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Beliefs can be changed via NLP or reframes, and requires a bit more experience. A person must understand fully the concept of reframes, and be somewhat aware of their internal processes.

Once you become aware that you have a limiting belief, you must be disciplined enough to catch yourself every time you think it, or feel the feeling associated with it. At that point you must either reframe that belief or replace it with something more functional.

So for example, if you find yourself thinking on a regular basis "I need to get laid." That is something you would want to change, since it presupposes you aren't currently getting laid. A typical reframe I would use is something like "How hot is the next woman I sleep with going to be?" Then the trick is to retrain yourself to think this every time you catch yourself having the dysfunctional belief.

At the other end of the spectrum, you have identity. This is any self-statement such as "I am weak" or "I am damaged / defective". These reside far below conscious awareness and require more powerful tools to access.

One such tool, called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) uses bilateral stimulation (stimulates both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously) to unlock stuck states while directly addressing a persons self statements.

This type of therapy is usually administered by a professional or someone trained with a lot of experience. This change work is the fastest, but can be a delicate procedure and can cause massive emotional upheaval in the client. This therapy's main use was to treat Vietnam veteran's traumatic experiences from the war, and it was found that one session could replace 10-15 years of traditional psychotherapy.

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Every time I go out, I need to drink in order to do well.

The drinking thing - what's basically happening is that you've got a stuck state while sober. You should focus on melting that state.

Also it has a lot to do with discipline and your belief that you need to drink. No matter how much inner work we do, your first few nights sober will SUCK. It's because you have built your skill set into the familiar state of drinking.

It's like if you always do your work at the office, and someone comes to you and wants work done at your home, it will be difficult for you. Not only will you not have the same resources at home, but it won't feel familiar.

It may feel as if you're "starting over". But it's worth it. Notice that when you get intoxicated, you can't remember the things you said to people, so your learning curve is being slowed down greatly.

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