The Secret to Happiness
A growing body of research on the economics of happiness proposes that material wealth is overrated. The problem we have found is that as (gross domestic product) has gone up, happiness doesn't go up with it, said David Blanchflower, a professor of economics at Dartmouth College.
One of the major gripes of passive men is that great looking women always reject them for jerks who mistreat them. Despite the best efforts of these wonderful, passionless men to adore every girl they meet and raise them high up on a pedestal, the best women always seem to gravitate to this hated town jerk instead. Since Mr. Bad Ass Jerk fails to grasp the magnitude of his good fortune, he eventually ends up abusing his goddess. What a tragedy. Blind to the power of her own great beauty, of course, goddess runs around kissing his ass and taking all the crap he can dish out until he finally dumps her, beats her up or ends up on extended holiday at the local state prison. If only she could have opened her eyes and seen fit to choose Mr. Passive instead -- her world could have been a paradise of love and happiness. She just doesn't get it though. But don't worry we still love her - no, adore her - anyway. We're nice, after all.
At the risk of sounding like one of the Pundits, I propose that the first place you should start working be on your own self-esteem. This will be the topic of the first section. The reason this is so important is that ultimately your happiness is not dependent on having a woman in your life. It's not her, really it's how she makes you feel about yourself. The reverse is also true, as we'll explore in female psychology review. The more you feel good about yourself before you start meeting and dating women, the more success you'll have, and the better prepared you'll be for when things get difficult.
Set aside at least fifteen minutes a day to study and read the gestures of other people, as well as acquiring a conscious awareness of your own gestures. A good reading ground is anywhere that people meet and interact. An airport is a particularly good place for observing the entire spectrum of human gestures, aspeople openly express eagerness, anger, sorrow, happiness, impatience and many other emotions through gestures. Social functions, business meetings and parties are also excellent. Having studied the art of body language, you can go to a party, sit alone in a corner all evening like a wallflower and have an exciting time just watching other people's body language rituals Television also offers an excellent way of learning nonverbal communication. Turn down the sound and try to understand what is happening by first watching the picture. By turning the sound up every five minutes, you will be able to check how accurate your non-verbal readings are and before long it will be...
Music What You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be 'perfect' When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. When you play in a symphony or band, you obviously let the director place you in your role. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard. Compare that guy to the 'perfect player' and the player with thrill will always, always win.(To you guys still scared about dating and all, consider this put fun into the woman and fun comes out. Put happiness into the woman and happiness comes out. What do you try to do instead Do you try to be so 'perfect' that she will go crazy over you Where a...
What can I say about this post that hasnt been said before Simply put its a work of art This is the post that probably
No, gentlemen, the disgrace of men is in not embracing your true nature following your passion and, thus, loving life. Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't spend your time chasing girls invest it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.
Becker (1992) conceptualizes people's search for mates in terms of a marriage market, in which the participants seek partners to maximize their own happiness or welfare by exchanging what they have for what they want (in Becker's words to maximize their expected well-being ). Each person carries a certain value on the market, which we can consider to be a weighted average of characteristics like beauty, intelligence, social status, wealth, and fertility. Logically, people should seek the best partner they can afford we would all like to have someone who is a 10, but a 7 can realistically expect only another 7. Not all 7's possess the same mix of qualities. One might make up for lower attractiveness with a greater intellect one shops for the preferred combination of qualities. Indeed, single people who use formal marriage market intermediaries, such as personal ads or human matchmakers, sometimes refer to the process of buy ing -a-boy or selling oneself as the right product (Ahuvia &...
Within this area- the Mount of Venus - I have marked a grid of intersecting lines with an arrow pointing to it from the letter A . The mount of Venus area of the palm is devoted to one's love of life and sometimes shows a fullness to symbolize the depth of love of life. When this mount is high, fleshy and very full, the person is full of passion for life, most of the events that happen in their lives and the people who are within their life. The grid or grille as palmists would call this design found at A in figure 3a, can tell you that you have walled off your heart from others lessening your attraction to connect with happiness both internal and external. This grid is usually not found on a high or full mount of Venus. This guarding of the heart, could be happening because you are still attached to someone from the past. If this grille design is simple - which means it is made up of just a few vertical and horizontal lines - it can mean that you are devoted to your present love...
- SMILE Practice your smile in front of a mirror if you have to, but develop your ability to show a good smile. This one behavior says that you have a core of happiness more than anything else, and it will rub off on her. Smiling also says you're secure with yourself, and you have a sense of humor.
