Pass I Ng Shyt Tests

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Dealing with the silly games women throw your way. What is a Shyt Test?

When dealing with fine women who are accustomed to constant male attention, you have to realize that their screening process is different from yours. These chicks get hit on every day by tons of dudes. She has the power to be selective and she does not hesitate to use it. If a chick is attracted to you, often times she will run these little tests on you to see if you are worthy of her affections.

Here are some examples:

HER: Can you put this in the trash for me?

CHUMP: Oh, of course! Do you need anything else?

YOU: No! Haha just kidding. Sure I can, but what's in it for me?

HER: Could you do me a big favor?

CHUMP: Your wish is my command!

YOU: I dunno (pause and look her up and down) aint nothing for free in this world, honey. You gots to earn favors! Give me a massage first and I will think about it.

HER: Are you a player or something? CHUMP: (nervous and sweating) Uhh..

YOU: Oh totally, all the ladies want a piece of me. Usually my pimp status is more obvious, but I left my fur coat and gold chains at home. You should come over to my place later on and I'll show them to you. (wink) So anyways like I was sayin.. (Keep talking as if she never interrupted you)

HER: OMG, you are such a jerk!

CHUMP: Why do you say that? (takes her personally) YOU: So what is it about jerks that turn you on so much?

HER: I never have sex on the first night.

CHUMP: Oh. (feels like he was just shot down)

YOU: Me neither, I get so tired of these women who just want to use me and toss me aside like a sex toy.

HER: I have a boyfriend.

CHUMP: Really, sorry to bother you then. He is a lucky guy!

YOU: (said in a playful manner) I have a boyfriend too. And you know what he told me before I went out tonight? He said, "If you meet someone exciting, have a good time! I don't want to hold you back." I think it's wonderful that he is so open like that, don't you? (credit cooljoe for this gem)

HER: You only want sex.

CHUMP: That's not true!

YOU: You are the one who brought it up.

HER: Sex can really ruin a good friendship, you know?

CHUMP: Yeah, you are so right.

YOU: Wow, are you really that bad of a lover?(scandalous grin)

Notice how the chump fails her tests and lets her control his mindstate. See how she says these little things to seperate the chumps from the champs? She wants to see if she can throw you off your game. Often times she is also trying to disrupt the state you are putting her in because God forbid she should have such slutty feelings for a smooth fellow like you! The trick is to not let her fukk up your flow. Never take these questions seriously or answer them directly and you will pass with flying colors.

She'll ask for favors or tell you she is not interested in sex. But you don't play that game, you get her to do YOU favors and ultimately accuse her of trying to seduce you. Turn the tables on her and she will love you for it! Tease and flirt with her and you will notice her get turned on and touch you or hit you playfully. This is sexual communication my friends. It is the art of Verbal Foreplay!

It's funny how well I can read your mind right now. "Dammit, cram the armchair philosophy Fingers, let's see some more examples!" Hehe well, I can't help being a bit of a tease '^but since you have taken the time to read my endless drivel, I guess you have earned this:


Reminder: Cocky is not enough! Be Funny and Playful!

(1) Sporadic Displays of Confidence

(2) Reality Check

(3) Role Reversal

(4) Role Playing

(5) Qualifying


This is where you demonstrate your self-worth in a playful and humorous way. These lines should be used VERY sparingly otherwise you will come off like an arrogant prick.

She compliments you

- "Thanks for the compliment, but I prefer food and gifts, or maybe a massage"

- "Yeah, I am pretty awesome!"

- "Hey, we're both adults here, you can just come right out and say that you love me"

- "Tell you what, if you can stop trying to flatter your way into my pants for 5 minutes, I might consider letting you take me out to dinner" (only use this one if you have big balls)

Note: Keep in mind that often times, a sincere "thank you" is the best way to return a compliment. It really depends on the nature of the compliment itself and the dynamic between you two. Develop that intuition through experience and you will see what I mean. In a pinch you can try this one, which has never failed me:

- "My, what excellent taste you have!" (Nice one that compliments both of us)

She tells you she loves/likes/misses you

- "Oh...I know!" (Said matter-of-factly with a smile)

- "*sigh* yeh can't say I blame you there!" (interlock your fingers behind your head like you are sooo content with yourself)

- "That's no surprise, I mean what's not to love/like/miss?" (As if it's the most obvious thing in the world)

- "Hey that's really sweet!'re not gonna start stalking me now are you? I'd hate to have to take out a restraining order just because you are obsessed with me."

A girl you don't know makes eye contact with you

- "Hey there, I just couldn't help noticing you (pause) STARING at me."

- "Do you always maintain such strong eye contact? Or only with guys like me that you can't help it with?"


"I refuse to worship your looks!"

Some might call these neg-hits. I call it leveling the playing field. You simply set yourself apart from all the drooling AFC's who shower this girl with endless attention and compliments. You are not insulting her, rather you disarm her by not falling under the power of her beauty. Save these for the HB 9's and 10's who are used to getting approached by hordes of men and as a result have their bytch shields set to "stun"

Cold Approach

"Hi I just wanted to talk to the prettiest girl in the room" (wait for her to look at you like you're just another fan, then say) "Yeah, she's right over there (point) but I'm too nervous to talk to her so I figured I would practice on you, first."

