Flirting with intent is when someone's interested in being more than just friends and their behaviour changes to indicate the romantic motive behind their actions. This intention is hormone-fuelled, and being able to tell when this is happening is useful for either progressing a relationship or avoiding leading that person on.
Establishing if someone wants more than friendship is useful when you're flirting with intent or are trying to determine whether someone else is flirting with intent with you.
People who flirt with intent do more than simply smile, make good eye contact, and show an interest. Watch for these behaviours:
✓ Standing close to you
✓ Touching you more than they touch other people
✓ Preening themselves more than usual, perhaps by fixing their hair or smoothing their clothes, and so on
✓ Making longer eye contact with you than with other people
✓ Paying more compliments to you than is usual for them
✓ Making more of an effort with their appearance when with you, perhaps by choosing more impressive outfits to wear
Research has shown that men can tend to interpret signs of friendliness as signs of sexual availability. Checking for the behaviours in this list (or, in other words, deciding whether she is demonstrating more than just smiling, good eye contact, and an interest in you) is a prudent move to make.
These behaviours are also different to their behaviour towards the other people around you. See Chapter 12 for more on how to read flirting signals.
People who like or are in tune with you mirror your body language. Mirroring is simply where we copy the other person's gestures, body language, or behaviour. For example, if the other person crosses their leg towards you, and you mirror them, you cross your leg towards them. If you're curious whether the person with whom you're flirting with intent feels the same way about you, watch to see if they mirror your actions or respond favourably.
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