CHAPTER ONE: YOUR PRIMAL MALE MINDSET
The source of your success with beautiful women rests deep within you. It is the natural primal male mindset you were born with, but now lies buried beneath abundant layers of misguided social conditioning.
Right now, at this very moment, you already possess the correct understanding of what turns women "on". You've just been made to think that your understanding is incorrect.
As I awaken this long-dormant, crucial dimension of yourself, you will begin to not only attract beautiful women, but you will also have continued success with them on every level. I mean every level- whether it's a one night stand, dating, a relationship, or marriage.
The most important effect of awakening your natural male self will be that women will simply find themselves irresistibly attracted to you. And when a woman is attracted to you, you don't have to worry about anything else. She will treat you right.
And if she is not attracted to you, nothing else on this planet will make one bit of difference- she will treat you like dirt.
I will show you later in this book "the motions" that are involved in actually going up to a woman and getting her email or phone number, or in asking her out, etc. I will show you all that stuff. But to be perfectly honest with you, that stuff is really the easy stuff. And it doesn't mean much, unless you understand how to truly trigger her desire for you.
If you just learn "the motions" without truly FEELING and KNOWING what it is to be your natural male self, you will find yourself encountering resistance, obstacles, and disrespect from women very quickly after you get their number, or after you get the first date, etc.
In this book, I will often refer to a man who is the epitome of MASCULINITY, and the epitome of what women want, as "THE MAN".
The entire purpose of this book is to help you become THE MAN. You were always meant to be THE MAN.
If you are not THE MAN, you might still be able to get a thousand numbers from women, yet the women will quickly lose interest.
When you meet a woman, you have a limited window of opportunity to show her that you are indeed THE MAN.
She may not be able to detect immediately if you are THE MAN or not, and so she may very well give you her number if she thinks you might be THE MAN.
But if you screw it up on the first date or whatever, THAT'S IT. You're OUT.
It's quite a job getting back in, and usually not worth the effort it takes. In a way, it's worse than never meeting her at all, because now, you've damaged your image with a bad first impression. Had you just taken the effort to become THE MAN first, it would have been a cinch to attract her.
Let me give you an analogy. If I gave you an opportunity to try out for the New York Yankees, but you were clearly not at the level of the big leagues, don't you think they would be pretty peeved that you were wasting their time? After all, these folks take only the best of the best, and here you are, absolutely unqualified.
Also, would it really matter even if I got you an audition with every team in the league if you were not qualified? And would you blame the league, or would you blame yourself?
And let's just say, that two days later, you somehow magically did have the talent. Do you think they would believe you just because you said so? What are the chances?
Think of attractive women as the "big leagues". They can spot the "real deal" pretty darn quickly.
And they have little patience for those guys who are not the "real deal". These women know that 99.99 percent of the time, their own ruthless screening tactics are effective for selecting guys that are "THE MAN".
Attractive women have no need or desire to give a second chance to a guy who fails the screening test.
If you are not qualified as THE MAN yet, the answer is not to keep going up to women, but rather, to get qualified. If you can't throw a baseball at the speeds of a major league pitcher, the answer is not to apply to a different team as a pitcher, but to raise the speed of your pitch.
When you have what the "big leagues" are looking for, suddenly, many teams want you. With beautiful women, it's the exact same thing.
So, yes, we could skip to the "getting her number or email" part. And you might get an "audition" in the form of a phone call or first date. But do you want it to all crumble beneath you at that point?
BEING THE MAN/TRIGGERING FEMALE DESIRE
That is why, first and foremost, I want to teach you the underlying principles of being THE MAN. You will then be able to handle any situation with women- from getting her number, to getting her into bed, to having a relationship. And you won't even have to try to "impress" them, or "manipulate" them, because their desire for you will reach skyrocketing levels and be totally natural.
When women truly want to be with you, they don't want anything else from you but that.
After all, when you want a woman, all you want is her, right? You don't need her to kiss your ass for you to want her.
It's pure desire, plain and simple. And isn't that the way you want women to feel for you- pure desire?
Sexual attraction IS everything.
For men, and, believe it or not, for women too.
But men and women are DIFFERENT, and thus women base their attraction for men on a set of criteria that, in many ways, is FUNDAMENTALLY different than the criteria that men have for women.
The problem is that instead of behaving the way a man naturally would, which is attractive to women, men end up following some politically correct book, or men apply their own concept of attraction to women, who have a completely different concept.
I believe the "equality" movement has confused some men into thinking this way: "If women are so identical and equal to men, then they should have the exact same easy standards for sex that men have!"
But the FACT is that women are not the same as men.
And guess what? Men are not supposed to be acting like women. Women want men to be men!
Isn't that a relief?
Women are not the same, and therefore they do not want the same things! If women were the exact same as men, they would not want men, they would prefer women!
Most men do not comprehend the massive significance of those last two sentences.
Often, when a man who does not have insight into what turns women on, he will grow upset and angry if she seems cold, rude, or indifferent to his approach. The temptation is to say that she is a cold b**ch. But then, this same woman may very well melt like butter with another guy. Another guy that, on the surface, seems no better than the first guy. Heck, he may even make less money, and be less good looking, than the first guy is.
So what is going on here?
The answer is that the second guy knows how to be his natural male self. And THAT is the way to interact with women.
Let's begin the path back to your natural self...
First of all, forget all those ideas and books about "communication" being the key to success with women. What is the point in being even the greatest communicator if you don't know how to be a man that women DESIRE?
You can communicate all you want, but unless you are THE MAN, all you will be communicating to her will be the fact that you are not THE MAN.
And forget those books on pick up lines. Definitely not natural.
While you're at it, definitely forget the "being a nice guy" method- that's the worst strategy.
You've probably tried all those things and you now know they're not the answer to the fundamental question: How does a man trigger OVERWHELMING DESIRE in a woman?
Before I delve into the details of what "THE MAN" is, you must be ready to believe me.
It's very hard for most people to believe me at first, especially when it seems that all the information out there preaches the opposite of what I say-whether it comes from books, TV talk shows, movies, or even from women themselves!
It's a real shame that the media is so saturated with bad advice for men. I don't believe it's intentional, but it really is horrific.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that not many men read books on this topic, so men's needs have been ignored.