No, gentlemen, the disgrace of men is in not embracing your true nature following your passion and, thus, loving life. Women are to enhance your life, not to be your life. So to the Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. To the Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction. Don't SPEND your time chasing girls, INVEST it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life.
In a previous chapter, we mentioned that one good reason for taking your time is that it gives you both an opportunity to build the tension. Of course, there are many other reasons to wait. To begin with, when you let yourself get confused by passion or blinded by lust, there's a danger that you will either enter into a sexual relationship with the wrong person, or with the right person at the wrong time. Either one of these possibilities can have serious consequences for your happiness.
Something that's below your threshold for happiness. That's why I talked about comfortable wimps and uncomfortable, tough MEN earlier in this book it isn't easy to get a relationship set up the way it needs to be. You've got to suck it up and crash through all the bad feelings, knowing that someday it will all be worth it. Remember, the wimps will bail at the first sign of rough going and seek comfort. Men will not settle for anything less than what they feel they deserve. This is where you will earn your stripes in the war of love and romance.
Men, I don't want to imply that you are completely responsible for your woman's happiness. Happiness comes from within a person it is not something that is bestowed upon her or him by someone else. No matter how much you care for your partner, you can't make her happy if she hasn't already gotten a good start on the process. But I can tell you that if you meet her basic emotional needs, she will be happy with you, and she will bend over backwards (in a manner of speaking) to make you happy with her in return. Here are four of her most compelling requirements for happiness in an intimate relationship
When you make your woman feel special she'll be more trusting and comfortable will you. It will make it easier for her to open up to you and feel like she can share her thoughts and feelings with you. She'll feel like her happiness is truly important to you and that will give you great partner-potential in her eyes.
Whatever your reasons were for feeling that you needed the help I've presented in Without Embarrassment, I only hope that you won't let them get the best of you now and turn you into a vengeful seeker of female scalps for your trophy case. Hey, if you have to go through a few women for practice before you feel the time is right to zero in on your perfect soulmate, then go for it. I laid out what your criteria for happiness must be and how you should stand up for your principles like a man and not compromise. Just On that heartfelt note I will take my leave of this long-winded treatment on a subject that is pivotal to any real chance of happiness that you or I can ever hope to find. Without a woman in your life, all your other accomplishments will seem hollow and pointless. I don't need to tell you any of this, you already know it.
Your sense of well-being and happiness is so deep and so easy and so comfortable that even when you're not thinking about your beloved, your sense of fulfillment permeates your being. You actually concentrate better, work more efficiently, and are more resilient, but your unconscious is aware that something very cool is happening, and those love songs just go directly from your unconscious mind to your lips without ever having to disturb your intellect. This love stuff is working for you on all cylinders.
One thing that I see a lot is when a guy makes his girlfriend the centre of his life. This happens when the girl is your only source of happiness. So when you get her, you build your whole life around her. This also means, by default, that she is controlling your whole life because she is aware of the power she wields basically the power you surrendered to her. Sooner or later, she will become unhappy, because of the feeling that she is controlling you, and that she is the source of your happiness, is the opposite of what she wants. She wants a guy who controls her, and that the guy and his life are her source of happiness. If you place them at the centre of your life, you are giving them unbelievable power and control. If the whole of your life is built around a girl and she leaves, (as usually happens) the whole of your life disappears. Don't put yourself in this precarious position. A far better way is to build your life so that the lifestyle you live makes you happy and girls are...
What you want in life, then how will ANY woman with ANY judgement at all find you attractive no matter WHAT words you say If you care so little for your own life and happiness that you won't take a SINGLE step to improve your lot, then nothing I can teach you to SAY will help you one bit. NO woman would find such a man attractive.
Because they know what to expect from them. It's the namby-pamby, passive-aggressive guy that they can't trust. And so the most potent way of establishing trust in woman's mind is trusting yourself and being comfortable with who you are. This reminds me of Nathaniel Branden's definition of self-esteem To trust yourself and know that you are deserving of happiness. This all goes back to our discussion of being a man. Re-read that section. In the meantime, what communicates your total self-acceptance is congruence - a total alignment of thought and physiology. That means that if you're attracted to a woman, you project that and are comfortable with it. If you're happy, you laugh. If you're not, you frown. You are what you are, and you expend no energy misrepresenting yourself or your emotions. That's all you really need to establish trust and convey that solid, unchanging core of you. On the way there, we can also use the following guidelines.
