Your Brain Products Catalog
Eventually, replicators developed into genes. To this day, genes do everything they do because it helps them make copies of themselves. Genes are the blueprint for your entire body, including your brain. This means they create both your body and your mind. Since they only do what helps them make more of themselves, this means even your mind is designed to make copies of your genes. Or to put it another way, your brain is designed to make sure you have as much sex as possible. Of course it helps you gather food, build shelter, avoid danger, etc., but everything it does to keep you alive is to allow you to live longer in order to have more chances to pass on your genes. There are two key implications to this idea
M any of the impulses and 'prime directives' for finding a suitable mating partner are hardwired deep within the primitive parts of the human brain. Some women can just knock you right out the moment you first set eyes on them, while others barely move the needle on your peter meter. Why Because an unconscious image exists within you of what your ideal female looks like. When you happen to stumble across someone who matches this internal portrait walking down the street or standing in line at the supermarket, you are assaulted with all sorts of alarms and whistles going off in your brain. You instantly launch into all sorts of uncontrollable sexual fantasies.
Snap the rubber band you keep hidden behind your wristwatch a few times to get all those powerful and upbeat emotions flowing through your brain. This will act like novocaine for your shame ( hey, I like that ). Whatever you do, don't just passively give in to your shame and the terrible fear that it creates -- stay resolved to fight it whatever way you can. Use every dirty psychological trick you can dig up to reduce the volume of all your negative self-talk. Replace it with upbeat, courageous notions of yourself wherever possible. There is no cheating by using positive replacement therapy that's just your screwed-up Disabled Will giving you grief. Fuck it
When you wear a sweater, your body might notice it at first, but if your brain didn't quickly start ignoring it you wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. and you would eventually suffer stimulus overload. The same thing happens for background noise at a cocktail party, or all of the unimportant things you can see at any given time.
When you're in the throes of infatuation, a chemical in your brain called phenylethylamine (PEA) causes those tingly feelings of euphoria. Other neuro-chemicals, namely norepinephrine and dopamine, may also play a part in your lover's high. These natural uppers are what cause lovers to stay awake all night gazing into each other's eyes or talking into the wee hours of the morning. Sadly, or perhaps thankfully, this chemically induced elation fades. Your brain can't stay in a revved-up state forever
This is why it's important to not be stuck inside your own head. If your brain is consumed with thinking, What should I say What should I do Should I go or not go Will they like me then you are not really able to see the dynamics clearly. I mentioned earlier in the book, being able to focus on your surroundings so that you are socially aware of your environment.
The best way to fix these steps into your subconscious mind is to write them out for yourself in longhand. Print them on a small card that you can keep in your wallet, and get in the habit of reading through them whenever you get a chance. Burn them into your brain at least once a day for a month or so. Twenty-one days of repeated exposure to any sort of new idea permanently fixes it into your deep, reflexive memory.
As you know, your brain is the most erogenous part of your body. In Chapter 4 and in various other parts of this book, I've discussed how your thoughts can make you feel and act sexy (or not). Remember in Chapter 15, when our friend James set the stage for his seduction of Donna by telling her his dream about the bath in the Mediterranean villa Later in the same chapter, I gave an example of seductive sharing of a fantasy vacation. These are wonderful ways to appeal to your partner's mind, and help get him or her thinking of you seductively. But what else can you do to enhance your own preparedness
And secondly, don't go overboard with the Mr. Solution routine. Men tend to respond to people's problems by immediately offering up a litany of potential solutions. That's because we take pride in our ability to go around solving other people's problems for them. The answers are all quite obvious to us That's all well and good, but you have to realize that when a woman dumps her problems on you she isn't always looking to hear your instantly available laundry list of wise and clever solutions. Most of the time all she wants is a sympathetic ear. That's right, you don't have to suffer under the burden of having to think up all those amazing solutions anymore All you have to do is listen quietly and offer a warm hug now and then, maybe pour her a glass of wine and do something to take her mind off whatever it is that's bugging her. It's most likely trivial anyway, right So why burn your brain out giving birth to one solution after another that she isn't going to use anyway, when all she...
There is a well known saying put your brain into gear before opening your mouth and all of us, at some time, have wished we'd done exactly that. If we could limit ourselves and make conversation only on subjects we know something about we would be much safer but that is not always possible.
Your brain thinks you're going to die, and that falling sensation stimulates all sorts of biochemical reactions (adrenaline, neuro-transmitters, and so on) as if you actually are plunging to a certain death. That rush can be very pleasurable for some people including many women.
Right now we ' re going to install the Emosc player insde your brain. Start by imagining the most amazing lookng sound system you possfoly can. See what the speakers look like, and how many speakers there are. What does the player itself looks like What buttons are on it, and what do those look like Imagine every little detail that you possfoly can. Take a minute to do that.