I will say this, though: Women sure have learned how to trigger desire in men. Not only do women spend hours on their appearance, using "tricks"
like lipstick to make them more attractive, but women also have tons of books and articles in magazines on how to manipulate men through all kinds of behavioral tactics. In general, women spend an enormous amount of time learning flirting and manipulative strategies to influence men.
Guys don't even remotely resemble women in this regard. When guys get together, they watch or play sports, drink beer, or play cards. They don't discuss women problems. And when guys are alone in their leisure time, they watch sports or action shows/movies on TV, and read comics, Playboy, or Sports Illustrated.
As it stands right now, compared to men, most women are far better skilled at the "game of attraction".
But not anymore, for you, because you have this book.
This book is going to get criticized by plenty of women. But guess what? The greatest pitfall for men is listening to women's ideas about what women want.
Women have no reason on earth to give away the secrets concerning what they really want, because men could then take advantage of that knowledge!
Think about it - women already know what MEN want, and are using that knowledge against men to get men to buy them cars, houses, jewelry, or to get men to kiss their ass, etc.
Imagine the power you would have if you knew what women really wanted.
Sometimes, a woman may actually want to tell the truth, but she will usually feel overwhelmed by the pressure to be politically correct. She will then say she wants "a nice guy".
So, no matter what women say they want in a man, it is not the same as what women actually want in a man. Often, in fact, what women say they want in a man is not what they want at all.
Once you make the mental breakthrough, finally understanding what women find sexy in a man, you will have a massive paradigm switch in your mind.
It will lead to a fundamental change in the way you think and the way you act. It will change the way you dress. Even the way you breathe, walk, and talk. It will affect the way you do everything.
The only way to succeed requires that you be totally congruent, in your every action and every word and every thought. Every bit of body language you project must convey that you are the real deal. Otherwise, you are sending out mixed messages to women, and to yourself, that you are not really THE MAN.
The good news is that all the elements of being THE MAN flow from one source that already exists within you.
ATTRACTION/INDIFFERENCE/REVULSION ALL OCCUR INSTANTLY
In the first few seconds you interact with a woman, she will sense if you are or aren't THE MAN. She may not completely have cemented her feelings, but those feelings of attraction, indifference, or revulsion are already forming right then and there.
The litmus test to indicate if you are THE MAN or not is simple. It is the answer to the following question: Does she feel attraction? If she remains cold and indifferent to you, it's a safe bet that she probably does not feel attraction.
Women don't think about the process of attraction- it happens instantly and naturally. Similar to the way that you instinctively, immediately feel or do not feel attraction for a woman, so too a woman instinctively, immediately, either feels attraction to you or she does not.
The difference is that a man feels attraction to a woman primarily based on her looks, while a woman will feel attraction to a man based on BOTH his looks and his sexy masculine behavior. As a matter of fact, a man's personality outweighs his looks when it comes to women.
Women are very THOROUGHLY checking out your behavior to determine if you are THE MAN or if you are a "geek".
Unconsciously, and quickly, women assess you, and form feelings of indifference, revulsion, or attraction.
Women will know if you are not THE MAN by sizing up even the most microscopic incongruities in your behavior. (They'll even notice incongruities in your attire.)
Women will notice, consciously or unconsciously, if your words sound confident but your tone is not, or if your posture or breathing show any signs of nervousness.
They will sense any cues indicating that you are not THE MAN.
I am about to start you on your journey back to your true self. However, it has been so long since you have been the natural you, that you may not believe it is really you. You might even feel a bit scared or uncomfortable and feel the temptation to go back being the fake you, with which at least you have had years of familiarity.
Kind of like when you are hooked on junk food, you don't fully realize how crappy it is for you till you start eating healthy.
Therefore, at first, to get you in the habit, you must FORCE YOURSELF to adopt the mental attitudes and physical behaviors of THE MAN, until it truly becomes instinct.
I do not believe in "acting". I don't want you to ACT with women. I want you to just BE.
But in order to be THE MAN, you must first act the part. Imitation is the first step in learning.
And don't just act the part with women. You must be masculine at all times, everywhere. Eventually, this will re-awaken your original, natural impulses.
I'll now show you the way THE MAN behaves, and though at first you will be copying these mannerisms, eventually you will BE this person. It is the REAL you, before you got confused by social brainwashing.
All right, first things first: The core of being THE MAN is confidence.
You know all that talk on TV about women wanting a "sensitive man" who is "in touch with his emotions" and "who can cry"?
Screw it. It's total B.S. Totally incongruent with confidence.
Let me tell you the most important thing you must know about women: YOU MUST BE DOMINANT WITH A WOMAN. FROM THE FIRST SECOND YOU MEET HER, TILL THE LAST SECOND SHE IS IN YOUR LIFE. (And if you're a "nice guy", you need to be more dominant with everyone.)
Being dominant is not the same as being CONTROLLING. Controlling guys are usually INSECURE guys.
Dominance means that women (and everybody else) have NO INFLUENCE AND NO POWER over you especially psychological or emotional power.
It means that YOU have the power, YOU have the influence. And it means that you are not NEEDY for any woman, because you KNOW you can get plenty of beautiful women.
Dominance means you NEVER give a woman what she asks for, and means you have the confidence to never fail this test. You must never, ever, give a woman exactly what she asks.
Sometimes, this requires a little humor to prevent an argument. (See Chapter Four, "Developing THE MAN'S Sense of Humor", p.66, and "Indirect Responses to Her", p.74.)
I repeat, NEVER give a woman what she asks for, unless she is on the verge of a mind-blowing orgasm after endless teasing by you, and she says "God, please, please, please, give it to me!" And then, maybe then, you can give her what she wants, or maybe tease her some more...
The irony of all this is that by NOT giving a woman what she asks or wants, she will actually DESIRE YOU for being strong and not giving in to her demands.
On the other hand, giving in to a woman's demands actually DISGUSTS her, it makes her feel you are a sissy, and she will LOSE her desire for you.
Women love STRENGTH. Confidence and dominance are evidence of strength. (That's what she feels, anyway.)
