Reducing the Risk of Rejection

In This Chapter

^ Picking the right people to flirt with ^ Managing risk by degrees ^ Salvaging a flirtation ^ Dealing with rejection

J\ ll of us experience fear at some time; if we didn't, we'd be ¥ • oblivious to danger. However, developing an overly sensitive fear of rejection can have a detrimental impact upon your life and your ability to form and build relationships. While nobody likes to feel, or be, rejected, everyone experiences it at one time or another.

Perspective is something we tend to lose when dealing with rejection; however, it can be a great friend to your ego and help you to learn from and overcome rejection much faster. Even better than perspective is risk assessment, because it actively helps you avoid the risk of rejection and make better choices in the first place. In this chapter, you discover how to minimise the risk of rejection by making good choices of who to flirt with in the first place, stretching your comfort zone by taking risks, and equally as importantly learning how to handle rejection with dignity and confidence.

Gaining Some Perspective on Rejection

Fear of rejection can manifest itself in many different ways. You may tell yourself 'I can't do this' or 'I'm hopeless at doing that' or 'They won't like me, so I won't bother even trying'.

Fear of rejection can often stem from an earlier rejection, possibly from your very first attempt at a meaningful flirtation with someone you found really attractive, when your hormones were racing, and the outcome was the biggest thing ever to have happened in your short life. Being rejected felt devastating. The shock and disappointment of this event may have made you avoid being in a position of risking such hurt and humiliation ever again.

To put this rejection into perspective, it probably happened when you were at the very beginning of your flirting journey, before you'd developed all the lovely flirting skills that Mother Nature blessed you with and which are outlined in this book. You were at your least well-equipped to tell if you should've risked flirting with this person and whether they were interested in you in the first place. Actually, this rejection was an essential part of your flirting learning process.

You've carried this fear of rejection with you ever since and it surfaces when you find yourself in an unfamiliar situation or when meeting new people. Even though facing genuine danger is unlikely, you're still frightened by something that takes you out of your comfort zone.

Rejection strikes right to the very core of you and feels like a personal slight. Actually, though, someone may reject you for a myriad of reasons; many of them either out of your control or nothing to do with you. The person could already be in a relationship, not looking for a relationship, be painfully shy and fearful of rejection themselves, be having a night out with friends and not on the pull, or have just emerged from a messy breakup - the list is endless.

Continue reading here: Making the Right Initial Choices A Flirting Checklist

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