And if you're already in 'buddy jail' with some girls that you know, it would probably be better to just forget about them for now and move on to finding some fresh meat. Only this time you have to be sure to establish some sexual tension with them right off the bat, okay Then you won't have to wrack your brain trying to figure out how to turn another friend into a lover (an impossible task). Listen to me, no great love affair starts out as a friendship, it's always the other way around You must get at least a little spark of passion crackling in her brain at the earliest possible moment or you'll lose your romantic chances with her forever, and the best way to do that is by not being afraid to touch her. Love affairs begin with a bang of chemistry, not a polite exchange of pleasantries, and the sexually-charged touch sets the test tubes to boiling
Whether you believe in these principles or not, you have probably experienced the phenomenon of your energy being lost through sex. When you ejaculate, your body goes through varied changes related to chemical releases in your brain. You get sleepy, you have an urge to grab a smoke, or even raid the refrigerator. What is also happening is a definite loss of will and energy.
Even though we don't usually mean to do so, we reveal a lot of information about ourselves through body language. While you might not consciously think that voice tone reveals anything about personality, your brain early on learns the pattern between voice tone and personality, and your subconscious makes the appropriate associations between the two.
Your brain desperately needs congruency in behavior, physiology, thoughts, and emotions, in order to strongly feel any particular emotion. Without congruency, the emotion is incomplete. If you are depressed, your brain wants to match that up with congruent behavior, thoughts, and physiology. Congruent elements of being depressed include listening to sad songs, watching sad movies, hunching your shoulders, drooping, looking down, frowning, not moving around much, etc.
What I do instead is use a very small rubber band as a trigger because the sensation forms a distinct memory in your nervous system. I loop the band around my wrist and keep it hidden behind my watchband where no one can see it. Pull the rubber band upwards and stretch it about an inch away from your skin, and then let it snap back. The small sting that it makes is your trigger. You can snap it either on the top or the bottom of your wrist, but once you make your choice be sure to stick with it consistently because you'll be teaching yourself to associate this specific jolt with a particular kind of emotional storm in your brain, so it's important that the feeling is exactly the same every time. Otherwise the neurology gets confused and nothing happens. It's those awesome feelings that you'll want zapping through your brain as you reach over and snap the band. Snap once or twice, always the same way. If you can't seem to think of an intensely upbeat personal experience, then make one...
In order to be wealthy, first you must be a wealthy person, with the attendant mindsets and beliefs. Once you have convinced your brain that you are a wealthy person, then you will naturally do what a wealthy person does. And, as a result, you will effortlessly have what a wealthy person possesses. This is true of any sphere of endeavor.
Try to understand the person's emotions. This will help release the potential of the emotional side of your brain. My goal through these exercises is to unlock your brain's artistic side that allows you to express yourself. I am not trying to create a psychoanalyst in you. As I mentioned, there is a very specific reason for this exercise To release and unlock the emotional and expressive side of your brain. Once you start actually using the emotional and expressive side of your brain, you will be able to better express yourself emotionally. Remember that this is an exercise. It is designed to help you tap into a different side of your brain that you have not been using much until now.
There is no way that you'd view that product in the same light as before. An association of disgust would be linked in your brain between that product and the person holding it. You'd develop abhorrence for that product. Similarly, the opposite holds true. Pick up any men's or women's magazine. You'd see semi-naked stunning and gorgeous women on one page, often indirectly linked to a product. Sooner or later, your brain makes the association that in order to keep the company of such a woman, you'd need to obtain these products. Soon, you'll desire a certain brand of shoe, and consciously, you don't even know why. You can't find logical reasoning behind it, but your unconscious mind knows exactly why you long for that item It's the promise of the sex.
This exercise is designed to release the creative energy in your brain and allow you to talk endlessly about various topics. Do not worry about changing topics often. That's the point of the exercise Talk about something for a few minutes and that reminds you of something else. (The point is not to fabricate phony stories. It's to allow you to release your creativity.)
There's only one major problem with this situation of course, that in order to have a sexual-intimate relationship with a woman you must be committed to passing through and suffering in the Zone of Discomfort. All those churning emotions that they write those songs about have to be given free reign to rattle through your brain for weeks and months on end before you can settle into that comfortable relationship that you seek. The primary dynamic between men and women is always described by sexual tension (Nature demands that this be so). Establishing a friends only relationship with a woman is unnatural, and therefore falls under a special category in her mind. In order for her to accept you as a friend, strict control of passion must be agreed upon right from the start. That kind of mental emotional control immediately kills all future thought of passion. You become viewed as something akin to a brother. And brothers can never ever become lovers (except, of course, in Kentucy,...
