That got me thinking about the nature of pain, and how it functions in dating and seduction.
The most important thing for a man to do as he learns how to handle women is to keep his head on straight. Keep your attitude healthy, because that will be the ultimate weapon in this war of the sexes. You must keep yourself on the positive upward attitudes of success. The way you handle your pain in the singles world is critical to your overall success.
How do you view pain?
Do you avoid pain at all costs? Do you find yourself seeking only pleasure and staying away from circumstances that could potentially cause you pain?
You see, you have to be willing - and even a little eager, as sick as that sounds -to go through a little discomfort to get to your goals with women. Men don't have the built-in sexual instincts that women are brought up with. Women study this stuff every week, from Teen magazine to Cosmopolitan, to know how the game works and how to win. They've always had the upper hand.
Guys just start out at a natural disadvantage in dating and sex. As young men, we focus on being strong providers and enjoying ourselves, playing football and 'reading' Penthouse from time to time. Our sexual education is mostly comprised of a few bad porno movies, or our embarrassed father trying to explain the birds and the bees. (I remember my dad's attempt was pretty awful.)
Women, on the other hand, get busy as soon as they discovered that Ken dolls weren't anatomically correct, and they learn how to collaborate with other women about the drama of their relationships for enjoyment. A woman is pre-disposed to enjoy drama by the makeup of her genes, whereas a guy likes calm and smooth waters.
To get better at the game of dating and seduction, think of it being something like when Michael Jordan decided he wanted to switch from basketball to baseball. Remember how he tried for the major leagues, but he wasn't quite good enough and had to go back to the minors to prove himself? You need to understand that you have to go back to the minor league, too. You need to get a few bumps and bruises, and then you can deal with her in the major leagues. (Unlike Michael, you can and will make it to the major leagues in this sport if you keep learning and improving.)
So how do you manage the pain? First of all, realize that the only pain you feel when you're out there in the "dating" world is all self-induced. YOU are the one making yourself feel bad or inadequate 99% of the time. Understand that most women NEVER do the things you are afraid of just for walking up and talking to her, like slapping you or throwing a drink in your face. As long as you're not a complete idiot and don't come on too strong, women will give you a chance almost all of the time. All this rejection you are so worried about is invented, and absolutely none of it reflects on you as a person.
So how do you contend with the constant disappointment and mixed messages?
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