So, no matter what, NEVER give a woman what she says she wants. Pulling this off right requires both confidence and dominance, which always go hand in hand.
Only when you reach this emotional/psychological level, which women can intuitively sense, will you be THE MAN.
I'm not saying to turn off your emotions forever, I'm not saying to laugh at her mom's brain tumor, or to never cry for something horrific, but all that sensitive, crying stuff is really a load of B.S.
No woman on earth is sexually attracted to an overly emotional guy, to a guy who hangs on her every word, or to a guy whose mission in life is to tend to her requests.
Just observe the guys around you who are good with women, and watch how they are the ones in control, never the other way around. It's the women who are pursuing them...
Women are ATTRACTED to men who don't cave in to the control of any woman, regardless of how beautiful she is, or how much pressure she attempts to apply.
Although confidence comes with experience, there are a few perspectives that I am going to point out to you right now to help you gain more confidence immediately.
IT'S ALL A GAME
The best perspective to help you relax and gain confidence with women is to look at the entire process as a game. Why? Because, in all honesty, it really is a game, and can be a lot of fun.
In this game, men and women compete for the best member(s) of the opposite gender they can get. It's a game where you have to understand two sets of people- the strategies of competitors (other guys) and also the mindset of your "target" (the women).
Sometimes there are teams, where guys will band together, and women will band together, for the same goal of attracting desirable members of the opposite gender. Sometimes, other guys will play tricks and try to deceive you that they are your friends, when they are really using you. Just remember that women have just as many challenges as they try to conceive strategies for winning as well.
But it's all a game. A game where many, many players can win. That should be a relief, because it's not so much about luck as it is skill. And what's great about this game, is that you can get the skill to play it damn well and have loads of fun.
Build up your skills by taking progressive mini-steps, every day. This is how you create unstoppable momentum for success. At first, just tease all women, attractive or not, without asking them if they have email. As you build your confidence, you can start asking for emails, etc.
But you must remember, like all games, there are rules and strategies. If you don't know how to play, the other people playing with you will either cream you, or get pissed off, or both!
Unfortunately, most guys who have difficulty with confidence around women treat the topic of meeting women with too much seriousness.
They look at the whole topic as grim, not as a game.
This "seriousness" is, in itself, a huge part of the problem. It really kills the natural sense of playfulness that adds so much chemistry between a man and woman.
Now, I can't say I blame any guy for being serious, because I used to be that way too. After all, what guy doesn't want a hot woman? But, it is crucial to realize that women pick up this "serious" vibe and immediately detect "desperation".
They know that when you have your choice of a million women, there's no way on earth that you would so quickly be serious about any one woman.
And when you realize that there literally are billions of women on the planet, it really takes the seriousness out of the situation. Think about it-billions. Billions of women out there, every day.
You're gonna tell me they're all taken?
Every day, millions and millions of girls are just turning 18, 19, 20, and 21 probably close to your area! Every day, millions and millions of girls have just become single again, or have always been single, and are looking for a guy who knows how to play the game!
Think about that. This is not a game reserved only for a lucky few. All this game asks of you is that you learn how to play.
Another great thing about realizing that it is all a game, is that women will detect that you are having fun and not taking them too seriously. This is very sexy, since it means you're not psyched out, it means you have things under control. It means you are THE MAN. And it means you are FUN.
Now, I am not advising that you should turn yourself into a clown. I am not recommending that you should be smiling to women all the time. For reasons I will explain later, this is actually bad strategy because it appears you are trying to please them and kiss their ass. So even if you feel like clowning around, don't.
What I am encouraging is a relaxed state of being in CONTROL, since you'll know it's all just a game, a game that you will be great at playing.
Another step in enhancing your confidence is to imagine yourself as confident. If you imagine yourself being confident, you are experiencing confidence. This is no different than "real" confidence, for both are completely in your mind! Think about that.
The next step is to learn all the behaviors explained in this book, that really turn women on, and realize that all these behaviors are part of your original, natural instincts.
And remember this: The fact that you bought this book means you are internally ready to accept knowledge. That puts you in a rare group of people. Moreover, you now have the specialized information to take action now. This puts you into a very elite group of men on this planet.
Remember that accomplishing goals is usually directly impacted by how important the goal is to you. If the reason is significant enough, your mind will allow yourself to be confident. And I can't think of a more motivating and positive goal than to be successful with beautiful women. It is one of the strongest goals that man has in every culture and civilization.
There is a way to win with women. Allow this book to change your reality just like it has for so many others.
Forget about your past experiences with women. Forget about the past completely. It was in THE PAST, and the past no longer exists.
Only NOW exists.
And you can change your reality now, by changing your strategy as outlined in the sections of this book.
Often, the most difficult thing to do is change our current beliefs and behaviors. We will suffer the cruelest punishments rather than believe we must change. It takes a lot of hell to finally decide we MUST CHANGE.
The "I WILL succeed with women" attitude comes from getting fed up with the failures resulting from the weaker "I'll try" attitude.
The "I'll try" attitude is not prepared to accept all required changes. The "I WILL" attitude invites new information, and accepts change, in order to make the desired PROGRESS.
That is why so many people gain success in their goals only after suffering horribly- because they get to that emotional point where they just can't take it anymore, and decide they will do whatever it takes to succeed. They will even do the thing called "change".
And the greatest news is that you'll find that this is all about getting back to who you REALLY are, and not some brainwashed version of yourself that popular culture has instilled in your mind.
CONFIDENCE = PHYSIOLOGY AND CONGRUENCY
Another action you can do right now to gain more confidence is to change your physiology into the congruent physiology of a confident person. More accurately, a confident MAN. That means actually forcing your body to do all the things a confident MAN would.
Hold your head up high. Put your shoulders back. And now, relax every muscle and take 30 SLOW, DEEP, BREATHS.
Do you speak in a meek voice? Your voice will affect your own self-concept as well as how others see you. LOWER your octave to a more masculine level and speak clearer.
Stop listening to sad music NOW. Watch how it changes your physiology, emotions and thoughts.
Your brain desperately needs congruency in behavior, physiology, thoughts, and emotions, in order to strongly feel any particular emotion. Without congruency, the emotion is incomplete.
