Things to Avoid Talking About

- Any subject that puts you down, or makes fun of you or your weaknesses.

Don't joke or make fun of yourself or your looks with her because it will look as if you're looking to get sex from her out of pity. This will repel her right away, guaranteed. The only way you can pull this kind of joke off is if you make it clear that you're being sarcastic about your looks. I suggest you avoid any self-deprecation. I usually joke with women in the other direction. When I have a sunburn or a pimple, I'll say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." Given with the right attitude, this shows her you're self-confident.

- Any negative, violent, or horrible news stories (tragedy, death, murder, rape, war)

- Nothing frightening, like ghost stories or horror movies

- Avoid any sexual topics that she didn't initiate. If she starts talking about sex, you can, too, but let her be the one to push the topic. Just because she mentions how her roommate's sex screams keep her up at night from the noise doesn't mean you should then ask her about how loud she screams. Play with the topic of sex, so that it seems like you're not going to let her take you in that direction. Tease her about having a dirty mind, or that she's "only got one thing on her mind." If you seem slightly pure and slightly corruptible at the same time, you'll allow her to exercise her dark and devious side a little. Women so rarely get to do this with men. (Role Reversal.)

- Don't use put-downs. I said before that you need to be teasing her, and you also should know that there is a boundary you can cross over from playful teasing to outright insults. Teasing always ends with a smile and a way for her to understand that you are just joking. Don't tell her that her dress looks cheap. Instead, tell her you're not sure if you like that color on her (just like in Tease-to-Please which we'll explain shortly). Then, let her start selling you on the rest of her wardrobe. (Remember: Don't try to impress her; let her try to impress you.)

This is where learning how to use Occupation with her will help you immensely. Make sure you're watching your target's responses to your teasing. If she seems very easily offended or hurt, and you know for a fact you are not insulting her, lean back for a while and take a look at the situation. You might have a woman that is just uptight. If you think you have a bitch on your hands, you should consider moving on. She will hold your attention because she's difficult and a challenge, but you'll spend most of your valuable seduction time trying to excite a woman that is always angry and contentious.

- No Dirty Jokes. I'd like to think this is obvious, but a lot of guys get pulled into a false sense of security when they hit it off well with a woman and start to think they can treat her like a buddy of theirs. Like a guy buddy. You have to show some restraint and never tell any dirty jokes, or even jokes that are a little off-color.

I used to like using jokes (clean ones) as a way of demonstrating my sense of humor to women, but then I noticed that women generally don't enjoy jokes the way men do. Women like humor that's part of the natural flow of conversation. I recommend you keep the humor isolated to your observations and your teasing of her. It's the safest course in seduction.

- Do Not Swear. The use of profanity is almost epidemic now. Everyone swears, and every year that goes by, they even get away with saying more and more on television. I've dated women who swore so much that when they go into a bar, sailors come running out.

I once had an eighth-grade English teacher that made a lasting impression on me by explaining that when everyone uses foul language all the time, it ceases to have any real affect. She was right. Those people that curse all the time end up seeming a bit shallow, as if the only impact they can have is by being as vulgar as they can. My teacher's point was not that you should never swear, but that you use it as a little bit of spice when it's needed. Not all the time.

Remember: A true gentleman does not need to swear. He can make his point with intelligence instead of vulgarity.

- Do Not Contradict. No matter what she may say to you, remember that you're not in this game to be right; you're in it to get laid. If she says she likes country music, do not tell her that you don't like country music. Just ask her why she likes it. Guys who always have to express a contrary opinion come across as low self-esteem idiots, and women are immediately turned off by them. Every single time, without question. Leave your ego at the door. She wants acceptance, not rejection.

The exception to this is when she says something offensive, such as expressing prejudice or conflicting with a core belief of yours, or insulting you. If you feel that your need to set her straight is more important, go right ahead and put your foot down. You have to do this from time to time to show that you're not just seeking her approval. Just do it without attacking her or making her feel like an idiot. (Even if she is an idiot.)

- Do Not Complain. She doesn't want to hear complaints about your athlete's foot, or your car repairs. Remember that the tone of a conversation should always be positive and exciting. Complaints are the ultimate downer in any conversation. This includes commiseration, or sharing your troubles. Complaining comes across as a plea for sympathy, and that's pitiful in her eyes. A self-confident man takes control of his life and makes it what he wants it to be, instead of complaining about how it isn't what he wants.

- Do Not Compete With Her Or Show Off. It's tempting to brag or tell her stories that show you've got something to impress her, but this will always backfire. She is impressed by a man who is impressed by her.

Watch out for any woman who strokes your ego too much, since this really is just a control tactic. They know we men respond to this more than anything else. Don't fall for this trick. Keep your conversation focused on her at least 75% of the time. When she steers it over to you, she's trying to get you to talk about yourself, possibly to build trust in her mind. Every word you say about you could disqualify you in her mind. Don't help her screen you out.

- Don't Kiss Her Ass Or Pursue With Your Words. Treat yourself as the object of desire. Not her. One of the universal errors men make is putting a gorgeous woman up on a pedestal - or any woman on a pedestal, for that matter. You do not want to use compliments or obvious attempts to boost her ego as part of your conversation. Instead, say with your words and attitude that you are expecting to be the one pursued. Saying things like, "Oh, you're back so quick. You must have missed me." Or, "Be careful, if you keep hanging around me, I might think you're stalking me." Statements like this are funny, as well as communicate a level of challenge to a woman. She'll realize you're different, and that will start her feeling attracted to you.

If she starts talking about anything that works contrary to your seduction, you must guide her back to a positive state again. Don't trust her to stay on the positive side! Conversations can often swing into the dark and dreary, and before you know it, she's lost her attraction - not because of you, but because of the mental state she's put herself in. When things start to slip, use the tactic discussed earlier and control her with questions. Use a pattern interrupt, if necessary.

Continue reading here: The Ultra Pause

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