"The G-spot," "Here it Comes," and "The Approaches" originally published at Dating Insider. Some sections revised and reprinted with permission from Dating Dynamics.

The only life worth living is the adventurous life. Of such a life the dominant characteristic is that it is unafraid. It is unafraid of what other people think... It does not adapt either its pace or its objectives to the pace and objectives of its neighbors. It thinks its own thoughts, it reads its own books, it develops its own hobbies, and it is governed by its own conscience. The herd may graze where it pleases or stampede where it pleases, but he who lives the adventurous life will remain unafraid when he finds himself alone.

- Raymond Fosdick

When people say to me, "How do you do so many things?" I often answer them, without meaning to be cruel, "How do you do so little?"

It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don,t. They sit in front of the television and treat life as if it goes on forever.

- Philip Adams

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn,t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

- Mark Twain

No great deed is done by falterers who ask for certainty.

Life is a daring adventure ... or nothing.

- Helen Keller

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

- Robert Schuller h*

Introduction 11

So, Who IS This Carlos Guy? 15

Busting the Myth of "Speed Seduction" 18

A Helpful Warning 19

Love Women 20

Women Want Sex 20

The Fundamental Problem With Men 21

How To Use This Book 23

Seduction is the Wrong Goal: The Six Big Mistakes In Seduction 26

Sexual Power 28

SEDUCTION: A Definition 31

Seduction Strategy: Seduction is a Billiards Game 33

Seduction Strategy: Get a Dog 34

Seduction Strategy: Get To Work 35

SEDUCTION: Psychology 37

PRINCIPLE: Find The Fun In It 37


PRINCIPLE: She Always Does What She Really Wants To Do 38

PRINCIPLE: Pain/Pleasure 39

PRINCIPLE: Scarcity and Appreciation 41

PRINCIPLE: Reduce Your Availability And Increase Your Perceived Desirability 42

PRINCIPLE: Female Attraction 42

PRINCIPLE: Physical Size And Trust 43

PRINCIPLE: The Slut Complex 44

PRINCIPLE: Her Program is Set - Delay Time 45

PRINCIPLE: Line Them Up and Knock Them Down 46

PRINCIPLE: Defensive Shields 48

PRINCIPLE: Psychological Posture 49

Qualification 50

PRINCIPLE: Self-interest 52

PRINCIPLE: Female Behavior 53

PRINCIPLE: Words and Actions 53

PRINCIPLE: Sphere of Control vs. Sphere of Influence 55

PRINCIPLE: The Jerk Syndrome 59

PRINCIPLE: The Phases Of Becoming A Seduction Master 60

PRINCIPLE: The Seduction Dance 61

Preparation for Seduction 64

Persistence 65

Self-Confidence 66

Get A Baseline 68

Get Fit 68

Social Skills 70

Are you socially IN or socially OUT? 71


Role Reversal 75

Seduction Strategy: Social Proof 76

Being Right or Getting Laid 78

Dominant and Submissive 79

Sense of Humor 80

Work Your Way Up 82

Control Your Thinking 83

Stop Daydreaming! 83

Handling Setbacks During the Method 84

Pain Management 85

Ego Wall 87

Misrepresentation 88

One Night Stands 88

The Myth of the "Pick-up" Artist and "The Player" 90

The Cycle of Opportunity 91

The Ultimate Seduction Secret 91

Desperation, and Keeping a Consolation Prize 93

Demonstrate Your Uniqueness 94

Screening 95

Screening vs. Establishing Trust 96

Control the Conversation 97

Why You Don't Want To Be Her Therapist 99

Control The Conversation Through Questions 101

Keep Her Believing in Destiny 105

Imaginary Competition 106


Beware the Crazies 106

The Seduction Utility Belt 109

Your Home 110

Your Car 112

Body Language 113

Seduction Skills 116

Divination / Fortune Telling 116

Magic Tricks 119

Poetry 120

Music 120