The way to weaken an emotion is to consciously do things that are not congruent to it, no matter how difficult it may seem to do so.
If you are depressed, your brain wants to match that up with congruent behavior, thoughts, and physiology. Congruent elements of being depressed include listening to sad songs, watching sad movies, hunching your shoulders, drooping, looking down, frowning, not moving around much, etc.
Guess what happens when you act INCONGRUENTLY when depressed? For example, holding your head up high, standing straight, shoulders back, smiling, watching upbeat movies, listening to empowering songs, and exercising?
You simply cannot feel as depressed. It's like something is missing from the "depression formula".
You may even dislike this and say I want to be depressed now, and I don't want to fight it!
Don't give in to this!
If you stick with the incongruent physiology and behavior, it will "ruin" the depression! Stick with it for a few hours, a few days if you have to. IT WORKS.
Throw out ANY and ALL depressing tapes, records, songs, pictures. Burn any pictures you may have of "old flames" that only remind you now of misery. The very act of throwing these things out is a positive action that will have mirroring positive emotions. (Using congruency in your favor.)
Be as CONGRUENT as possible with the POSITIVE EMOTIONS. Don't just think positive, but also do positive actions in order to wipe out the negative emotions.
Stop any actions or postures that are less than befitting a man who is totally fulfilled and confident. Listen only to songs that reinforce the idea that YOU are desirable, that YOU have power. Switch stations if girly-man, moping music comes on.
Stop THINKING about sad things, or depressing things, by FORCING yourself to think differently. One way to do this is to change your mental environment to a positive one of THE MAN. For example, immerse yourself in movies about men who are in total control. Watch Bond movies. And listen to MACHO music, not whiny, geeky, or sissy music.
Remember, garbage in = garbage out. So feed your mind with a diet of confidence and empowerment.
And, in all areas of your life, stop doubting yourself and GO FOR IT. THE MAN has ambition and passion and dreams, and ACHIEVES his goals. He is not chained down by fear.
Environment plays a massive role in affecting the way you think and act, so you must absolutely avoid hanging around guys who are bitter about women, or bitter about anything. It will be hard for you to not be affected by their thinking otherwise.
Once you have mastered this book, then, MAYBE, you can then go back and help them, as long as they are POSITIVE about learning: You cannot FORCE someone to learn.
On the other hand, do try to find guys who are great with women. Hang out with these dudes. Observe how they interact with women. Watch how CONGRUENT these guys are with women in every last detail. You'll start to adopt their successful mental attitude, physiology, and behavior.
Offer these guys a reward for helping you. Or just tell them you respect them and seriously want to learn. These guys often don't mind helping out if they know that you are serious.
Don't worry if you can't find these guys. This book is also "being in the right environment". And even though I haven't met you in person, I am communicating to you, via these pages, every last detail required for you to become awesome with women.
AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS, REMEMBER THIS
I hate to resort to this, but the fact of the matter is that if YOU don't go up to women and date them, some other guy, probably an asshole, WILL.
Unfortunately, women are TERRIBLE at judging character. They WILL go out and have sex with men of HORRIFYING character.
These men succeed because they are not afraid of women, or even if they are afraid, they DON'T SHOW IT. It is your DUTY, as a decent guy, to go up to these women, or some jerk or psycho might do it instead.
Too many good guys are too freaked out to go up to women. Yet if you knew how easy it was, and how women are often so pathetically and easily manipulated by total creeps, you would take more action, even if you weren't so totally confident. You would go up to girls without a second thought, because you would know how often women are fooled.
Why should you sit on the sidelines when it's so easy? Why should you let all the creeps get all the women?
Women want a guy with confidence and a guy who is NOT an asshole. But usually the guys coming up to women are assholes, since they are the only ones with confidence, even if it's FAKED confidence!
I wish women had the magic ability to detect a jerk when they saw one. But the unfortunate truth is that even murderers can fool women, so you can imagine how easy it is for a "harmless" jerk to fool a woman.
Ted Bundy was never afraid to go up to women. Women didn't suspect him. He never let himself get stopped by any fear of women, including the possibility that maybe a woman would detect his true character.
Women don't have any magical ability to detect your character; they can only detect SIGNS of fear and nervousness. So even in a worst case scenario where you don't FEEL confident, at least ACT it until you have the experience to BE confident for real.
You are your worst critic, so stop thinking lowly of yourself and go approach women!
CHAPTER TWO: BEING A "NICE GUY": FORMULA FOR DISASTER
One of the primary behaviors that an unbrainwashed man exhibits is a focus on achieving tangible goals, with great aggressiveness.
Nothing stands in his way. He isn't a nice guy.
This doesn't necessarily mean he is a jerk.
Understanding this concept is a crucial component of the de-brainwashing process and fundamental to the recapturing of your masculinity.
Simply put, women are REPELLED by "nice guys".
When I say repelled, it MEAN it. I am NOT exaggerating.
It's kind of a sad fact of life, but it's ONE HUNDRED PERCENT TRUE. Women equate "nice-ness" with INFERIORITY.
Women are attracted to masculinity, which embodies strength and power. Being NICE is synonymous with HAVING NO POWER.
When you are nice, you send the message "I have no power" to a woman. Which means, to her, that you are giving all the power away, to her!
A "nice" example of a horrifying self-inflicted wound is when a man tells a woman he hardly knows that he loves her. This is NOT attractive, for she feels she has the power over such a man.
Women cannot feel attraction for men who need them, or for any man who exudes weakness in any form. "Niceness" is basically a kamikaze act, a suicide to your future with her.
Nice guys have another BIG problem: Competition from "Bad Guys". "Bad Guys" know a great deal about how to be in this savage, ruthless, and competitive world, which includes the world of women.
I'm not saying women are savage, but because women must carry a baby for nine months, women are FAR MORE RUTHLESS than men in their selection of sexual mates. It boils down to survival and to evolution.
"Bad Guys" often appeal to women on a visceral level that only evolution can logically explain: "Survival of the fittest" = female attraction to tough, ruthless men.
Most men these days, especially "nice guys" don't know why women seem to only desire "bad guys".
Nice guys really believe that it is an exception each time they see a woman with a jerk, even if they see it a thousand times.
