The Contrast Between Alpha Men And Shy

Men who are unskilled with women tend to focus more on the potential downside of romance. Their primary goal is to keep themselves from getting hurt too badly, because they're used to getting poor (and even no) results most of the time. Because Non-Alpha Males seem to get hurt more often than not, they're very risk-averse.

This means that Non-Alpha Males tend to be rather shy and thus are much more likely to want women who are outgoing. After all, they don't have to work as hard to start up a conversation with girls who are chatty and personable and friendly. We call this "picking the low-hanging fruit."

Reaching for the Low-Hanging Fruit isn't always a bad strategy in life, but it can be counter-productive in dating. Why? Because most men are shy around women, there's a lot of competition for the easy-to-talk-to women who are relatively scarce.

Look at it from an economics standpoint, if you will: When the demand is high and the supply is low, prices are likely to be high. You'll be paying more to get less, simply because the numbers aren't in your favor when you take the path of least resistance.

And if you've ever worked in sales, you'll understand the difference between Prospecting and order-taking. We've already discussed this in the Communication Manual, but here's a recap:

a Prospecting means going out, finding your own leads, and convincing them to buy your product or service. Life insurance salesman fit that mold. It's a difficult job and most people aren't cut out for it. But the ones who do it well can make a lot of money.

a "Order-taking" means just what it says: You stand there and sell to anyone who comes up and says: "I'd like to buy this." Sales clerks in a department store fit this mold. It's not all that stressful (as there's no fear of rejection) and many people can do it. But the money is much less and it can be interminably boring as well.

If you're waiting for "Miss Right" to walk over to you and strike up a conversation despite your having done nothing first to make it happen, you have the "order-taker mentality."

Even on a good day, you'll end up with leftovers. On a bad day, you'll end up with nothing.

But despite these dismal prospects, most men are order-takers when dating. Their goal is to minimize rejection.

That's why it's important to an "order taker" man that his potential date be outgoing and friendly -- it's less intimidating for him under such circumstances. And it's even easier if an interesting woman meets him more than halfway when it comes to suggesting that they should "get together sometime."

In contrast, the dating goals of Alpha Males are to have a wild time with a succession of young lovelies. They have the "prospector mentality" and can "ask for the sale" without freezing up.

Therefore, it's less important that the woman be very outgoing and friendly since Alpha Males are not intimidated by women and can make a move without her doing most of the work. For these men, having an outgoing woman can be a "nice to have" but is not a "need to have."

Which one sounds more like you right now?

Continue reading here: Being A Detective With Women

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