Getting Yourself in the Flirting Mindset

Question: What would you attempt if you thought you couldn't fail? Answer: Anything.

The end is nigh

Jane would rather do nothing than do something because she was convinced that whatever she tried would go wrong. She always wore trousers when she went out, and when her friends tried to coax her into buying a dress, she refused point blank. 'My mum says I have horrible legs and I can't wear a dress as I'll make a show of myself,' was her twisted reasoning. It turned out that Jane's mother didn't have a positive word to say about anything or anybody. Jane had lived with her mother's negativity hanging over her, conditioned into thinking that she was useless and worthless. Jane's friends made a pact to stop her using negative phrases at the ends of sentences; they also said positive things to her about her appearance and her personality. Jane eventually felt positive enough to buy a dress and she looked great in it. Having the confidence to make a change also made her more confident in herself. Instead of viewing the men she met in bars with cynicism, she started to give them a bit of a chance. Before she knew it, Jane was accepting compliments from a stranger about her dress and she didn't attempt to deflect them or to put herself down. Jane managed to put a lifetime of negative conditioning behind her and is now in a stable relationship.

If someone like Jane can grasp the positivity initiative, anyone can. Just think of the rewards and stay focused on becoming the brilliant flirt you are.

To be a brilliant flirt you have to approach it as though you can't fail. Obviously not every flirtation is going to go exactly to plan, but learning from your errors is all part of the process. Remember: flirting's about having attitude; if you believe you can do it, you can. If your fears of rejection are getting in your way, overcome them with help from Chapter 15.

Practise flirting every day, with people of all ages and with both men and women. Mastering the innocent mutual kind of flirting first is an important step to take to enable you to successfully conquer the full-on variety.

Continue reading here: Setting your thinking

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