Read Her Mind By Reading Her Body Language 121

Breaking Through Her Shell 124

Cultivating Rapport 126

Induce Familiarity 126

Use Mirroring 129

Point Out Similarities 130

Strong, Consistent Eye Contact 130

Charged Words 131

The Method 134

FOUNDATION 1: Escalating Excitement 136

FOUNDATION 2: The Power of Anticipation 137

FOUNDATION 3: The Occupation and Redirect 138

Seduction Strategy: Don't Panic 142

Seduction Strategy: Have a Wingman 142

Seduction Rule: Sunk Cost 143

Seduction Rule: The Fickle Factor 144


The Big "M" 147

Subjects to Discuss 147

Subjects to Avoid 148

The Ultra-Pause 152

Show Her You See Her 153

Conversational Bridging 155

Tease Her 156

The Seduction Method Approaches 158

Hot and Cold 158

Seduction Strategy: The Name Test 159

Situation 1: Grocery Store 160

Situation 2: Coffee House 162

Situation 3: On the Street 163

Tease to Please 163

Situation 4: Singles Bar (non-dance) 170

Situation 5: Dance Club 173

Situation 6: Bookstore (or Other Retail Store) 175

Situation 7: At the Gym or Exercise Club 176

Phone Numbers and Email Addresses 177

Interruption Transition 178

The "Scams" 179


Step 1: Interest, Excitement, and Attraction 185

Heat Up The Conversation 187

Start Suggesting 187

Step 2: Disconnection 190

Step 3: Increased Physical Intimacy 191

The Kiss 193

Step 4: Isolation 196

Step 5: Extended Physical Intimacy 198

Step 6: Close the Sale - Sex 200

Seduction Strategy: Recovery - Excuse Yourself And Try Again 204

The Denial - or, the Takeaway 205

Let Her Think It's Her Idea 206

The Cardinal 208

The Last Ditch Attempt 209


Sharpen Smart - Fly With Another Ace 213

Learn, Don't Burn 215

Sharpen Yourself 216

The Seduction Types 217

The Intellectual 218

The Sharp Chick 218

The Slut 219

The Tease 220

The User 221

The Goddess 221

The Nun 222

The Man-Hater 223

The Agenda Chick 224

The Romantic 226

The Thrillseeker 226

The Angry Chick 227

The Crazy Chick 227

The Bore 228

The Depressed Chick 229

The Low Self-Esteem Chick 229

The Center of Attention 231

Anatomy of a Seduction 233

What Worked 240

Advanced obstacles and their solutions: 242

Seduction Strategy: The Philosophy of Handling and Overcoming Blocks to the Seduction 242

The Other Man/Woman 244

Time To Move On (How to Lose a Girl In 5 Days) 247

Give Her Your Exit Visa 247

Flood Her 249

Happy Little Friends 250

NLP - Neuro-Linguistic Programming 252

States 253

Modality 256

"Kino" or Kinesthetics 258

Always Leave Them Wanting More 259

Avoid These Touches 260

Now, The Positive Areas for Kino 261

Good places to touch early: 261

Places To Touch After You've Established Her Attraction: 263

Other Areas: 264

Sexual Kino 264

How To Drive Her Crazy In Bed 267

Communication 268

Skills 271

Slow it Down 273

Premature Ejaculation 273

Whoops, Too Slow: Couldn't Get it Up 274

Foreplay 275

Tempo - Again, Slow Down 275

Mutual Masturbation 276

Cunnilingus 276

© 2003 - Carlos Xuma - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

Dirty Talk 277

Blow Jobs 278

"Here it Comes" 278

Threesomes 280

Bondage/S&M/Spanking/Fetishes 282

Phone Sex 283

Your Favorite Number: 69 283

Toys 284

The G-spot 284

How Do I Find The G-Spot? 285

Does Every Woman Have A G-Spot? 285

How Do You Stimulate The G-Spot? 285

The Forbidden Zone of Pleasure 286

Your Pleasure Chest 288

Sexual Weirdness 290

Watch out for the "I Love You" 290

Crying 290

Manipulation and Leeching 291

The Extreme Female Sex Types 291

Manage Your Chi 293

How To Be Memorable 294

Closing 296

APPENDIX: The Affect of Age on Seduction Interests 303

References and Recommended Reading List 306

Continue reading here: Introduction

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