Nice guys believe that women MUST like nice guys because it seems to make sense that women SHOULD like nice guys.
I really believe that if men knew for a fact that women did NOT like nice guys, then they would stop shooting themselves in the foot each time they met a woman.
Well, it is a fact. Women don't like nice guys. Women don't usually like abuse, and I'll show you how to be successful without being a real jerk, but get this through your head one more time:
Women don't only "not like" nice guys...
Let me explain to you a little more why women detest nice guys. Being overly nice is NOT natural. It inhibits and hides your instinctive sexuality and masculinity.
The problem is that being nice SEEMS to us to be natural, because we have been SO DAMN BRAINWASHED into it. And it really feels bad at first, knowing that you simply CANNOT be nice to a woman you desire.
But I assure you, it is good and natural to be more "bad" with women. Being "nice" makes women feel guilty and inhibited about sharing their "sinful" sexuality with a "nice" asexual guy like you.
"Nice" is fake. Masculine is real. Masculine is sexy.
Being nice is weak. It ensures you pander to women, in the hope maybe they will give you sex. It is repulsive.
Ironically, "nice guys" wonder as they complain, "I don't know what happened. I was so NICE to her, I treated her so WELL. I was everything for her. I took her places, I bought her things, I LOVED her. I told her I loved her a thousand times. I never looked at other girls," etc.
Yet it was actually this "niceness" itself that ruined everything!
"Bad Guys" used to be the only ones who knew this. They snickered to themselves as they watched nice guys get shot down by hot women who were bored to death of compliments and ass kissing. These women had no reservations about rejecting the nice guy for a bad guy and having sex with the bad guy on the very first night.
And of course, these women complained about the "jerk" that dumped them for another woman the very next day. And the "jerks" laughed even harder at this, because they knew she wouldn't change a bit, and that she would fall for another jerk, again and again.
Well, no more.
This book is going to really stick it to the "Bad Guys" by teaching good guys every damn little secret that bad guys already know.
And you won't even have to be a jerk. Think of it as my contribution for world justice.
"NICE" DISASTER PART II: COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
There is another reason why being "nice" is such a calamity, and why being the dominant, alpha male, known as THE MAN, is so crucial.
Not only are women attracted to the sexy masculinity of THE MAN, but women are forced to be suspicious of whatever good feelings they can muster for a "nice" guy.
Sounds crazy? Not really. Here's why: "Nice guys" unknowingly instill resistance in women by being so good.
When a guy is "NICE" to a woman, then even in the rare case where she may feel desire for him, she will interpret her desire as NOT BEING DESIRE. Rather, she will interpret her feeling as "debt", or "guilt".
She will think she is only feeling emotion because she owes the guy, or that she feels sorry for him. In other words, she will be convinced that she feels no real DESIRE.
Whereas, if a guy is a typical jerk, she thinks the guy's very "jerkiness" is the proof of his sexiness.
After all, the jerk doesn't even TRY to impress her, so he must be so sexy that he doesn't need to try! She then feels no guilt, no debt, and no pity. And if she feels ANYTHING, then whatever she feels will be interpreted as RAW, UNADULTERATED, PURE DESIRE.
And the more he acts like a jerk, the more he reinforces her desire, through the following never-ending cycle of "chick" logic: She becomes convinced her desire is pure, that it is her who loves jerko, because it surely isn't jerko who needs her! And if jerko is so "un-needy" that he can actually continue to be such a jerk, it must be because he is so desirable that he can get away with it.
This makes her desire for him even greater, and as she shows him this desire, he (as a jerk) makes sure to NEVER reciprocate, which makes him seem even sexier because most guys would kiss her ass at this point. She, of course, then desires him even more, and so on and so forth.
Do you get it? If not, read it again, it's crucial.
This phenomenon is known as Cognitive Dissonance, first expounded by professor of psychology Leon Festinger in 1957. What it means is that humans seek inner harmony, also known as CONGRUENCY.
We don't want resistance and conflicting ideas in our head. It doesn't feel good. So we explain our behaviors, and feelings so they seem congruent. Cognitive Dissonance is very powerful stuff. A woman simply will not feel DESIRE for a man if she has reason to think it's actually a feeling of debt or guilt.
On the other hand, if a man does not give a woman any reason to suspect her own desire, she will trust her feelings and believe it is desire.
In order to ensure that a woman does not question her own feelings, and does not doubt your sexiness and desirability, you must NOT buy her things, do her favors, kiss her ass with compliments, or be submissive in any way.
As a matter of fact, always make it clear to a woman that you do EVERYTHING on YOUR terms, not hers. For example, even if she asks you to kiss her, make sure you don't. Don't start an argument either. Rather, keep cool, sly, and in control by telling her something like "I'm not done hugging you". After hugging her, you can choose to kiss her or not.
The point is that EVERYTHING is under YOUR will and power.
If you stay clear of all forms of kissing up, then she will be forced to know that it is HERSELF who has come up with these feelings of lust for you. You must apply this concept all the time with women, forever. Even smiling too much can be a sign of you seeking her approval. Don't do it.
ANTI ASS-KISSING 101 "I LOVE YOU" = ATTRACTION SUICIDE "YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL" = ATTRACTION SUICIDE
In a similar vein: DO NOT TELL A WOMAN YOU HAVE RECENTLY MET THAT YOU LOVE HER.
Second worst, don't tell her "You're so beautiful". Or anything like that.
Most guys tell an attractive woman that they love her, or they comment on her beauty, way too soon. Or they just kiss up to her in a million other ways- it's NEVER justified.
Saying, "I love you", before at least knowing a woman for a few months, makes you look desperate and it makes you look stupid.
How can you love someone you barely know?
She knows what you really mean is that you lust her.
That means she is in control.
This also takes away all the positive sexual tension that could have worked to your benefit had you NOT given over all the power.
You have given her the entire deck of cards, so to speak.
THE MAN is confident in his own sexual worth, and does not say things like "I love you" for at least a few months.
And even after this period, when a woman has shown she is worthy of love, he does not become a geek and start kissing her ass with frequent compliments and statements of "I love you".
