make them feel closer to you and increase rapport.
If youre interviewing someone never use the old trick of sitting at the corner of the table to avoid getting a barrier
Great for the home but in business they add years to your age by making your posture look too old folk's home I Never use a squeaky chair . I Never roll your chair around the office. I Chairs that rock or rotate are good but only in performance mode Too much rocking will look manic or psychotic Side-to-side rolling can look like stress I Perching on tables is great because it sits you higher than everyone else and implies leadership and energy However, all this evaporates if the table is unable to take your weight
You have not been dating but making friends. You do not need twenty-five female friends. You are so non-sexual that you do not initiate contact. You do not TRY to talk to a woman that leads them aroused. Heaven forbid that a woman might think that you want to bang her Your passive and cautious talking with them, your posture, the way how you don't look at her since she might see the truth in your eyes- these are a few of the MANY WAYS you have been dodging not her sexuality BUT YOUR OWN.
Both Mark and Julie are showing closed and disinterested body postures. Both have arms crossed and are guarded and both are looking away from each other. Clearly, there is no interest by either of them._ Both Mark and Julie are showing closed and disinterested body postures. Both have arms crossed and are guarded and both are looking away from each other. Clearly, there is no interest by either of them._ In this photograph Mark has a fairly awkward and aggressive body posture with his jaw and fists clenched. Julie isn't taking well to him as she has closed off her body and is leaning away from him. Her legs are crossed and her shoulder is forming a barrier toward him. While her neck is exposed she is blocking his view of it with her arm and is avoiding eye contact altogether by looking at the floor. Julie is not interested.
Warning It's very easy to get overexcited at the thought of using subliminal bonding techniques, but don't These tips are to be used subtly the minute you exaggerate them you get shown a yellow card for crassness above and beyond the call of duty Now before I let you in on a few trade secrets repeat after me I must remember to be subtle. I must remember to be subtle. I must remember to be subtle. I Postural echo, postural congruence, or mirroring. Like-bodied tends to look like-minded, so when in doubt just pick up on your partner or fellow speaker's body posture and pace and copy it What you're doing is mimicking the natural behavior of close friends who will automatically mimic one another when they meet or are in conversation If you like someone, you try to be like them, too This technique is called postural echo, mirroring, or mimicry It's a bit like walking up to someone who's already dancing and joining in with them You match the pace of their
Spinal Alignment - Think of your spine as a stack of coins. Each disc of your vertebrae should be balanced on top of the other, with your skull comfortable perched atop. The key is to become aware of your posture, which alone takes practice. I printed the words Sit up Straight next to my computer as a reminder and it worked for me. When you catch yourself slumping, imagine your head as a helium balloon pulling your spine straight. Try to keep your ribs and hips aligned with each other as much as possible. When you bend over, bend at the waist and slightly bend your knees, instead of curving your spine. It takes practice but basically it is a balance of keeping yourself upright without looking like a stiff jackass. You find your alignment and at the same time relax into it. To really get a feel of how your spine is supposed to be aligned, lay on the floor on your back and bend your knees. so your feet are planted on the floor. Take a few deep breaths. Improving your posture is...
Playing hard to get can sometimes put you back in the driver's seat with women. For example, you could display a carefree attitude by slouching lower in a seat, opening up your posture, and taking up more space than necessary to demonstrate dominance. This may excite certain women since you are displaying as a typical alpha male, but if you go overboard, it will turn women off. You can also tease by showing feigned disinterest in a woman by leaning or facing away. Showing your back or talking over a shoulder also raises your status. In effect, if she is interested she will compete for your attention and try to reopen your body posture. It creates interest in her because she is forced into chasing you instead of having you chase her, which can be a novel experience for an attractive woman. By this method you are displaying in a manner that makes you dominant and in demand. You can also do this by crossing your legs away from her, showing her the back of your shoulder, and turning your...
This is closely related to trust and perhaps has a more physical aspect to it. First establish safety by demonstrating body language that broadcasts I am not a threat, and then escalate that to verbal and non-verbal behavior that communicates I will protect you. Non-threatening body language consists of an open, relaxed body posture with palms facing upward, leaning away from her, and laughter. Scientists studying the origins of laughter now conclude that its evolutionary purpose is to communicate that danger is past. And so when you are laughing, especially in a group, at a very deep, unconscious level you are feeling the message, Relax, you're amongst friends (see Morreall, Taking Laughter Seriously). Nonverbal behavior open body posture lean away from her palms facing upwards look into her eyes as you speak and listen assume rapport go into the emotional state of the bond (see Rapport section above). Verbal behavior share a secret ask her about things that are important to...