She talks for a long time without letting you speak

Close your eyes and start snoring as if you just passed out from boredom.

She tells you she is a model

"Really? that's pretty cool..(look at her hands) So how long have you been a hands model?"

You pay attention to her strange quirks of character then point them out to her Say "You are a strange girl." She will ask why so be prepared to tell her the funny things you notice about her. Try to avoid commenting on physical traits. Make fun of her odd behavior, which isn't that hard because we are all odd in our own ways. If she tries to flip it and say that you are weird just say that you are secure enough to admit it and turn your neg into a compliment saying that normal people bore you and it's all good because you only hang out with freaks. As soon as she seems appeased, flip it again and say that she IS unusually freaky though. Damn, you are such a scoundrel!

You have good vibe going and you have already been teasing each other by the time you drop this

"You know I have psychic powers. (she says "really?") Yes, in fact I have an intuition about you (pause till she gets curious) I get the impression that you are a total BRAT! (she protests and maybe hits you) Wait wait, the picture is becoming clear now.(Rub your temple for effect) Yes I can see now that you weren't spanked enough as a child! We'll have to make up for lost time won't we ?" (sly grin) You'll know that your magic is working on her when she tries to hit you playfully. That's your cue to spank her ass!

(3) ROLE REVERSAL "I'm not that easy!"

This one is gold. You turn the tables on her by making it seem like she is picking you up and coming on a little too strong. The key here is to be funny, but also act like you are offended by her advances. You are giving her the same runaround she is used to giving guys so she will usually appreciate your humor and attention to detail. It is great fun and sets a nice subliminal tone that will often get them to start chasing you.

Cold approach intros

- "Were you just staring at my butt?"

She suggests going to a bar

"Damn, the night is young and already you want to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me? Typical!"

You discuss the possibility of relocating to your/her place

-"Sure we can go back to your/my place, but don't get any ideas, missy. I'm not that easy! Sh!t, you gotta wine me and dine me before i put out!"

-"Let me just make it clear that we will NOT be having sex tonight. Are you okay with that?"

She says she never has sex on the first date

- "Whoa girl, you are moving wayyyy too fast! I'm still trying to decide if I will let you hold my hand!"

- "Hey, was thinking only the purest of thoughts...Are you trying to corrupt my innocence here?"

- "Sex?! I don't even know if you are a good kisser yet."

You accuse her of treating you like a sex toy

-"You know, I am getting sick and tired of all these women who only want to use me for sex." (Look disgusted)

-"I'm not just a piece of meat. I have feelings too you know!" (Look hurt and vulnerable) -"Women, they all see me as some sort of boytoy made for their pleasure, if only they would get to know the real me.. "

She touches you

- This is a silent C&F trick. Look at her hand and make it obvious that you notice her touch.

When she catches this, look right into her eyes, raise an eyebrow, then let a wide grin spread on your face and nod as if to say, "Aha..I get it, you WANT me!" If she is a SuperDuperHB you can say "Hands off the merchandise!"

She asks what your plans are for the night/weekend/whatever

- "Why are you being so shy? Just come right out and ask me out"

- "Why can't you just admit that you long to bask in the warm glow of my presence?"

- "I dunno yet ... Does this pickup line usually work for you?"

(4) ROLE PLAYI NG - "You are my new girlfriend"

Ahh fantasies, the key to a woman's heart! Marry her when she does something nice, divorce her when she doesn't get with the program. You disarm her because one second you are all over her and the next you are rejecting her. Push & Pull Baby! I use this approach quite often because it works so well on so many levels.

PUSH LINE - "Wow you are new girlfriend! (turn to others) Don't we make a great couple?" PULL LINE - "You know, I've been doing some thinking.. I can tell this will never work, it's over between you and me."

PUSH LINE - "You are the best! We are totally getting married now!"

PULL LINE - "Wow, that is so not cool, that does it, we are getting a divorce"

PUSH LINE - "You are just too good to be true, lets run off to Vegas and get one of those drive-thru weddings!"

PULL LINE - "I hope you are rich so when I ditch you, I can take half your money."

If you are dealing with a girl you just met and approached, then keep this playful vibe going and wait for her to show she is interested. They usually do this by asking questions about you, whats your name, where do you work etc etc. Feel free to make some funny shyt up. I love to make girls guess my name/age and when they ask about my job I tell them I'm a stripper/pornstar. I do it in a way that shows I am not serious so I dont outright lie to them. Whatever you say, just remember that these chicks are used to guys trying to get all personal about their lives in the most boring ways "Well, I attended XYZ University and majored in Political Science and I currently work at XYZ Corp. and reside in *YAWN!* For crying out loud, this is not a freakin interview! If you remember just one thing out of this entire post, hammer the following phrase into your head:

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