Palm of your hand the odds are you're trying to egg your brain on to come up with a speedy response or idea So far, so good However, although this is a good tool for self-stimulation, it begins to become a bit of a liability when you perform it when someone else is speaking Your personal metronome will look very much like a hurry up signal to the speaker This will have two effects
If you're hooked on self-calming gestures, then at least try to develop one that is less visible If it takes twenty-one to thirty days to change a habit, find a new one and make it work All you need to do is invent a new self-calming gesture, like rubbing the tip of your thumb . Do it for twenty-one days when you feel calm and comfortable, then begin to use it to calm yourself down when you're stressed . Your brain will learn by association and the new gesture should be subtle enough to keep hidden
Think of it like your brain is a car, and you ae the diver. As you dive, sometimes the car might start to make a funny nose. Cars that are running tine do not do that, so obviously the car is sendng you a sgnal by way of the funny noise. A sgnal that something needs to be looked at. If you just continue to dive, without trying to check out what the problem might be, that funny noise can become a rattling noise. And if still left unchecked, that rattling noise can become a loud banging noise that also brings forth a odor of burning fluids and rubber. By that time, you ' ve allowed the problem to get out of control, and there will be a more serious cost than when it first started. A smple funny noise grew to a banging noise with odors and you are not a very happy person about it. However, had you taken the time to check out that funny noise (the sgnal) then you could have leaned why it was happening (the message). And in doing so, learn what you might have to do differently so that it...
Remember Dates don't always go as planned. Even with the best laid plans and attention having been paid to every detail 'stuff can still happen. How you react to unforeseen, unexpected and unusual things is guided by your Emotional Intelligence. Your basic brain power is called you IQ (Intelligence Quotient) and it is pretty much what ever it is going to be when you were born but your EI is something you learn with maturity.
with in this early stage of dating is the chemistry of lust, which can be much ) more compelling and much more confusing. When your dates go well, your brain becomes flooded with natural amphetamines, or uppers, that make you feel literally high on life. You're full of happiness, energy, optimism. If you were on an old Mary Tyler Moore Show episode, you'd toss your hat up in the air. It feels like this excitement will last forever, which is lust's practical joke on us all. It doesn't last. Eventually, the chemicals fade, and if deeper feelings haven't developed, your fledgling relationship fades as well.
It is not necessary to speak quickly and at length. The less you say the better. Rambling on will only create problems because inevitably your mouth will go on faster than your brain and you'll end up saying something you will regret. The strong silent type definitely rings clear here. Speaking in a calm voice demonstrates confidence. It shows that you are not concerned that someone is going to cut you off and run the show. Speaking less frequently places more importance on fewer words so be sure to select them carefully.
Especially when you really care about the girl. You will always feel pain when you break up. It's unavoidable and there is no quick cure for it. Your brain has attached so many emotions to this person during your time together that you will experience pain, grief and withdrawal from the loss of those emotions. But you must remain strong. If you've chosen to break up with someone, you made the decision for a reason and must be a man and see it through. Life is full of such moments. Be decisive and final. The worst thing you can do is drag it out for months in limbo. You only hurt yourself worse.
On top of balancing your hormones and giving you a better-lookin bod, exercise releases endorphins. Those are the happy little chemicals that throw rave parties in your brain. The result is a natural feeling of well-being and total confidence. I have taken up cycling, weight-training & boxing lately and I just feel more naturally cocky and extroverted. Try it
When you're feeling down, or discouraged, the actions you take will reflect your mood. Your brain has an urgency factor it attaches to certain feelings, and negative states will jack that urgency up, making you feel that you must do something to get out of this lousy emotional state. The unfortunate thing is that you are looking at the world through a skewed and inaccurate viewpoint when you are in a low or bad mood. Anything you do would be likely to sabotage your success, not help you. It would be like trying to walk across a board perched between two tall buildings while your contact lenses are blurry. What you stop and wait for is your vision to clear up, so that you can walk across without worrying about falling to your death.
Buyer's remorse Feelings of remorse that sometimes occur after making love with a new partner. These are very similar to the feelings people have after making a major purchase, such as a car or a house. After the exhilaration brought on by the rush of endorphins to your brain, comes the inevitable letdown accompanied by feelings of doubt. These feelings lead to questions about whether you did the right thing. It's helpful to realize such feelings and thoughts are natural, and more than likely they will pass.
Have you ever been envious of people who seem to have no end of clever ideas, who are able to think quickly in any situation, or who seem to have flawless memories? Could it be that they're just born smarter or quicker than the rest of us? Or are there some secrets that they might know that we don't?