It's important to note, though, that not everyone gets stressed when they lie because not everyone feels that sense of guilt A good liar is often someone who lies regularly and or believes it is right to tell lies . But the following are some ways in which you could catch a liar I Their breathing becomes more frequent and shallower. This can be visible, as you could start to see their chest begin to heave or vocal, you can hear breath-lessness in their voice I An adrenalin burst can cause lip licking and dry mouth. Lip licking can take several forms The funniest is the tongue-poke, which is when the tongue emerges from the middle of the lips, which can be a signal of rejection or disgust, like a baby rejecting food Licking the side of the mouth can mean enjoyment, though, or even flirting I Exaggerated swallowing. This is caused by tension in the neck muscles causing throat restriction Like breathing, you might either see this occur or hear the frequent pauses as they fight to...
Once you have really focused on the individual you're with, and decided what you want to communicate to that person, go over the checklist in the following table, comparing your posture and positioning to the items listed. Is your body saying I'm interested or Get me outta here
Creating complementary body language transactions isn't always useful, though If your best friend has a habit of raising her status by ordering you around and telling you what to do, you can take a complementary stance by adopting a subservient pose, dropping your posture, and doing what you're told, but unless you have a predilection for servitude you'll probably feel a building resentment each time you act compliant
The next time you attend a social function or go to a place where people meet and interact, take note of the number of people who have adopted the identical gestures and posture of the person with whom they are talking. This 'carbon copying' is a means by which one person tells the other that he is in agreement with his ideas and attitudes. By this method, one is non-verbally saying to the other, 'As you can see, I think the same as you, so I will copy your posture and gestures.'
This isn't the time to work on your posture and trying to appear confident. That kind of stuff needs to be worked on for days and weeks, everyday, before the date. Everyday life is your practice session, the time to implement tips, the date is your test. Of course, things like being confident, having good posture, having the right listen to talk conversation ratio, and being funny are important. However, the date is not the time to work on these types of things.
What happened Well, Martin panicked, pure and simple. He thought that Lana's reaction meant that she was mad at him (which she may or may not have been) and he proceeded to behave as if he needed her approval. This could stem back to many things, but in most guys it's an indication that they revere and worship women as almost superhuman beings, empowered with the ability to decide if a man is worthy or not. (I have even theorized that it goes back to a fear of making mommy mad at him.) But the real question goes back to the beliefs of guys like Martin. If you think that a woman's disapproval or her being mad at you somehow reflects on your self-worth, you will find it agonizing to keep your posture with them. Women do not want to be made to feel responsible for your (or anyone's) sense of happiness or well-being. If you react to their reactions, you demonstrate a need for approval - their approval - and it is very unattractive. You must begin to question and shed this belief as soon...
To achieve good posture and spatial dominance In question Think Roger Moore and his amazing single-brow raise, or two if your eyebrows don't work independently. This raise is often accompanied with a forward head tilt and shows that a person isn't sure, is doubtful, or is questioning of you or something you've said.
Talking positively helps you maintain an open posture, an attractive tone of voice, and an animated and attractive facial expression - see Figure 9-1. Negative language will close your posture - you may find your arms and or legs start crossing - and the quality of your voice will suffer. You start to close the conversation down.
You can use your posture to motivate, invigorate, uplift and even nourish yourself The Power Pose you're about to do will make you look better, feel healthier, and grow in confidence and self-esteem It's an instant body language make-over stretch your chest wide, looking confident or confrontational I How do you stand or sit when you're under pressure Does your posture become more compliant or more arrogant Do you curl up or does your chest widen out
Besides, most women aren't attracted to a man who is overweight and lazy because that is a direct indication of how he is as a lover. You want a woman to see you as a man she could be with physically. Even if somebody carries himself well and with good posture, it's an indication of a good lover - in both men and women.
