Making your intentions clear

Showing your intentions would be child's play if you could simply wear a badge displaying them. Wearing 'You're lovely, am I your type?' on your chest would save a lot of 'do they, don't they fancy me' analysis, but wouldn't be half the fun.

You can show your intentions by doing things like dressing to impress, smelling great, looking confident, giving them your full undivided attention with great levels of eye contact, showing plenty of smiles, mirroring their body language, and touching intentionally. (See Chapter 11 for more info about body language.)

Decide how fast you're prepared to take things and prepare to act accordingly. If you want to get to know someone gradually, pressing for a late night invitation back to their place is probably going to get you more than an offer of coffee. Alternatively, spending months being polite and waiting for an invitation to hold hands may also lead to a degree of frustration on both sides.

Commuter code

Penny had seen Mike on the Tube several days a week for the last three weeks. He had a slightly aloof look about him and usually buried his nose in the paper during his journey. They both got off at the same stop, but she hadn't managed to catch his attention to make a move and clearly she was invisible to him. Not wanting to miss her opportunity and keen to see if Mike was actually spoken for, Penny took decisive action. The next day, having dolled herself up, she positioned herself so that she faced him, and stared at his paper. When he dropped it to turn the page, he saw her staring at him. She looked away, then back again; he was still looking at her -he was interested! She looked away again and he carried on with his newspaper.

The next time he caught her eye when turning a page, she gave him a coy smile and in response he sat up straight and smiled back. She looked away again and he returned to his paper. The next time he dropped his paper, she could see him checking if she was looking, so she poked her tongue out. He laughed in surprise. As Penny left the train, she looked over her shoulder to see Mike catching up with her and she gave him a big grin and a cheery hello. They went out for a drink that night before taking the Tube home together.

By being obvious in her intentions, not only did Penny get noticed, her confidence impressed Mike enough to ask her out without worrying if he was making a move that wouldn't be reciprocated. Being brave in your actions will be rewarded.

Continue reading here: Interpreting reactions and intentions

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