The Power of Rapport

To this point you have mastered only the internal building blocks of persuasion. You are already aware of the mindset and disposition necessary for influence. An assertive personality allows you to persist with an idea. Understanding what people want and knowing the human driving force enable you to formulate the right statement of requests. This section builds the bridge between you and the other person.

Granted you are persistent and that you know what he or she wants. Is this enough to sway minds? No. What is amiss?

The human element. Liking. Gravitation. Harmonious resonance.


Rapport is the secret ingredient that makes us feel a tangible and harmonious link. It is being on the same wavelength with the other person. It is the key that makes mutual trust materialize. When rapport exists, feelings of comfort, warmth, liking, understanding, excitement, empathy and attraction draws two individuals together. Rapport makes persuasion possible.

Recall a time when you were in rapt conversation with someone else. Notice that time seemed to have vanished, and all you concentrated on were the wonderful things your companion shared with you. The link was so strong, that you almost knew what he or she were going to say next. When it was your turn to speak, your friend listened in rapture, also anticipating your next thoughts and words. Both of you agreed with each

other on every point. Till the close of the dialogue, nothing could dissolve the magic that bonded both of you.

That was rapport.

Rapport occurs when you like someone else and someone else likes you. Physical attraction plays little role in this. What is important is the psychic bond that heightens from being on the same wavelength. When in rapport, ideas that are shared between two individuals are readily accepted by both parties. For this reason, intense rapport can be similar to a light trance.

Rapport can be artificially generated prior to a "persuasive encounter." To generate rapport similar to the situation illustrated two paragraphs ago requires a little knowledge of the human psyche. There are two psychological principles that have been studied and verified. These rules are:

• We like those similar to us and who validate us.

These principles (together with the rest of the unstated and voluminous supporting evidence) state that we like those who are similar to us. We gravitate to those who validate the way we think or feel, because they mirror us. Essentially we like them because they remind us of ourselves! Once "liking" comes in to the picture, persuading glides in very easily. The task of convincing someone who likes you takes virtually no effort. Furthermore, convincing someone who sees himself in your person makes the task an even simpler, delightful game! Rapport is the third golden key to persuasion.

There are three separate methods of rapport generation. Each one attempts to increase someone's attraction to you. Combine all three in one attempt and persuasion becomes ninety-nine percent successful.

Continue reading here: Mirroring and Matching

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