Kissing up to women makes you your own worst enemy. It makes you look like an inferior who has to kiss ass to get love. It's also unoriginal: Every guy already kisses her ass- she doesn't want another ass-kisser!
Let's say you're at a bar or wherever, and you decide to sit beside some woman. Don't project that you are trying to get her approval. For example, don't even face her with your body. You can turn your head, but when you talk to her, don't even turn your body UNTIL she shows you some good feedback, or gives a good smile, etc.
In other words, when with a woman, show that you are not under her spell.
Common ways to show you are NOT under her thumb are NOT smiling much, not getting excited when she talks to you, not giving her your ultra-focused attention, playfully teasing her, and my favorite is...
Letting her know that she must pass YOUR standards.
Not only does this eliminate her potential inner resistance, but it also makes you appear HIGHLY IN DEMAND by other women.
You can combine the concepts of not being a "nice guy", and cognitive dissonance, in the bedroom:
When a woman initially performs a type of sex that you enjoy, such as oral sex, don't jump to telling her "I love this", or she will think she is doing it FOR YOU, and not because SHE enjoys doing it for you. Instead, ask her "Do you like sucking on my cock?" If she is in the heat of the moment, she might very well answer "Yes". You can then go on to say "Tell me how much you like sucking on my cock", and she might very well TELL you. And then, she will later THINK to herself, "I actually DO like SUCKING HIS COCK!"
Another example of combining these elements would be regarding a sexual treat you want a woman to perform that she may be uneasy about. Tell her "Just pretend to do it, and tell me how much you enjoy doing it. Pretend."
By pretending, she will still PSYCHOLOGICALLY experience the act.
And if she is PRETENDING that she IS enjoying it, then she actually IS enjoying the act psychologically. And because she will want to match her actions with her current thoughts and feelings, there is a much higher chance that she will then DO THE ACTION for real, and enjoy it!
Is this manipulation? No, because if she really didn't want to, she wouldn't. You're just helping her eliminate artificial resistance.
Anytime you ask a woman to do something for you, you're back to asskissing behavior. To her, it means you are politely asking for something, because you don't believe she really wants to do it for you on her own. And women interpret your "asking" as you not being worthy of her wanting to do it out of her own desire.
Better to help her realize it's HER pleasure as well.
In general, by not kissing a woman's ass, you show that it is in her interest to try to build rapport with YOU, and that you do not need to get on your knees to build rapport with HER!
Remember that women are not your guy buddies. With guy buddies, you don't have to prove much. You don't have to prove that you are THE MAN. (Although you should never be a "pushover" anywhere.)
Women WANT A MAN WHO DOESN'T GET ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES FOR THEM. A man who does not NEED OR BEG for things.
Women want to feel that their desire for a man is CARNAL. They do not want to feel that their desire stems from "I owe him". "I owe him" is weak and pathetic. CARNAL is overwhelming.
Picking up girls is really one of the easiest things on earth once you understand that women WANT MASCULINE MEN very badly. They want MEN, not effeminate ass-kissing creatures!
It's that simple. Once you realize that, your world will change.
Every time that you catch yourself thinking that women like "nice guys", get this image into your mind: Women at a strip club (where the men strip), including hot women and girls, who don't need to be there since they could get plenty of men easily.
These women are horny, yelling, screaming their heads off, getting loaded and trying to grope these naked men.
Are you going to tell me that you believe women when they say they go just for fun?
As if it was non-sexual fun?
Well, let me tell you something: Women are SEXUAL, LUSTING CREATURES.
And if they met a masculine man, they wouldn't have to go to strip clubs to get a fantasy of one. Real men are tough, and DON'T DO FAVOURS for women to get their approval. Remember, being nice is ugly, and it also creates resistance.
Instead, just enjoy the greatest privilege that comes with being a man: TAKE CHARGE AND DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT WOMEN SAY.
WOMEN ONLY LOVE MEN WHO DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!
Nice guys are always doing what women say, and women despise this weak behavior. If a girl ever calls you a jerk, breathe a sigh of relief. Casually reply, "Thanks for the compliment." Show you don't give a damn what she thinks. (Besides, it is a compliment since women love it!)
NICE GUY DISASTER PART III NICE-GUY EQUALS GOOD-BYE
For millions of years, nice guys got demolished by bad guys, and often starved to death from losing out to the competition for resources.
That meant that the women who were attracted to nice guys would probably starve as well, and not reproduce as successfully or often. In other words, with time, there eventually were no women left with the trait of feeling attraction for "nice guys".
It took evolution a million years to fully weed out any women who liked nice guys. The situation has become so dangerous, that it has reached the point where men must embrace the following creed as pure scientific FACT:
WITH WOMEN, NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.
From an evolutionary point of view, the "war of the sexes" has meant nothing less than immortality or annihilation: Reproduction by having sex, hopefully with someone who has awesome (read: sexy) genes is our only chance to survive beyond our own deaths and into eternity.
This means that it only makes sense to find the best sex partner you can, and also to seize any opportunity to gain control in any way possible.
But in women's minds, there is a specific irony: "If a man is controllable, he probably is a bad genetic catch not worth exploiting for genes!" But if a man is controllable but usable at least for his "nice-ness", for his favors, money, etc, that he will provide for her (future) children, a woman will exploit these superficial elements that are not as integral to her genetic survival, and yet not feel attraction toward him. (In her brain, it's hardwired like this: The most important thing she can get from a man is WINNING DNA, in his sperm. If a man is not confident, he seems like he probably has LOSER DNA in his sperm. Therefore, he would create loser children who may not survive and reproduce. Therefore, no attraction toward him.)
Of course, a man who relies on money and "niceness" may not even be the real father of "his" children! This is why it was so important for men to be the ALPHA MALE/the dominant male/the best catch/THE MAN, since otherwise, the chances of raising someone else's child increased.
If you act like a pathetic man, forget it. You're history. When women act pathetic/meek/nice, it isn't so harmful, because as long as they got pregnant, the child was theirs for sure.
But the best assurance a man could get that the child was his own, was to have sex with many women, and/or to simply make himself so desirable that a woman simply would not likely feel attraction to anyone else. He had to make himself a good catch, which meant becoming more courageous, a better hunter, defender, etc. In other words, for sexual value, a man relied on his "masculine" characteristics and LEARNED ABILITIES. These abilities and character traits are what women needed from men.
