Evaluating your confidence level

To gauge how confident you are as a flirt, ask yourself these questions:

In professional interactions: When first meeting someone in the office that you find attractive, do you:

1. Look them in the eye and greet them with a cheery smile and a hello?

2. Look their way, but wait for them to make the first move to say hello?

3. Wait for someone else to make the introductions?

In social settings: When first meeting somebody socially that you find attractive, do you:

1. Catch their eye, then approach them confidently?

2. Catch their eye, then wait until they make the move or until you're absolutely sure it's safe to approach them?

3. Stand rooted to the spot hoping they'll notice you, then kick yourself when they leave for missing the opportunity to speak to them?

Here's how to interpret your answers:

✓ If you answered both questions with 1s: You're a pro on the confidence front; you'll never miss an opportunity. If you're not getting as many opportunities as you'd like, get out more.

✓ If you answered both questions with 2s: You're pointing in the right direction but need a little more conviction to get your flirting muscles flexing.

✓ If you answered both questions with 3s: You have the most potential for growth. Just follow the tips in this book and everything will start falling into place.

✓ If you've got a mixed result: You're more confident in one setting than the other. When it comes to flirting you have to use it or lose it, so put more effort into the area with the higher score and watch all your relationships flourish.

To further understand your confidence level, ask yourself the same questions but for someone to whom you're not attracted. Getting a smaller score (2s instead of 3s or 1s instead of 2s, for example) indicates that you're more confident flirting with people you're not attracted to and therefore less confident when you fear rejection. Take heart, though: I've never met anyone that relishes rejection, but by using all the steps in the book you'll be able to spot the key signs, minimise your chances of rejection, and flirt with confidence.

Continue reading here: Evaluating your adaptability

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  • Mike
    How to evaluate confidence in a conversation?
    2 years ago