You don't think you are good enough, have the right things, do the right things, etc. to let a woman into your life. But you do You loners aim at your comfortable world but do so at sacrificing long term happiness. LET A WOMAN INTO YOUR LIFE You'll probably enrich her life more then you think, and she will definately enrich yours
Remember your time is limited and if you give something good to her you must receive good things from her at least to the same degree. You love a happy life, comfort maybe you sacrifice yourself for your native Country or for Science for free, but if you sacrifice yourself for her, set a high price for the sacrifice
At any point in life, what you think you want may vary. And often what we think we want doesn't really fulfill us when we get it. Daniel Gilbert, a psychology professor at Harvard, studies the phenomenon of affective forecasting how happy (or sad) we think something will make us once we get it, versus how much happiness (or sadness) it actually brings to our lives. As it turns out, we're quite bad at affective forecasting, always overestimating how much things will make us happy (or unhappy) in the long term. However, your values tend to remain constant. That's because values are deep, unconscious motivators that give the general sense of purpose and direction to your life. Although values are the strongest drivers of our overall behavior, we often don't know about them until they are violated, much like how we only notice the stomach when we have a stomach ache. There are two more ways of figuring out what your values are. One is by noticing events that fulfill them, and the other is...
What happened Well, Martin panicked, pure and simple. He thought that Lana's reaction meant that she was mad at him (which she may or may not have been) and he proceeded to behave as if he needed her approval. This could stem back to many things, but in most guys it's an indication that they revere and worship women as almost superhuman beings, empowered with the ability to decide if a man is worthy or not. (I have even theorized that it goes back to a fear of making mommy mad at him.) But the real question goes back to the beliefs of guys like Martin. If you think that a woman's disapproval or her being mad at you somehow reflects on your self-worth, you will find it agonizing to keep your posture with them. Women do not want to be made to feel responsible for your (or anyone's) sense of happiness or well-being. If you react to their reactions, you demonstrate a need for approval - their approval - and it is very unattractive. You must begin to question and shed this belief as soon...
The 3 girlfriends who I treated this way became the ones with the higher interest level. In fact, I still get phonecalls from these chicks Why do they sweat me so Simple. Because I never gave them my personal power. My happiness did not depend on them and I didn't let myself fall under their control. I showed love but didn't let their moods tantrums sway me.
Some argue that the ultimate aim of everything we do in life is to get more love. You could be reading this book because you want more love from women, more love from your friends (in the form of approval), or more love from yourself. Of those three, only one is directly under your control - the love you have for yourself. And generally speaking, having greater success with women won't make your friends like you any better (not the good friends in any case). And chances are that if you are not happy with yourself right now, no amount of success with women will ever make up for that. In fact, it only gets harder when you have what you thought would make you happy and still find happiness elusive. So make a decision right now to be comfortable in your own skin and to accept yourself completely exactly as you are right now. Why Because there is no time when it's not right now. Now is the only time. And true fulfillment can only come from sharing your...
Tip 5 Deal with the fact that seduction must always be a form of benevolent manipulation in order for it to work
Yes, a seducer is a manipulator but a benevolent one whose mission is to bring love and happiness to the women of the world A noble cause indeed. I mention this only because some people have a problem with the notion of seduction. They believe it's all some kind of evil mind-controlling magic whose goal is to make another person do something for the seducers' benefit that they normally wouldn't do. That's a ridiculous bunch of crap probably spread by man-hating feminists (how the hell are people supposed to get together Should we go back to arranged marriages Would that suit these miserable trolls ). The big idea behind seduction is simply to sell your male goods in as favorable a light as possible to a member of the opposite sex that you are attracted to. You're goal is to leave any woman that you encounter feeling better about herself for having met you than she likely felt before your paths crossed.
Each level is just a more complex evolutionary reaction to dealing with stimuli. First we developed basic responses to current body sensations like hunger and touch, then we developed the more complex response to past sensations in emotions like happiness and sadness, and finally we developed the startling ability to respond to the possible future with thought. What's important about this hierarchy is that each level is built on the lower one .
So she has plans for her poor husband. Soon after their marriage, she begins to wield her sexual tool like a club, hounding the bewildered sucker into greater earning power. She doesn't pout, like Lucy Ricardo, brattily crying and stamping her foot when Ricky says he can't afford to buy her a fur coat and withholding sex is too benign a weapon. Instead, she attacks his male ego, shaming him, belittling him, flogging him remorselessly to find a higher-paying job. jabbing an accusatory talon at him, she snivels that he's not a real man unless he finds the means to support her in style. He is a loser . He has ruined her life . Going home for him has become a living, sexless hell. What happened to the nice girl he married, who swore that all she ever wanted from a man was respect Love, which had never really been an issue in the first place, has fled in disgust. And when he straggles home after his new 60- or 70-hour work week, does she offer sympathy, or do they talk about their plans...
