Quantum Leap Method

There's a common error made with respect to building up self-confidence and self-esteem in men. It's typically made when a man decides he needs to "build up" his confidence. He usually assumes that he must take his confidence from where he thinks it is (at the very bottom) and raise it up to a higher level where he can believe in himself.

The reality is quite different, in fact.

Let me start by describing a principle from physics that is applicable here. It's called the Quantum Leap Theory of self-confidence.

Remember those little models of atoms you had in school? They have those concentric rings to represent the orbits of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Something like this:

The little orbits where the electrons spin around the nucleus are called shells or orbitals. For electrons to go from one shell to a higher one (like from A to B in the picture), they had to get enough energy to move up. Then, when an electron got enough boost to make the jump, it got to orbit in a higher-level shell and enjoy all that new energy. Woo-hoo!

But the funny thing about these shells is that once the electron got its boost of energy to make the jump, it didn't just float up through space and start moving in the new orbit. It actually disappears from one shell and reappears instantly in the next one.

Pretty trippy, huh? For a short period, the electron disappears from the universe, and then reappears in the next orbital. No moving up by steps. No slight increments. It's all-or-nothing for Mr. Electron. One moment he's in his low-energy orbit right around the nucleus. The next moment, he's boosted by several volts of power into his new higher orbit.

This example is how you make the big jump from where you are to where you are going. Forget all the small steps in between.

© 2003 -2004 - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

Make a quantum leap.

What I'm about to say may sound contrary to what you've been taught about male self-confidence, but it's important you understand how this works. You have to unlearn this belief that self-confidence is built up or raised inch by inch from a low level to a high place. And of course, as I've told you, you'll do much better if you work to shore up your belief in yourself first through other goals and pursuits, and then later through women.

The best way to get yourself to the level of self-confidence you desire is to jump there, with no steps in between. You have to learn to assume the level of confidence you want, imagine what this feels like in both actions and thoughts, and then just be that man. No working up courage or baby steps.

BANG. You're there.

You see, the other way of building your self-esteem requires you to work at every step of the way, and then place all your hopes and beliefs in every small step you try to make. If you stack too many of these small steps together at once, you risk having it collapse on you like a house of cards, and then all that work will be for nothing. You feel like you're fighting uphill every day just to get yourself to a level of self-acceptance.

For another analogy, it's just like working your way up a wet, muddy slope. One slip and you come sliding back down again. How many times do you think it will be before you give up on that? And if you're lucky, you'll only get a few small gains in self-confidence before you become exhausted from fighting up this slippery slope of mud.

Imagine your level of self-confidence is on a scale, from A to S:

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S

HIGH

The real problem is that most guys assume that because they are at point A, and they want to be at point R or point S, where the really confident guys are, that they have to struggle to point B, then to point C, point D, point E, and so on.

Why doesn't this work?

Because 99% of the guys who are at point R, or point S, or any of those high levels of self-esteem never worked through the other lower levels to get up there. They either assumed that higher level of confidence right away, when they were younger, or they made a big jump after several successes helped boost them.

© 2003 -2004 - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

Ask any guy with high self-esteem how he got there, and almost none of them will tell you that they woke up one day feeling really crappy, and then decided to work every day from then on with tiny baby steps toward higher self-confidence.

(And the ones that do say this probably didn't really do it that way. They made much larger jumps. At the time it seemed like it was more gradual than it actually was.)

Most guys don't succeed by small increments, because it's too much work for too little gain. They make big quantum leaps.

How does this work with women in real life?

Let's say you're out on your own going to a singles event at a bar. As you drive up to the place, you find your thoughts start turning to nervousness and a little shakiness about the situation. What if I choke? you think. What if I can't keep the conversation going?

This is where you need to use a few of the relaxation techniques and stop thinking. You remember all the times you just felt in calm control of the situation before, and how the energy kept feeding you. Even when there was a slip-up, you kept your cool and didn't let doubts creep in.

You realize that in this state, in this low orbit, you don't have the energy to pull off a very Alpha appearance. So you use your mental rehearsal technique to remember that feeling in the bigger shell.

What would you act like if you knew there were women in here dying to know you, and all you had to do was find her? What if all the women in here wanted you? How would that make you feel? Imagine what Colin Farrell or any other hot male movie star feels when he walks into a party. Really feel this confidence run through you, like electricity.

You even review your beliefs for a moment, knowing that these are what define you. If you can demonstrate a place of calm security in them, women will want to know more about you.

NOW you're in that higher orbital. None of that "working up your courage" nonsense. You just have to keep your actions and thoughts in this higher energy state. Sure, you may have to jump back up there, but it gets easier and easier each time.

The danger in using the Quantum Leap method is that a man can suddenly undermine his new state by feeling like a fraud when he is faced with a challenge or a low mood that shakes his confidence.

The secret to making this work is to make your old sense of low self-esteem feel so repugnant, so vile and horrible, that you can't stand the thought of being that person ever again. You have to hate that feeling of insecurity so much that you unplug it from yourself. Throw it away in your mental trash pile. When you feel those insecure feelings trying to steal your mojo away, you mentally yell "BREAK!" and disrupt the pattern. Push those feelings to the side, regain your composure by remembering the visualization of the new state in your higher energy, and keep going. Do this enough times and the habit will take hold.

It's like breaking in a new pair of shoes. Right now you feel so comfortable and safe in your current pair of low energy, low self-esteem shoes. Every new pair you put on, whether they are the ones at level B, level C, or further up the spectrum, feel uncomfortable to you. You'll have to put them on and really commit to walking in them for a few weeks before they stop chafing your heel, or leaving blisters. These shoes are going to be downright fucking painful to wear for a while. But once you get used to them, the new ones will be just as comfortable as your current shoes.

And if you're going to have to break in a new pair, why not go straight for the goal and wear them in only once, rather than a dozen or more times in between? Chances are you'll get so sick of making those small steps from level B to C to D, that after level F or G you're ready to give up. This is way too much work, and you fall way short of your goal. No wonder so many guys have a problem raising their self-confidence.

I suggest that you try to do more work in bigger jumps. Forget this nice guy wimp you know isn't you. Instead, imagine and fully create this new man, a true Alpha Man that will be able to communicate his new Alpha Man Power. Jump from level A to Level G right away. Get used to making that significant jump. Then stay at level G for as long as you can. You'll slip back from time to time, but Level G will seem more and more familiar and real to you, until you find yourself there. You won't fall back to level A anymore. And then you can then jump again, maybe to level N this time, and do the same thing.

Baby steps are for babies. If you find you've bitten off more than you can handle, then back off a little bit. Maybe shoot for level F instead of G. Just remember than any step you make will be uncomfortable. That can't be changed. But a Quantum Leap will get you there faster, and more successfully.

© 2003 -2004 - DD Publications - All Rights Reserved -

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