Listen More Talk Less

Communication is such an important factor in all relationships, business and personal alike, that it should come as no surprise that we need to discuss it here as well. What is communication, after all? It is the two-way interaction that occurs, both verbally and non-verbally. What is said with actions is as important, if not more so, than what is said with words. But here we're going to focus our attention on the importance of verbal communication and what it will mean for your relationship. Keep in mind that when I talk about how things affect your relationship, I'm mainly concerned with your success in the realm of seduction.

Communication with words is something we all do on a daily basis. But, just like when you're asked to give an impromptu speech, being asked to communicate in a particular situation just makes many of you cringe, lock up, and find yourself at a loss for words. Why? Mainly because when you have to think about what to say, you suddenly become concerned about what you're saying. But if you just let it happen without any expectations, somehow everything works out a whole lot better.

That being said, think of your past relationships and where communication failed you. Was it something you said in a particular conversation that you came to regret later? Or was it something she said that you either treated as unimportant or simply didn't hear at all? Or could it have been a time when you should have said something to her, but didn't, and the results were equally regrettable? Surely all of these have happened to nearly everyone at one time or another. The trick is to not let these past failures define how you communicate now and in the future of your current relationship.

Talking is something we all think about when we hear the word 'communication'. But, unfortunately, that first thought is the wrong one if you're looking for a good relationship with potential for romance. Talking will get you nowhere, and worse, it may cause things to fall backward or even to fall apart. When you talk, you're expecting someone else to listen. But what about the listener? When does she get the chance to be heard? That's why it's so much better to change your view from one of simply talking, to one where you see communication as the carrying on of a conversation.

Conversations, by even the simplest definition, are all about the two-way communication where ideas, thoughts, and opinions are not simply expressed, but shared as well. It's give and take. And isn't that what the whole concept of a relationship is based on. It's all about exchanges, the giving and the taking by both you and her. What's more, you'll find that when you give, you get much more in return. The exchange of a conversation will offer you ever-increasing rewards, provided you participate in the conversation and give it the importance it deserves.

The trick to conversation is that you have to be willing to hear things that you may not necessarily want to hear. If you don't already possess the qualities of empathy, compassion, concern, and a desire to be helpful, this may be a very good time for you to start working on developing those qualities. They are vital to communication, especially when you are communicating in a relationship. If you want her to develop a trust in you, and remember that trust is crucial if you hope to succeed with romance, you're going to need the communication skills I've named in order to let her know you care about what she's saying and that you want to be there for her.

But wait. There's a problem that comes up far more often than you may realize. You've probably already experienced it at some point in the past. You're having a conversation, everything is going well, and then you get stuck on some point you just can't let go of. You've just derailed the conversation, and now it's just you talking. Trust me, there are few things that serve as more of a put-off than to have a conversation turn into a speech all about how one person feels about something, The exchange has died, and so has the mood. Avoiding this snare is a little tough sometimes, but it can be done. Just remember that while you are communicating verbally, she is still communicating physically.

Body language can often be the key to knowing whether you've derailed a good conversation. A frown on her face may be a good clue that you've said something to make her uncomfortable. If she starts looking toward the door, or looking at her watch, you should know what that means. She's losing interest and you'd better get the conversation moving again. Not always, but most often, her body-language can be a great guide to how you're doing with the conversation. One of the most important things to note about body language is that it varies from person to person. What looks like an expression of discomfort or frustration on one face may very well be concentration on another.

So body language is certainly not a type of communication you can learn from a textbook. It is something you're going to have to learn from the individual. Yes, it is true that some expressions are universal and mean the same thing coming from anyone, but don't take the risk of misinterpreting those less-obvious expressions. It's better to just get to know her, and along the way you'll learn what her body language is telling you. Besides, knowing her body language and responding to it is an excellent way to show her how much she matters to you and just how much you're paying attention to her. So, guys, if you want to impress her, this is one way where you can't go wrong.

Another thing to remember that can serve you well is to not be the one who always starts the conversation. When you start the conversation, you're the one picking the topic to talk about. You can't read minds, so chances are you're not going to hit on the subjects that are going to really catch her interest. This is another give and take exchange for you to keep in mind. You can start conversations, sure, but make sure you leave room for her to do the same. It's a great way to get to know her, and she'll appreciate it.

If you take nothing else from these pages, remember that women want to be heard. They don't want to be talked to all the time, and never get a chance to express their own opinions and views with equal time. As you've heard me say before, it's all about sharing. Relationships are two-way streets, to borrow from a cliché, and you must be willing to allow traffic to flow down those streets without interruption. The end result will be well worth the effort. She'll develop a sense of trust and respect for you that won't come from lecture-style talking. And, once again, that trust and respect is what will lead you to success in romance and seduction.

Signs Of Attraction

Signs Of Attraction

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