The problem is that although faces do express genuine feelings, any facial expression that occurs naturally can also be produced artificially for a social purpose. Smiles and frowns, to take the most obvious examples, can be spontaneous expressions of happiness or anger, but they can also be manufactured as deliberate signals, such as frowning to indicate doubt or displeasure, smiling to signal approval or agreement, etc. Feelings can also be hidden under a 'social' smile, a 'stiff upper lip' or a blank, 'inscrutable' expression.
One thing is for certain, women go NUTS over a guy who keeps his boyhood charm as women want an ESCAPE. They do not want to hear your views on the world. They want to have the happiness and fun of their childhood back (as everyone does ). They will FIGHT for the rare men who truly live like this (this also explains the mystery why uneducated men often seem to do BETTER with women than many men with PhDs who are so 'smart' they intellectualized life out of existence).
The media constantly draws and redraws a fake norm that people should strive to achieve, and are ostracized if they deviate from it. In countries based around consumption, the idea of non-satiation rules supreme, and people are told to be never satisfied. You'll be happier with a faster car, a better razor, the most fashionable suit, the new soda that's got a great taste while being very low in carbs So, those are my 'primary three.' I think that those three mindsets are pretty much necessary for a truly happy life. Anyone can improve in those three areas, and improvement in any of those three areas will translate to improvements EVERYWHERE else in your life.
One rather dubious aspect of patterns is the so-called weasel phrases. For example the phrases .these values are below me pronounced BLOW ME , .a feeling of happiness pronounced hap-PENIS , .in you're mind pronounced YOU'RE MINE , .thoughts flowing in a new direction pronounced NUDE ERECTION , the sky is so beautiful pronounced THIS GUY IS SO BEAUTIFUL - these double-meaning pronunciations are
I would love to share this with you and really contribute to your happiness notice the setup for reciprocity . I invite you to visualize a mental screen much like a movie screen, in front of you. As you see this mental screen, allow yourself to see your favorite flower. And, as you see this flower, allow the full sensory rich detail of the flower to be on the mental screen. See it in vivid color, each detail of the flower springing forth. Now, if I were to ask you which type of flower you are seeing, what would you say was the type of the flower (good way to learn her favorite flower)
Speed seduction will not give you happiness. You want to be accepted for who you are, not because you memorized patterns and lines from an internet website. Being yourself does not mean being a shy sniveling nice guy, it also includes self improvement. You cannot 'act' yourself into happiness. Away with the NLP Away with the Speed Seduction Being yourself may give you more failures in dating, but it is the only path to true happiness.
Do not try to get into a woman's head. I've done so and I've wasted countless time in the process. Women are meant to be loved, not understood. If you understand them, you can never love them. So choose to love them it's a happier life than that of a dried up philosopher.
I would love to share this with you and really contribute to your happiness notice the set-up for reciprocity . I invite you to visualize a mental screen much like a movie screen, in front of you. As you see this mental screen, allow yourself to see your favorite flower. And, as you see this flower, allow the full sensory rich detail of the flower to be on the mental screen. See it in vivid color, each detail of the flower springing forth. Now, if I were to ask you which type of flower you are seeing, what would you say was the type of the flower (good way to learn her favorite flower)
The premise could have been anything. It could have been about how we ought to follow our dreams in life. Only then can we be truly happy and free and spend times with those whom we love. Segue transition into the little boy who tours around country playing for crowds for little money, but lives a happy life. The father son team lives a modest life. They do not own cars, TVs, Computers, laptops or other modern gadgets, but they live a happy life where they have the gift of spending quality time together. How many people do you know here who wish to have had that sort of a quality time with their fathers.
In the meantime you have fun with other women if you want to, or devote yourself to your favorite hobbies. It depends on you. Your message is My value is superior to yours and to that of other men. I have an interesting and happy life. Come share it with me if you want to.
Women and Happiness You say My emotions are undone and you turn to a woman. But a woman is not a giant breast that fills itself with milk. Nor are the lacteal veins of such woman supplied with 'happiness' from a source outside herself. What you put into the woman is what you get out. And your view of women stuffed with this 'happy juice', this milk that swells the giant breast you yearn to suckle, is but a mirage, one that will lead you off the cliff. You have your 'emotional owies' and want to suck on femininity (no matter how much the femininity dribbles down your body) to nourish your 'pains'. Women don't want to be your mother. When guys go at women from this position, it is no wonder they fail (as they deserve to).
