Giving Up The Exception

There is one situation where I will tell you that you're far better giving up than persisting. This is in the dreaded situation where you find that you want to win back a woman you lost because you screwed up in acting like an Alpha Man.

I hear about this most often in the "how do I win her back" questions I get daily via email. The horrible truth is that you cannot win back a woman you've lost by acting like a Beta Guy. If you slipped into wimpy mode and lost her interest, you can't get her back by any other method except letting her go.

Guys hate to make mistakes that we cannot fix. I believe that men are honorable, and part of our evolutionary design is that we want to make things right. This means that when we screw up a relationship, we want to go back and fix it. And, if the woman is suddenly no longer available to us, we thrive on the challenge of the hunt. The problem with this is that we get locked into these no-win scenarios where we pursue a woman to our own harm.

© 2003 -2004 - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

The dilemma of this situation is that if you try to win a woman back, any way you do it you'll end up pushing her further away.

1) You could get a new woman that you can keep by behaving the right way for 10% of the energy you would have used to win her back.

2) She becomes too important to you, and obsession starts to creep in. You're focused on her, convinced that she's suddenly "special" or one of a kind.

3) The object of your desire picks up on this creepy focus and it spooks her.

4) You feel her slipping away even faster, so you double your efforts, and wind up doubling the inevitable results - she disappears twice as fast.

5) And she's really not as fantastic as you thought. We tend to distort and amplify the value of something we cannot have.

You see, Hollywood has brainwashed men into believing that they can win women back by suddenly becoming little pussies that relentlessly pursue women with flowers and poems, and eventually she'll give in. Nothing could be further from the truth. The women that come back are the ones that realize on their own that the reasons they miss you. Not because you "convinced" them.

I find it interesting that most guys who want to win back a gal they messed it up with become convinced that somehow this woman is "the One" for them, and she's now super special, completely unique. This is a distortion created by the "I had her, I lost her, now I'm going to beat myself up over it instead of moving on" syndrome.

An Alpha Man knows that the only woman he can win back is the one he drops completely out of his life. Why does this work?

1) If she's going to be attracted to you, it's because you aren't obsessed with her. By dropping her out of your life completely, she'll be wondering, "What's he doing? And who's he doing it with? And why isn't he begging me to come back?" If you run into her at the store, you won't have a lost-puppy look, and she'll wonder why you're doing so well without her.

2) You can clear your head of all the nonsense that she's the "only one for you," and other crap like that. Only by getting some distance from her will you see the Truth - that she's just another woman. And there are BILLIONS more on this planet, chum. (Remember, there is no scarcity of chicks on this planet.)

3) You'll act much more confidently and congruently when you've got options. A man who has options is one that feels free and confident that he can have what he wants, and that there is no scarcity.

© 2003 -2004 - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

Without the last woman around to turn back to, your sexual energy will be turned into creative energy to find a new woman.

© 2003 -2004 - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

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