Being comfortable in your clothes, in the way they fit and their appropriateness for the occasion, is key to being able to wear them well and oozing confidence as you do so:

✓ Fit, style, and colours of clothes: If you don't want to be overlooked when out socialising, don't wear cheap, badly fitting, or dowdy-coloured clothes (see Figures 5-1 and 5-2). Better to invest in a few good pieces than buying a lot of cheap clothes.

✓ Appropriateness of clothes: If you want to be noticed when you're socialising, buy clothes that impress and stand out for the right reasons in your social environment. For example, heels on a woman not only give stature, they give shapely legs, too. Go for what looks good on your body shape and that suits your style. Determine the image you want to create and dress the part.

Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Likewise, dress for the person you want to attract.

Figure 5-1: Inappropriate dress for social occasions.

Figure 5-2: Serious flirting wear for social occasions.

Getting the right fit

Men who wear their trousers too tight either haul them down under their stomach or hoick them up under their armpits. Neither is a good look. Biting the bullet and buying a bigger size until you lose the extra pounds is far better.

Women who are uncomfortable wearing tight or short outfits spend the whole time clawing at them to try and achieve better coverage. If tight or short isn't for you, then wear something you're more comfortable in or strap yourself up with some serious control underwear.

Shop for clothes with a trusted advisor who tells you the truth about what looks good and what doesn't. Many shop assistants will sell you anything to make the sale, but not only do you want your clothes to fit you properly, you want them to enhance your shape and style. You want your clothes to represent yourself at your best.


The little things can often make a big difference. Accessorise your outfit with items that are personal to you and reflect your personality. You feel more interesting showing a little bit of yourself and give people an opportunity to compliment you, building rapport and your confidence. Accessorising is easier for women because a much larger range of accessories exists. Avoid too much jewellery, guys, unless you're trying to achieve the Peter Stringfellow look!

Men, pick unusual or very high quality accessories, from watches and scarves to shoes and ties, to give yourself a confident self-assured air. Also, the type of shirt collar, the style of knot, and the choice of pattern is a way of accessorising to suit you.

Looking and Sounding Confident

Looking confident is half the battle, even if you don't feel it. Creating the appearance of confidence is a very powerful flirting tool. To do this, think back to a time when you felt supremely confident and work out what it was about that situation that made you feel so good about yourself. It was probably a combination of the way you looked and felt. Remembering all those great feelings and sensations can help inspire you to boost your confidence on a daily basis and in difficult situations. Drawing on that experience and convincing yourself that you can look and feel confident is a great skill.

Adopting a confident posture is a great outward sign of confidence, and pulling yourself up to your full height, keeping your eyes front and your head high, gives you an instant confidence makeover. When people react to you positively, it boosts your confidence from the inside and the confidence-cranking process begins.

People like to be around confident people because it inspires confidence in them. You're much more likely to want to mix, flirt, or work with people you have confidence in, and more likely to trust people who look confident. With increased confidence comes more friends, and greater professional success and satisfaction, too.

A fine line exists between confidence and arrogance, which you yjlN have to be careful not to cross. Being bullish is more likely to ( ¡III j alienate people and turn them off. At the opposite end of the spectrum, lack of confidence and assertiveness can lead not only to a lack of faith in you but also in your abilities.

Confident people are prepared to take risks whereas arrogant people often avoid risk taking, or if they do take risks they are quick to place the blame on others for their failure. Confident people bounce back from failures and can keep them in perspective. They don't let one bad thing ruin an otherwise positive day.

Continue reading here: Overcoming confidence killers

Was this article helpful?

0 0