Another of the NLP theories that is most relevant to seduction is the ability for you to induce states in a woman. A state is an emotional and physiological sensation she experiences, such as contentment, happiness, excitement, sexual arousal. This theory states that just as you can get an extraordinary sensation of happiness from, say, running in a marathon, you can also experience that same feeling by imagining the experience that induces that state. In other words, you can feel the thrill of a marathon just by remembering and reliving a previous experience you had running in one where you felt that same sensation. o Calm Contentment o Uniqueness Specialness o Happiness Fun o Intrigue Curiosity o Excitement Confusion o Arousal Impatience o Sexual desire To get her experiencing happiness and fun, ask her What kind of things do you like to do to have fun And, of course, you follow up and ask What is it about that sport hobby that is so fun for you What does that feel like
Happiness is inside YOU, not in other people. or stuff that you need to buy. That is exactly society wants you to think to look outside yourself to others or things you need to buy for your happiness. But this can only bring temporary happiness. Most girls out there are unhappy with their lives and they search for a man to make them happy. Actually they search for a happy man, to jump into his life, and enjoy his life. That is why you must focus on yourself first, before you bring someone else in your life.
Within this context of safety, partners also need confidence in their ability to negotiate and resolve conflicts. It is essential to have a mutual commitment to finding solutions that satisfy both parties. If I have faith that my partner is invested in my happiness and well-being, then I can be free to communicate honestly without the fear of being taken advantage of, ridiculed, degraded or abandoned.
Whatever you do, don't live in the present living in the present is a good prescription for happiness and therefore contrary to your plans if your goal is being miserable or spreading misery. Instead, compare your date or yourself to others. By doing that, you move out of the moment and the intimacy the two of you are sharing and widen the circle in an unpleasant, judgmental way.
I've had this happen to me numerous times. It can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. But it can also be nightmarish and hellish, depending on the type of girl you get involved in. More than that, though, your own mental state can play a big part in the happiness of your relationship.
We often see a high ranking politician standing behind a lectern with his arms tightly folded across his chest (defensive) and chin down (critical or hostile), while telling his audience how receptive and open he is to the ideas of young people. He may attempt to convince the audience of his warm, humane approach while giving short, sharp karate chops to the lectern. Sigmund Freud once noted that while a patient was verbally expressing happiness with her marriage, she was unconsciously slipping her wedding ring on and off her finger. Freud was aware of the significance of this unconscious gesture and was not surprised when marriage problems began to surface.
A man breaks his back to support his wife, who stays at home yakking on the phone all day or watching Oprah, or maybe she has a part-time job-and all the time she's in a bitchy mood because he's 'neglecting' her. So the fool goes out and buys roses or something to placate her, like the world revolves around her personal happiness. It should be the other way around-she should be on her knees every night, waiting for him to come home, with her mouth open and ready, so she can thank him for the easy ride he's giving her. Women have it made and all they do is bitch about it.
For example, if my girlfriend flakes on me, of course I will be pissed off, but I will never act pissed off or angry. I will calmly state that I don't respect what she did and that it will not happen again. For everything that she does that I do not like, I tell her she can do it only 3 times the first time, the last time and never again My rules are strict. People will enjoy the time they spend with me. In return I will do everything I can for their happiness. I will teach them and have fun with them but there are some rules you must follow, otherwise you won't see me ever again.
That we all perform to stimulate a state of happiness or relaxation aggressive gestures like slamming down phones or stomping out of the room when we don't get our own way, or even childlike manipulative gestures, attempting to look cute, sweet, and submissive when we want to be liked or to get someone to do something for us
Some guys look for a girlfriend as incentive for them to get a life, as someone to push them to get rich, and for someone to make themselves happy. These fools do not even know what women are. They think women are some type of GENIE that grants them wishes such as wealth, popularity, and happiness. Now we know the convoluted brain where such shows like 'Bewitched' and 'I Dream of Jeannie came from. Many people live through life backwards. At the threshold of youth, they look on older age with disgust, fear, and boredom. I must have my fun NOW, they say. So off they go, making famine of time where abundance lies, spending their time rather than investing it. When they get older, their future is exactly as they thought. Since they planted no seeds of talent or skill, they had nothing to harvest so their happiness starved. With this future, they think they were right because their future came as predicted. So then they spread the error by advising youth to