The Myth of the Pickup Artist and The Player

We let a lot of terms enter our vocabulary without ever really questioning them. Have you ever asked yourself what a "Pick-up" artist is? I hear about "picking up" women all the time, as if you drive around in a beat up Dodge truck, looking for lonely lost women to throw in the back. Pick-up artist is a term that is known only by its connotation in slang: "A stranger with whom casual acquaintance is made, usually in anticipation of sexual relations."

Interesting. Isn't that the reason all men and women get together, when you get right down to it? We're all strangers until we meet, and then we get more familiar. I think what makes this term bad in connotation is that women interpret it to mean a guy who is out for nothing but sex.

I've also heard it used to refer to any guy who is trying just to meet a new woman. "He was picking up on me," is what a lot of woman say to describe when a guy just strikes up conversation. Yet another way to make you feel bad about the natural process of men and women getting together. Don't let it affect you. If you do this work right, through the use of teasing and charged language, she won't care that you're "picking up" on her.

Another category of men women like to label is the "Player." Women use the term so liberally that you would be hard pressed to get any kind of common definition from them. I have personally asked dozens of women and never been able to get them to describe in any concrete terms, but I can read between the lines.

Women use the term "Player" to label men they think might be dating several women and who are looking for quick sexual relationships to fulfill their own needs. He's a man that women are afraid to feel attraction for because he doesn't give them Trust. However, they are still attracted to him because of his ability and charm.

When women label men "players," it also serves to further instill guilt in other guys, to make us think we should only seek and date one woman at a time. Women rely on the vague definition of the term to scare us into thinking this is a Bad Man, and we willingly go along with it.

Men often shy away from this term, too, thinking that it means a man of poor moral character who beds women indiscriminately. The truth is that men admire the Player for his abilities with women, but instead of learning from what he is doing right to increase women's attraction, they write him off as a gigolo, another type of hustler who just has the "knack" with women.

The moral of this lesson is to beware the term "player" in all its forms. It's misleading, and often downright deceptive, relying on connotation rather than definition.

Later, I'll show you how to handle the situation if she questions you about being a player.

Continue reading here: The Cycle of Opportunity

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