Interpreting reactions and intentions
In days of yore, you'd be issued with a letter of intent or contract for marriage when someone had honourable intentions towards you; a bit formal, perhaps, but it removed the possibility of misinterpretation and missed opportunities. Now you want to interpret the other person's intentions. Unfortunately, your interpretation of someone's intentions isn't always accurate.
Being able to interpret reactions and intentions requires good observational skills on your part. Pay attention to the following:
✓ Do they behave in the same manner with you when you're on your own as they do when you're with others?
✓ If you're off colour, are they concerned?
✓ If your mood alters, does their mood alter accordingly?
✓ Are they adopting your language cues, using phrases and terms peculiar to you?
✓ What does their body language say? (Remember to look for these clues in clusters of four or more. Chapter 11 has more on body language.)
Derek had been flirting gently with Sally for months in their local bars and clubs, but had never managed to move things on. Sally was waiting for a definitive flirtation, aimed directly at her and without the confusion of not being able to tell if he was just being friendly or if he really fancied her. One Saturday night they must both have been in the same frame of mind. Sally applied her war paint immaculately, squeezed into her pulling dress and sprayed herself liberally with the perfume that made her feel at her sexiest. Derek put on his lucky pants, splashed on some aftershave that his sister swore would make any woman weak, and headed into town.
When Derek saw Sally, he congratulated himself on his decision to wear the lucky pants, as she was a picture and he intended to score. She fixed him with a look and he ignored all the other women he would normally speak to and made a beeline for her. Derek and Sally finally got it together thanks to a decisive bit of action on both their parts.
Whether your lucky pants set your mind to it or your favourite perfume, use something as the catalyst to keep you focused on displaying and following up your intentions.
Get used to looking for clusters of clues; they're vital to reading, interpreting, and reacting to friends and flirtations alike. Never base your decision on any one gesture in isolation. You almost need a library of reactions to different situations to build up a picture of a person's intentions.
Continue reading here: Flirting with unemployment Sexual harassment
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