Whereas a woman's sexual worth primarily came from her looks, a man's value came from what he could do. And acting without confidence makes a woman think you can do NOTHING. It is suicide to your success with women. That is why your behavior is so important.
So not only is "nice-ness" the opposite of masculine, not only is it totally unsexy to women, but women will definitely EXPLOIT it even though they feel no sexual attraction to it.
A woman will usually interpret a good deed as a sign of weakness and inferiority. She will lose attraction to you, and see "an opening", an opportunity, to use you only for your favors. She will slowly wrest all the power away from you. She will try to use you as far as you will allow.
The more you let her push, the more she will feel you are an inferior male, therefore the more attraction she will lose for you. Simultaneously, she will try to use you more and more exclusively for your favors, since those favors are the only use you have to her. Also, there will be no reason left for her to even pretend that she likes you, since you are already giving her everything- and it seems to her like you always will!
Giving a woman "everything" once seemed like a logical way to make her like you, right? I'm glad that now you know it's a sure-fire way to make sure she feels NOTHING for you but revulsion.
NICE GUY DISASTER PART IV: THE PROVIDER
There is another disaster that occurs from being a "nice guy". Specifically, from being a nice guy that BUYS a woman things.
Here's what happens when you buy a woman things:
STAGE ONE: A woman will start to treat you like crap.
STAGE TWO: She will demand that you buy her more and more things.
STAGE THREE: She'll secretly search for a man who turns her on.
This does not make women "evil". Let me state some facts before I explain my theory of why this happens:
1. Women have depended on men for a million years for food/shelter.
2. These days, money is that link to food and shelter.
3. Of course, women have also always needed men for sperm.
However, throughout all this time, a woman could go to one man for food and shelter, (and grudgingly accept his sperm), and secretly go to another man especially for what she has been genetically programmed to "know" is his superior-gene-carrying sperm.
In other words, a woman could use one man for providing, and secretly have sex with another man she "knows" will give her superior children. (And sometimes, even more rarely, women use more than one man for each purpose. In general though, women do not desire as many partners as men desire.)
Here are the two clinchers:
There is evidence to show that when women have orgasms, they retain more of the sperm inside of them.
It is also a fact that most of a male's sperm is designed not to impregnate, but to destroy other men's sperm that may be inside a woman.
If women were so faithful, men would never have evolved to the point that their own sperm has become very much a weapon of self-defense used to counter-strike women's evolved strategies of "cheating".
Think about it: If a woman mates with a man that she is using just for food and shelter, and if she is not sexually attracted to him, she would not as likely orgasm. Thus, she'd not as likely retain his sperm.
She could then secretly have sex with another man she is attracted to, be more likely to orgasm then, and retain this other man's sperm. This would increase her chances of having his child.
My research indicates that women are actually most likely to cheat at the very time they are most fertile... Evolution's way of creating superior children, though it often screws up.
By the way, I'm not saying that all women cheat, and I'm not stating that women purposely cheat at the time they are most fertile. These processes are not conscious.
Attraction is based on basic on cues of genetic health and superiority, although these cues sometimes are not accurate indications. A person could easily be attracted to someone and have a child, only to find out later that the father/mother is genetically diseased.
Nonetheless, this is what is built into us as instinct.
So, if you start buying things for a woman, especially if you do it right away, you activate a very powerful instinct in her that blares "Not sexy, but worth using." This happens to her on a subconscious level, which seems subtle, but is actually devastatingly powerful in its effect.
Better to NEVER buy a woman things, so at least if she is not interested in you, she will not pretend to be interested in you. You will know where you stand. But if you buy her things, she may pretend to be interested, as she tries to use you for money, since the idea of using men as providers is pretty ingrained.
Don't you want a woman to desire you in a sexual sense? Then DON'T make her think you are a provider. Make it clear that ALL you offer is YOU, which is the ULTIMATE pleasure.
Now, I'm not saying all women are bad. And I'm not saying that after going out for a few months, you can't do something nice or romantic. At that point, it will be clearer that you are not doing these things to win her desire.
I'm just saying how evolution seems to have worked, and that therefore you should use this information to make sure you DON'T trigger the wrong instinct in women. If you want to find out more about this, read "Sperm Wars", by Robin Baker, Ph.D.
THE MAN is the ultimate reward for a woman.
He gives her nothing else.
NICE GUY DISASTER PART V: WOMEN HATE "EQUALITY" GUYS
You must ABSOLUTELY ABANDON the idea that you should make women feel "equal".
Women don't want to be equal with you, and, logically, they are even more repulsed by the idea of you making them "number one".
I know this is all contrary to popular belief, but remember, it was popular beliefs that screwed up most guys in the first place.
Women desperately want a man who is SUPERIOR to them.
Men and women are NOT the same. Nor should they be. Nor do they want to be.
Trying to make a woman feel "equal" to you will only make her feel that you are therefore an INFERIOR male.
Does a superior kiss the ass of an inferior? Does a king bow down to his servant?
I'm not saying women want to be your slave, but they DESPISE the idea of being equal.
If you show a woman "equal-ness", she will feel ZERO sexual desire for you.
You will be going right against nature and destroying any attraction she can feel for you.
NO MORE "EQUAL-NESS" WITH WOMEN.
TAKE CHARGE- THAT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT.
Over a million years, women evolved to NOT feel attraction for weakness.
And, just as men are ruthless in their desire for a sexy looking woman, women are just as ruthless in desire for a man who is DOMINANT with her and with everyone in his life.
TOTAL CONTROL OF HER WORLD
You must wield all the cards in the game; your deck has to be stacked. SHE MUST KNOW AND FEEL THAT HER ENTIRE WORLD IS YOU.
Her HAPPINESS is the privilege of having you.
Her MISERY stems from NOT having you.
How do you make this clear?
First, be THE MAN always. And then, at the first sign of misbehavior, DROP her. Make it clear, without anger, that you mean it.
If you have been THE MAN all along, she will seriously regret what she has done. More importantly, the cause of that regret is the loss of YOU.
