Using flattery

Whoever said flattery gets you nowhere certainly wasn't referring to flirting. Flattering them is a key technique for letting the other person know you're interested in them or find them attractive.

Paying genuine compliments is essential if they're to be received well. If you dish out the same stock compliment to everyone, the person you're complimenting won't feel very special when they realise. Compliments needn't be limited to someone's appearance; they can relate to their personality or something they've done. Chapter 9 offers lots of ideas on using compliments.

Practise paying compliments daily, to friends, relatives, and colleagues, to master the art of delivering them with ease.

Backfiring compliments

I was running a seminar for a large bank recently and in the break was inundated with questions from the delegates. Most people joined in the conversation, but I could see a guy out of the corner of my eye loitering on the periphery. Eventually he pushed into the group, sidled up, and complimented me on having great shoes. I'm a huge shoe fan, and was flattered by his compliment and thanked him for it. Unfortunately, he followed it up with, 'When's Halloween, then?' referring, I assume, to their pointy-ness. I was mortified that he would insult my lovely shoes in such a juvenile way. 'Flattery will get you nowhere,' I responded, as I turned my back on him and effectively cut him out of the group.

Only ever pay genuine compliments, and never joke about one with someone you don't know, because they're unlikely to be amused by it and may even be offended.

Continue reading here: Flirting with Friends Dates and Colleagues

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