Spotting availability from afar

Telling if someone is available isn't as difficult as it sounds. You can use clues such as their dress and posture to determine who will and won't be receptive to your flirtation. Ideally, you'll make the initial determination from afar.

Dressing to impress

Being well dressed or better dressed than usual (if you already know the person) is a good indicator of intent. If you've never met them before, are they better dressed than others in the immediate social environment? If so, they've made a special effort in order to feel good about themselves and impress the other people gathered.


A person's posture can give clues to how receptive they are to being approached. If the object of your desire is a woman, look for a curvy posture. Women either cross their legs with the toe of their shoe pointing at the person they fancy, or dangle their shoe from their toe, as in Figure 6-1. If they stand up, they place more of their weight on one leg than the other to create a curvy effect. In men, watch for drawing themselves up to their full height, with their legs apart, widening their stance, leading from the crotch, and possibly pointing their thumbs towards their crotch, as in Figure 6-1. Both men and women put their shoulders back to expose their chests. They may also raise their heads to expose the soft underside of the throat - exposing vulnerable areas of the body is provocative.


Playing with hair - stroking it down for men or tossing and playing with it for women - is a key sign of availability. Adjusting your clothes while looking at the other person, wetting, licking, or biting your lips, or putting objects or fingers in the mouth or self touching are also highly sexual (see Figure 6-2). Preening is unusual body language and thus attracts attention.

Figure 6-1: Male and female signals of availability.
Figure 6-2: Girl mouth gesture.

Eye scouting

Available people scan the room to see who's available and to check out who's looking at them. This move is a fairly slow scan of the room. If you see someone scanning round in a quick flash they're more likely to be looking for someone they know.

Continue reading here: Knowing if theyre interested

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