Evaluating your adaptability

A good flirt uses their interpersonal talents appropriately, in both the workplace and socially. Whether you're improving your working relationships, making friends or winning dates, the same skills are at play to a greater or lesser degree. By learning to play with the 'volume' control on the elements of your flirting skills, you can adapt your flirting appropriately regardless of the setting. For example, you wouldn't want your boss feeling as if you were hitting on them, and by the same token you wouldn't want a date to feel as if they were nothing more than a polite acquaintance.

You can judge your adaptability as a flirt by flirting with a friend the way you would flirt with a date and then seeing how they react. Do they:

1. Not notice?

2. Start to behave differently towards you?

3. Ask you why you're acting differently with them?

If the answer is 1: Your adaptability is low, and your friend hasn't registered your approach. You need to be more aware of how you behave towards and around different types of flirting scenarios.

If the answer is 2: Friends naturally mirror each other's behaviour and reflect actions. You can see from the changes in your friend's behaviour that they are reflecting the change in yours. Develop this further in other scenarios to see how your flirting volume changes.

If the answer is 3: Your approach has lacked subtlety and has triggered a response that hasn't mirrored your own actions. You need to look at your basic flirting skills and work on amplifying or toning them down depending on the situation.

Continue reading here: Analysing whats holding you back

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