The most important part of dating for men is maintaining a good attitude, and a correct attitude. It's one thing to not be bitter when you face rejection and your fears with women, but it's another to make sure that you're keeping up your posture. In short, your posture is your overall status level with a woman. Your posture can range from total supplicating wimp on the left end of the scale, and hardcore self-interested jerk on the far right. You are shooting for something a bit over to the right of center when you first start dating a gal, and you ease off until you are at a good equilibrium somewhere near the middle. The tactic I'm about to teach you is exceptionally effective, as it communicates your posture right away. (This technique is also an excellent variation of the neg-hit or negative hit technique where you let a woman know she isn't getting any breaks for being attractive.) Used judiciously, the Point System will help you weed out the women with poor attitudes, as well...
First adjust your stance so that your posture approximates hers. As you talk, gradually and carefully shift your posture to a more open position, one step at a time. Subconsciously, the other person often follows your lead and opens up to you because you made yourself vulnerable first. In the top photo, the man has adopted the same posture as the woman. In the middle photo, he has moved from completely closed to semi-open by uncrossing his arms and putting his hands in his pockets. In the bottom photo, he has become completely vulnerable by putting his hands behind himself. She has mirrored his posture.
This technique is effective in giving people the feeling they are with someone who is just like them. What you should do is emulate the way your target is sitting or standing. Don't imitate it, or you'll risk being figured out. Just subtly change your posture and stance to be a reflection of hers. If she's got her arm on the table, put yours there. If she's crossing her legs, cross yours the same. If she's tilting her head, tilt yours slightly. If you can, use similar gestures, and even similar words. These all work to deepen the affect of Hey You are just like me
If she has her arms crossed, you keep yours crossed. If she is facing you, square up to her. If she's holding her drink up, do the same. It's not that she will think that you two have so much in common as far as your standing posture, it's just that it makes seem that you two are on the same wavelength, that you two are agreeing on something.
Thanks for your question. It's an important one. The key to having a good conversation and building attraction through it is in making your conversation interesting and using humor and wit. In other words, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, but how you talk. Sharing your interesting opinions, being sarcastic, and teasing a woman will create many good feelings between the two of you if she is cool enough to handle it. And the topics don't matter. You can just randomly start telling her Hey, did you see this movie That actor is so good, he really got into the role which made me feel sorry for him or something like that. It's very important to understand and remember that your conversation DOESN'T need to be extrodinary. Normal, non-cliche conversation will be good enough if your posture, your voice and your body radiate relaxed energy and confidence.
Your posture and gait and facial expression serve as useful weeding out tools for women. These are quick and reasonably accurate ways for women to narrow the field, in much the same way that corporate human resource departments use r sum s to sift quickly through large numbers of job applicants.
Mark is playing the alpha male with his extremely open body posture. This position can sometimes be offensive to women, especially those not interested in dominant men. His body is taking up as much room as physically possible. His legs are spread with his left arm behind him and on the sofa opening himself up even further. If Mark was testing this position to verify its effectiveness, he should note that it has succeeded in securing Julie's interest. She has her head cocked at 45 degrees showing interest and is playing with her hair. Mark is playing the alpha male with his extremely open body posture. This position can sometimes be offensive to women, especially those not interested in dominant men. His body is taking up as much room as physically possible. His legs are spread with his left arm behind him and on the sofa opening himself up even further. If Mark was testing this position to verify its effectiveness, he should note that it has succeeded in securing Julie's interest....
So what is this test I'm talking about As you date, and understand the advice from other dating men and Don Juans, you know that self-confidence is perhaps the single most determining factor of how much a woman will respect you. It precedes almost everything in a relationship, and determines to a large degree what your posture and standing will be with her for as long as you're together.
Matches your posture From across the room, any smile is good, a definite sign of interest. The best smile is not a big, broad, friendly smile even though that's a great beginning. The smile you want to see is a sensual one. The person's eyes are narrowed and their mouth is only slightly open so their teeth are only partially seen. Hard to miss Extremely reliable when following any other signs of interest. MATCHES YOUR POSTURE ciprocate with a cluster of your own. Shift your posture to erect, slightly narrow your eyes, then, after you look away, adjust your tie.
He might also become boisterous and order people about. In reality, these men are simply making up for a lack of true confidence and are applying a mask to their personality. Taking up more room than necessary appears far more cocky than confident. The idea is to tread on the razor's edge between the two. Thus, you want to have some characteristics that an alpha male does, such as good posture, taking up (some) space, good voice tone, and so forth, but avoid things like taking up too much space and being too loud and overbearing.
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