Then, when she comes back crying, KISS HER.
This will RAISE her spirits tremendously and totally throw her off balance.
And you will have clearly given her the lesson and the feeling that both heaven and hell are in your hands alone.
Does that sound cruel?
Well, the alternative is to become a doormat by not being in total control.
Women LOVE to turn guys into doormats if ANY opportunity for it exists.
By the same token, women WORSHIP a man who IS in control. They CRAVE such a man, just as a man craves a hot looking woman.
As a matter of fact, women are more ruthless in their quest for a dominant man than men are in their quest for a sexy looking woman, because a man typically can have sex with many women, and yet not invest much.
But a woman, by sheer biology and the dynamics of pregnancy, is investing much more in sex than any man, and therefore must be more ruthless in her search for the "right" partner. And the "right partner" for a woman has always meant a MAN, in CONTROL of everything.
It's a fact, and better you hear it now than never.
I once thought women did like "nice" guys. After all, I thought, "God could never have created a world in which those lovely fair creatures called women could actually sexually desire bad guys".
Well, they don't like abuse, but they do like "badguys".
WHY DO WOMEN LIKE BAD BOYS?
Well, it's not because they really want a bad person. It's because they want THE MAN. They want a MASCULINE man.
And it's harder for women to find "nice" guys who are masculine than it is to find bad boys, who are almost always masculine.
A specific example of masculinity common in bad boys is their total dominance, particularly in the arena of sex. Some women go for bad guys because these women feel guilty about their sexual desires. By being with an aggressive "bad boy" who takes full control of the reigns, women feel like they are shirking all the guilt and all the responsibility to him. In this way, women can fully enjoy sex and not feel guilty. Moreover, almost all women, even those without guilt complexes, desire dominant men.
Also, bad boys make their sexual desires clear from the start. Nice guys, on the other hand, steer away from sex conversation, which makes women feel like nice guys are asexual.
If a woman already feels guilty about sex, you can imagine the impossibility of her having sex with a guy who seems to feel just as guilty about it.
Bad boys, in a CONFIDENT WAY, make it clear that sex is important. A woman has to make a decision about sex quickly with a bad boy or a more willing woman will quickly replace her. However, a woman can often string a nice guy along for years without even making out with him! The nice guy will patiently wait for her, and end up dumped for a bad guy who she sleeps with on the first night!
But more than any single characteristic, remember that women go for bad boys because women want a man who will control them, and who will be in control of everything in his life.
They want a MAN.
For millions of years, man has been the hunter and defender for the family unit. Women want a man who will be the "hunter", who is strong, who will produce strong, healthy and sexy children.
Evolution has selected the forces of sexual chemistry between man and woman. Since women needed tough men for survival, that eventually became what all women were attracted to in men.
Makes sense, doesn't it? Suddenly, women don't seem so evil anymore, right?
No more evil than men.
Men desire hot looking women, because basically, sexy women often gave birth to healthier and superior looking children.
By desiring such women, men had a better chance of carrying on their own genes. Their children then grew up to become sexy adults, thus attracting sexy mates of their own and continuing the cycle in perpetuity...
Sexy looking women's hip-to-waist-ratios have remained constant throughout all cultures and times. That's because men's preferences have been instilled by evolution, and because these ratios usually mean "well suited to breed superior children".
Women are allowed in our society to prefer tall men, rich men, or men higher in status. (Even though I know that what women really want is THE MAN.) If this is so, then why should it be any less acceptable or "bad" for you to want sex with a woman you feel is hot?
You are allowed to BE A MAN.
As a matter of fact, you MUST be A MAN or women will detest you.
If that makes you a "BAD BOY", so be it.
Half the time, "bad boys" are just being natural men, and women love it. When women state their natural preferences, for money, looks, or status, (the reality behind all these preferences is that women seek a dominant man) our culture does not label women as immoral or shallow.
The fact is, I am all for a society of good guys and good women. I just want you to realize that women love masculine, tough men. Don't act like some sexless, spineless person or you will not attract women.
Stop acting like a geek if you are in any way doing so. You don't have to be abusive toward women, but you must be completely DOMINANT, calm, and cool. And SHOW it through your actions and tone of voice.
WOMEN AREN'T "NICE"
It is critical to realize that women are human beings and not made from sugar and spice. They are just as competitive, manipulative, conniving, game playing, merciless, and ruthless, in their quest to get the man of their choice. Once they "get" their man, they will try to control him.
The irony, of course, is that women detest men that can be controlled by women. However, women WILL try to control you. Sometimes, women are only trying to CONTROL you as a TEST: To see if you are THE MAN. If you permit them to control you, you FAIL the test.
The desire for control, for both sexes, stems from the massive stakes involved, but it's far more devastating for a man to submit to control. It destroys his sexual attractiveness.
For a man, it's always self-destructive for him to submit to any control whatsoever, no matter what the woman's reason is for attempting to control him. And no matter what, a man ALWAYS ends up coming out more attractive by not submitting.
Since women are not "nice" and since they will attempt to control you with ingenious tactics, it is imperative you keep your guard up and not let any power or control slip through your fingers.
One of the most tragic mistakes a man can make is to let a woman know that something she did actually bothered him at all.
You know all those books on "communicating honestly with your partner"?
Forget about it when it comes to attraction, especially in the initial stage.
You MUST understand that there is just too much at stake for both men and women to play nicely "by the rules".
If you let a woman know that something she did hurt you, she will simply use that knowledge AGAINST you, to CONTROL you.
She will try to see how far you will go, in terms of kissing her ass, to try to prevent her from doing it again. And most guys resort to this pathetic bribery. It's as if these guys are saying, "I'm kissing your ass so you will like me enough to not do that mean thing again."
An example of this phenomenon is when a man tells a woman that it bothers him when she talks rudely to him. Then, not only does he now seem needy, which is unsexy, but also, she can then use extortion in subtle ways. For example, she might hint that you should do this, that, and whatever else for her or she might do the hurtful thing again.
She may use psychological warfare, and act kind of distant, to see how scared you are of her repeating this behavior, and what you will do for her to prevent it.
You must not accept ANY crap from any woman, EVER
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