Preening in Public
Preening in public is exactly how Mother Nature prepared you to attract a mate. The jungle is full of exotic creatures displaying themselves at their best to create the best chance of attracting the fittest mate. The situation's no different for humans; so don't be shy and get ready to shake your tail feathers!
Unlike the animal kingdom where the males (which are the brightly coloured or striking looking half of the union) are usually putting on the display, the females do most of the displaying in humans. They're giving a clear signal to let men know they're looking. Regardless of gender, the type of display you put on depends on how adventurous you are as a flirt.
The pose in Figure 10-10 is a full-on invitation. A woman directs this look at a particular person, she doesn't use it for generalised attention seeking. This pose is so effective because lifting her arms above her head shows off her vulnerable neck area and exposes the underarm, gives her an instant bust lift, and creates a curve to her spine. The eye contact says she means business and the slightly closed-lip smile shows she's holding something back. He's going to have to come closer if he wants to find out what her secret is.
A man may lead with his crotch thrusted forwards, with his fingers or thumbs pointing at his crotch, and his toes pointing in the direction of a woman to signal sexual interest.
For more gender-specific preening behaviours, see Chapter 12.
Hairy stuff: The role of hair play
Hair play is important. Used by both sexes, twiddling with your hair is a way of showing that you're grooming yourself to be at your very best for the object of your desire. Hair play can involve:
✓ Smoothing the hair down
✓ Tucking hair behind the ears to reveal more of the face
✓ Hair twiddling
✓ Hair tossing
Clearly the amount and length of hair you possess limits the range of hair play you can use.
Practise with the types of hair play above to see what works best for you and your hairstyle. Avoid frenetic or wild hair play, however, as you'll just give the impression of being nervous or odd.
tBEit Hair play is especially important for women. If a woman finds a man attractive she releases pheromones, a sex hormone. Playing with her hair provocatively releases pheromones from her armpit as she raises her arms, so that by the time he's made his way to her side, he's walking into a great big cloud of the stuff and his olfactory senses are driven wild by the chemical connection.
A good move for a woman wearing her hair pulled back is to unclip it, allowing her hair to tumble to her shoulders. The 'bed head' look is also effective, as it conjures up images of how the hair got to be so tousled.
Continue reading here: Letting Your Body Do the Talking
Was this article helpful?