Leverage is when you use a motivation to have a desired influence on someone. When I tell a friend that he owes me for going out on a terrible blind date with his cousin, I'm employing leverage. (Some call it blackmail or guilt, but you get the point.) I used a small amount of action to get a bigger result. Leverage.
Emotional leverage is when you use a highly charged emotion that already exists to get a result you desire. This works with women ... and yourself.
A lot of guys use the wrong leverage on a woman, or don't take the time to educate themselves to what really motivates certain woman. If you know a woman is vain, you know that her appearance to others is of primary importance to her. If you can cast her into doubt about it, you can have a strong effect on her. That's where teasing comes into play. You cast a beautiful woman's appearance into doubt with a tease about her hair being "interesting" instead of "absolutely gorgeous." You're not insulting her, you're just letting her own emotions move her in the direction you desire.
If a woman is competitive, you leverage her by giving her competition. If a woman thinks she's hot shit, you challenge her by being even more cocky and arrogant than she is. If a woman doesn't like to lose control, you dangle the control in front of her nose like a carrot, and then pull it out of reach when it suits you.
I don't condone using this ability to manipulate people. Those who do this are actually weak and immature, definitely not Alpha Men. What you should use this knowledge and power for is to get win-win results for you and another person.
When I use sales techniques to get someone to sign up for a martial arts course, I'm not manipulating them. I'm helping them make a decision they want to make. The problem is that most people don't know what really is best for them. I help them get what they want, as well as what I want. That's what sales is really all about. (And whether or not you want to admit it, everything in life is sales, my friends. Especially dating and seduction.)
So, how do you use this emotional leverage with yourself?
First, identify the result you want to obtain. Do you want to quit smoking? If that's your goal, then the second thing to do is find a strong emotion of yours that you can use. Are you a little squeamish about gross stuff? Great. Put the two together like this to leverage your emotions to quit: Get pictures of cancer patients off the Internet. Get those medical pictures of lungs that have been destroyed by smoking and print that to put on your dashboard. (There's a saying - if smoking did to you on the outside what it does on the inside, you'd never have started.)
You have to keep using these methods and keep up the intensity of them so that your brain makes the decision it must - QUIT. That's how real change is made.
If you don't use emotions to help you in these situations, you won't be able to change. You need to find a strong emotion that you can use to achieve the desired affect.
Do you really want to get yourself to go ask that woman to dance? Then you better find some emotional motivation to do it, otherwise you'll keep talking yourself out of it.
How about this leverage - if you're the kind of guy that hates hindsight and regret:
You know that if you don't ask her, you'll end up beating yourself up a hundred times more for not having done it than if you did ask her and she said no. And if you don't ask, you'll go absolutely crazy all week wondering what would happen if you had asked her.
And if that's not enough leverage, how about this one if you're a competitive guy that hates to lose:
If you don't go ask her, someone else will, and you'll lose to some other dweeb. And then remember a dozen times when you felt that sickening sense of loss before. Feel that pain? Do you want to feel that again?
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